ok so dig it.............. I need advice and help on what to do First!

HUH?

 

Are you trying to say that trains are late, overcrowded, delayed, cancelled?  That our transport system is not all it's cracked up to be?

Here in the UK?

Where on earth did you get an idea like that?

 

A little bug's been flying around Waverley and Queen Street stations, wearing a First ScotRail uniform, whispering 'See that cattle car - I mean, train- everyone's mooing - I mean, mobbing - the platform for?  It's only got three carriages.   That'll be £200/month on your direct debit, madam.  Mwwahhhhh! ' 

A little bug's been flying around Waverley and Queen Street stations, wearing a First ScotRail uniform, whispering 'See that cattle car - I mean, train- everyone's mooing - I mean, mobbing - the platform for?  It's only got three carriages.   That'll be £200/month on your direct debit, madam.  Mwwahhhhh! '

LMAO!

Make sure to budget about £3,000-£3,500/annum to commute in from Paisley.  Using a train, it'll take at least 1.5+ hours each way. 

I cannot suggest strongly enough that you explore employment opportunities in Glasgow to the maximum possibility if you are living in Paisley and being extremely flexible when it comes to employment opportunities, nearly all of which are more plentiful in Glasgow b/c it is a much larger city.  A long, expensive, stressful commute - trains are often very, very overcrowded and late, delayed, cancelled - on top of being in a very new marriage, past issues w/substance abuse, long hours and starting a new career doesn't sound like a fun combination. 

You lot can blame dale for that if you want.... he works at Network Rail as an maintence engineer.....so if a trains delayed or cancelled its probably them repairing the track................or just sitting in the van drinking tea holding everyone up....

Well Ill figure it out when Im there....... I really do want to work for Charlie Miller! Id be stupid not too ME making 50 quid on an "F" ING blow dry!

ill have a month or so to adjust. Figure life out, public transport systems, etc......

It will be an adventure! I have the potential to do whatever I want.......

And for all of you you have opinions on EX drug users and them getting on with their lives it could have easily been you! Hes been sober 7 months now. My friends father was a drug addict alcoholic and he got his sh*t together and became a psychiatrist, and does very well for himself. He hasnt had the easiest life but its proof you can build yourself out of nothing! He still goes to meetings etc.... But hes not gone back since.... hes been sober 15 years now..... lives in a beautiful home has a great lifestyle and is lucky he still has the family he almost lost....

So before you have an opinion! try and look at the positives of my situation before you you think my life is going to be sh*t..... Neil has met me more than half way..... .hes flown around the world and back again to see me for the soul purpose he loves me! I wouldnt waste my time with a "waster" if thats what he was! to spend so much time away from him anticipating his arrival in March and eventually being his wife!
Im sorry if you have an unfortunate life but there are many reasons to be happy.... giving people second chances and allowing yourself to be loved will happen if one isnt so bitter about themselves and what happened to them once upon a time!


Anyway youre all great help!

People are telling me I should get married in America First and then move to UK with Neil but can I do that in a matter of 2 weeks? He doesnt want to loose his job and has requested his holidays off already, I plan to move in August.

Is it possible to get married then apply for a spousal visa to the UK?

all in a few weeks?

I have a question, and this is for anyone...

if your fiance DIDN'T give you the opportunity to live in the UK, would you be in such a rush to marry him? Do you really love him as much as you're love with the romantic idea of living in a different country?

In other words, how would you feel if he said "let's live in the US instead?" Would you still be as interested in him? If he wasn't British or didn't have an accent, would he still be as appealing to you?

I wouldnt be with my husband if he wasnt Scottish.
His west-of-scotland quirkiness is a very redeeming quality... overshadows a lot of his faults. 

Well American men have never been appealing to me...they.... Its all in what your attracted too. Some men like fat women. some men who are white only like black women. some people only date their own religion.
etc etc etc.....
So if he did want to live here Id support it but he wants me to live my dream and experience the scottish life Ive always wanted. We have some years ahead of us to decide where we absolutely want to spend time raising children.  Plus if I didnt want to spend the rest of my life here why would I settle down with someone here? Or let alone want too?

The accent really helps he sounds like hes singing to me 

I have a question, and this is for anyone...

if your fiance DIDN'T give you the opportunity to live in the UK, would you be in such a rush to marry him? Do you really love him as much as you're love with the romantic idea of living in a different country?

In other words, how would you feel if he said "let's live in the US instead?" Would you still be as interested in him? If he wasn't British or didn't have an accent, would he still be as appealing to you?

it wouldn't make a lick of difference to me if DF was from birmingham, botswana or the boondocks--he's the one.

I went off American men before I ever got on 'em.     They never really did much for me, tbh.

I gave myself the opportunity to be in the UK.  It would have happened no matter what.  You can do anything you want to do, you don't need to rely on someone else to do it.

I've lived in many countries - including two years on my own in France and a year in Mexico and several in S. America.  I didn't have any 'romantic' illusions about what life could be like in a different country, nor have any special notions regarding men w/'accents' - I've always been the expat w/the accent; not the other way round.

DH has no desire to live in the US.  If he developed one, he'd have to find some other way of getting there besides me and the kids.  It is not for me, full stop. 

Never was, never will be.  It's for many millions of others, including all my family and some of my dear friends.  Good for them.  I'm glad they're as happy there as I am here.

if your fiance DIDN'T give you the opportunity to live in the UK, would you be in such a rush to marry him? Do you really love him as much as you're love with the romantic idea of living in a different country?

Makes no difference to me- I would happily live in the US with him if he was willing (and in fact, we are probably going to try to move back to the US in about 3-4 years anyway.)

I enjoy the pace of life better in the UK............ actually anywhere in Europe for that matter!

I wouldn't mind a place in France myself . . .

And why does the Mercy run through Liverpool? 

Because if it didn't, it would get mugged...

 

Hey now....wait just a minute!!!!!   

I'm an American....living in Liverpool.  I hear this same thing all of the time.  The poor Scousers...they sure have a bad reputation.  When I tell others in the UK that I'm in Liverpool...they laugh and say....bolt down your hubcaps! 

But I have to say this.....I've been here 18 months now, and Liverpool has not lived up to their reputation.  Theft here is no greater than anywhere else in the UK....read the statistics.   

There are always bad people...anywhere...but for the most part, I've found Liverpudlians to be very warm and friendly people!  They have a peculiar sense of humor as well, and are always ready for a laugh!

Don't be afraid of Liverpool.....it's a great place   

I always had a fascination with the uk,mainly because I was into a lot of uk bands like the beatles,sex pistols,the who and etc. and when I met my hubby it was a big bonus,he earned a lot of brownie points.but even if he lived in bumblefuc* egypt,I would still be with him

This has been a very interesting thread, with a lot of wisdom shared.

My Fantasy Man has a Scottish accent, but I'm well aware that Reality Man may not.  I've thought off and on for years about living in the UK and would never marry a man simply to facilitate that.  After all, love him or not, I'd still have to live with him.  I'm American, but have always done better with foreign men.  Should I ever remarry, it will be to someone with whom I'd live almost anywhere.   

As for knowingly entering into a relationship with someone who has a history of substance abuse--never again.  My ex was 2 years sober when I met him, and relapsed shortly after we were married.  I had no clue until he walked out on me and our child, who was under 2.  After that, I found out he had a secret life, including a woman with whom he did drugs.  I was emotionally, and nearly financially, bankrupt.   He has always blamed everything but himself for what happened in his life. He's has nothing to do with our daughter for almost a decade.  He's never done anything for her either.  I had to deal with the creditors and 7 years of bad credit.  Before I met him, my credit rating was wonderful.   

Because I've been there, done it, have the divorce decree and T-shirt, I feel I can say a thing or two.  1.  Please get a support system for yourself established as soon as you can after arriving in Scotland.  Check out something like Al-Anon or another group where people are sharing your struggle and have been where you've been with the boyfriend.  2. Learn everything you can about your legal rights should the relationship go sour.  Because you're seeking to enter the UK with a visa contingent upon sustaining a relationship, you need to know everything you can learn about your rights and recourse should things not work out as you planned.  3.  Always make sure you've got your own means to either get back to the States or pay for your own residence should it become necessary. 

I really do wish you much happiness and hope Neil is one of the ones who can truly lead a long, healthy, sober life.