ok so dig it.............. I need advice and help on what to do First!

Hello!

For all who return to this post! Im new at this but would like to thank you for all your advice.

Once I get to Scotland, I dont want to leave. It is a huge risk in my life I am willing to take. My Heart is set on this decision. I will get a return flight and not hesitate to leave if need be. even if its 6 months into our relationship. I have thought about his Social activity and Family and I believe in good faith it will work out. Life is unpredictable tho! If for any reason I dont like the situation Im in and Ive had a huge change in heart I will not live A life I dont want.
nothings permanent in life. Another advantage to my protection is im bigger than him    I dont feel threatened whats so ever.......
Not saying its going to be easy! nothing is.......... Sometimes you just have to take risks in life that scare the sh*t out of you!
I know the pace of life in Scotland, I know thats been my dream for forever! I do have allot of contacts with jobs through other major hairdressers in the beauty industry. I want to move to Edinburgh eventually. Neil has no objections to that and I trust his word. Neil and I have spent quite allot of time together. I know its not allot but his first visit to see me we spent 3 months together and Its as if we had known eachother our whole lives when we met eye to eye. Immediately we kissed when I picked him up from Customs.  and I can assure you hes not a NED.
I know the cultures of Scotland quite well. I know his drug history and his past......... I know what hes gone through to be with me, I dumped when he told me he was self medicating himself  after he came off of speed. He got his sh*t together got a job got sober and came back to me, we have seen the worst in eacother. I have a really good relationship with his family on this end though ive never met them and I know the ins and outs and Dark secrets of the family.

I need to start my career, I know I could get to Scotland on my own but im looking at 3 years and I dont want to be here. I love this man and 3 years is too much time away from eachother! If I start my career here in the States Im only going to leave and start having to build my clientle all over again.

It feels incredibly amazing being with him. But dont think ive not overlooked other things involved. Just have to let go!

Thanks and thanks for listening and reading my whole post!

I also just want to know roughly how much time it does take and should I apply before or after I have my cosmetology Licience?

PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY!

So, have you been to Scotland before?

BTW,  you dont need a licence to be a hairdresser/beauty therapist/etc in the UK.
There is no such thing as a 'cosmetologist' over here... using that word, i mean.   

I have beent there and everytime I leave the UK I get massively depressed! When I was 9 I went to London. Before even going I was obessed with the books and castles on it when I was learning to read.
When I went on the first trip with my mom and sister at age 9 I was kicking and screaming through heathrow airport! I did not want to leave!

Good to know about the hairdressing! Makes it a wee bit easier on me!

I do want to pass the test here though cause ive spent all the money on school! Its good to have! especially with all the traveling im going to be doing.

I can't wait to leave here! California sucks! lol Im sick of the sun!

Wow, I'm really at a loss for words!  I hate to break it to you, but while you think nothing has to be permanent, once you marry someone, it takes a LOT to get out of that.  Marriage is a sacred institution that's MEANT to be permanent, and not to be taken lightly!

Aside from that, I don't mean to be rude, but I'd be VERY leery of someone with a drug problem.  He may say he's clean now, but if his friends/family are still using, he wont stay drug-free for long.  His intentions might be good, but realistically, it takes a lot more than determination to get off drugs -- he needs proper rehab and counseling. 

IMO, you're not just taking a risk, as you say, but you're putting yourself in harm's way.  And why would you want to "scare the sh*t" out of yourself??  Don't you care about your own well-being? 

There are a lot of red flags here -- I think you should take a second look at what you're doing before you've really compromised yourself financially and are left without a plan to fall back on.  Although you think that you can just "go home" if it doesn't work out, transatlantic moves, in either direction, are extremely expensive, not to mention complicated and stressful. 

http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?topic=18943.0

Im sick of the sun!

That may soon prove to be the least of your worries.

I wish you luck.  From the sound of things you might need it.

 

I do understand where u are coming from, however it does sound like you are blind going into this,Maybe you should try coming on a long visit instead of moving right away, so you know what its like living with him and his family. The last thing you want to do is give up your home and your job in America to move here,only to find out you made a mistake,then have to come back to America and have nothing.
And also,not to be rude but if you look at marriage as nothing permanent then maybe you should look into getting a differant type of visa to move here because by that comment it sounds like you aren't too sure about being with him for the rest of your life

Life is unpredictable tho! If for any reason I dont like the situation Im in and Ive had a huge change in heart I will not live A life I dont want.   nothings permanent in life.

Och well, if you look at it that way, then come on over! 
If  you've visited before, and know what you're stepping into, then why not?  Glasgow is a brilliant city.   So long as you're not stuck on some god-forsaken scheme with a bunch of scumbags,  when all the while you're anticipating Brigadoon!

I was just saying hypothetically........  comming from where I live in America it is a natural and not un common thing to get divorced. Anyway! Not saying Im predetermining our future to be *bleep* all! I know I  find extreme happiness with him. I was just saying that life changes, we change but we cant fear situations like this in life cause you never know when or if they will ever come back again. Marriages are never going to be easy amd fun all the time aswell, there is an underlying reason 2 people come together and love eachother and want to spend eterntiy with. I also know that people that have been married for 25+ realize after that time they dont want to be with one another. Life always is changing, thats when I mean nothing lasts forever but im not anticipating for this marriage to end before its even happened! I know you all think Im quite dumb now but tis cool. You dont know me and you Dont know him, you dont know our love and situtaion first hand let alone seen us together or know me at all. I am very happy with your advice! I hope you dont think I am taking this lightly either! Marriage is a big step, not to be taken lightly! Trust me ! He is the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. He could have gone through a drug problem 10 years into our marriage, its possible to  change all time, together and individually..... we evolve everyday with eachother. the human race is evolving in one direction or the other in so many parts of the world. Neil and I are evolving together on separate ends of the world.
I KNOW HES QUIT HIS DRUG ABUSE sh*t! he was just here with me for 2 weeks and when he first came to visit me he couldnt go 2 hours without a joint . he couldnt go a full day without a Valium. I gave him and ultimatum to either leave that sh*t or I dont want to have anything to do with him. generally it did take a while for him to get back to me, we fell out. He made it back to me sober though! So for now One cannot worry about the future, one must let go and live and be forgiven. And try it again, Cause we know we are in love. I know Neil isnt a dick, why would he waste all his wages on flying over to see me with barely enough to live off of when he got back and do it all over again? He still is recovering in a way, socially, family wise, drug wise (hes off of them but still recovering if you know what I mean). The one thing that man is sure of is his Love for me.

I hope that made sense to some if not all!

Looking forward to your oppinions on me now 

I do enjoy it ! Im not bitter!

I KNOW HES QUIT HIS DRUG ABUSE sh*t! he was just here with me for 2 weeks and when he first came to visit me he couldnt go 2 hours without a joint . he couldnt go a full day without a Valium. I gave him and ultimatum to either leave that sh*t or I dont want to have anything to do with him. generally it did take a while for him to get back to me, we fell out. He made it back to me sober though! So for now One cannot worry about the future, one must let go and live and be forgiven. And try it again, Cause we know we are in love.

He's very fortunate he wasn't caught w/dope coming into the US.  If he couldn't go 2 hours w/o a spliff or downers, he must have brought a stash w/him.  Wow, he could have been looking at a long stretch in prison had he been caught w/drugs on him at US Customs.

I know Neil isnt a dick, why would he waste all his wages on flying over to see me with barely enough to live off of when he got back and do it all over again?

Again I wish you luck, b/c I can't imagine what kind of wages he must have to be able to splash out on dope in addition to visits to the US.

But what youre not undestanding is that was the past. While he was here the last time I enjoyed the joints ever so often. But thats in the past. The valium I did know about but none of it was brought through customs. I knew his situation before he came over and stupidly I allowed it. Now this was a year 1/2 ago now. I left him cause I didnt feel he was serious about me. He was not working when we first met he was self medicating himself to come off speed and had social anxiety disorders that needed to be delt with before he could actually hold a job. He make his wages per month and has had the job for 4 months. he buys the 450 pound flight every 3 months (hes comming back in March ive already got the itinerary). He shares his home with his sister and her boyfriend  and they all pay for the rent. etc etc I could go on.... But i really dont need to explain myself do I?

peace and love

Caroline

But i really dont need to explain myself do I?

Nope, you don't need to explain yourself at all.  But you do need to remember that when you post personal information on a public forum, it will be open to comments and/or criticism.  And for those of us who have been through situations similar to yours, we tend to be quite vocal when someone like you comes along, in the hopes that we'll help avert a potential disaster.  But despite our advice, there are still some people who need to step in a pile of dog doo before they have a revelation for themselves.

Obviously, we all wish you the best of luck with your decision.  Hopefully you won't be too shocked and dismayed when it comes time for you to take off those rose-tinted glasses, though...

But i really dont need to explain myself do I?

No you don't.

I'm sold.  If you love him and you've got your heart set, then I'm sold.  Go for it!  It's stressful enough without being second guessed, and lots of people here were also second guessed anyway.  And nobody was ever talked out of moving here once they took the notion to do it.

If you need any help putting your application together, have your fiance call me 07770 673420.  

TRUE!


LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY!

  And nobody was ever talked out of moving here once they took the notion to do it.

Nope, but plenty have packed up their stuff and moved back to the US once they realised the reality of living here didn't match up to what they though it would be like.    In most cases, this kind of move is one you need to force yourself to go with your head before your heart.

Just be careful, Caroline.  Good luck!