Any ideas??

Hi!

I was gone for awhile with work and then my trip to London/Greece with George. But I am back!

..with a bit of a dilemma.  

We've decided that we're ready to move forward and try our hand at living on the same continent. However, he has had NO luck on the job front in the UK. I know these things take time, unfortunately time is not on our side. Greece requires a one year military service for all male citizens. No job = 1 year military. His service would start in Feb 04 and at best I could see him Feb 05.

In the grand scheme of things a year is really not that long. We've already been at it for a year but I've been able to go there twice.. Once for 2 weeks and this last time for 3.  It would give me time to pay off bills and save some extra money for a move.. BUT it is ages when you can't see the one you love.

Sooooo, to get to the point.   I figure most or all of us have dealt with or are dealing with the distance thing. For short or extended periods of time. How did you do it?? What do you do to keep it going? Phone, emails, icq etc. Altho with him in the military - I'm not sure how handy these will be. Actually writing letters (pen?! paper!!? ) A friend of mine suggested buying a journal that we would keep for a couple days or a week just to write our thoughts or day to day events and then send it to the other person.

Basically I'm looking for any unique ideas, or really... any ideas that you guys might have and are willing to share.  ..please??   Both of us are looking at a year and 5 months thinking 'oh my god, can we do this?!' ...but then looking at the last year and knowing we can't just give it up like that.

And until then, he has this week to track down any leads that he can on a job. I'll be hoping and praying.  :'(

-K

Aside from phone calls, what David & I did were handwritten letters and Instant Messenger. But I did make a book one time that he loved and we still read through... It took me a while but I took a small, blank journal and in it I wrote - scrapbook style - all the happy thought I could think of that we had shared together. The inside jokes, the good phone conversations, and everything I could remember about our short times together. I'd only put 2 or 3 memories down on each page, separated with space, in different color inks etc... that way I could actually fill up the whole book - but had space to write down more happy times as they came! I gave this to David while he was in Spain, there were 9 months of our LDR that I was in Michigan and he was working 10 hours a day 7 days a week in Spain, so we were both quite miserable. But he did have his little book to look through and read through, to remind him of the GOOD times. It's so important to do that I think, otherwise it becomes to easy to focus just how HARD things are, and not what you're doing the hard thing *for*, you know?

I also found that keeping my own specific David Diary helped, something he'd never ever see, something dedicated solely to writing in when I felt miserable, like I couldn't handle it any longer, frustrated with him.... rather than pouring it all out on him (though he still got spenty to be sure!), I put it in the book so that I had vented and our conversations could have the space to be happy ones.

Let us know how things go - this must be really hard on you... I don't know how your specific situation feels, but I know how distance feels!

You can also bug mfredricka when she gets back on the board, she and her man went an entire year without seeing each other, and are know happily back in each other's arms - proof it can be done, and hopefully a source of help for you.

OH! Also: Barnes & Noble sells a cool thing (sold where the notecards and journals are) called a Correspondence Journal that is designed for what you were talking about... one of you fills in bits and then sends it to the other, and vice versa. You should get one of those!

You could also do a talking diary on cassett.

My husband and i were able to text message each other via our cell phones while he was in enlgand and me here in the US.  There was no extra charge for international texts so it's quite economical, too.  It was a great way to keep up on one another's daily happenings and send loads of 'i miss you's.' I'd imagine that the phones with photo capabilites would be great to have in this situation too. That being said, however, it's a dangerous medium if you're feeling frustrated, sad, lonely, etc.  Just like instant messaging must be, I suppose.  I had the tendency to pour really intense feelings into these quick little blips and in turn, caught him completely off-gaurd sometimes.  Not fair, i know.  But being apart it so incredibly painful, isn't it?

Hi Karpata, as a gift to Chris I sent him a small talking photo.  I got it at Radio Shack. It was like 3X3 and you put a picture in one side and you can leave a 10 second message (it might be a bit longer) on the other.  The message can be done over and over.  But basically he has your picture and your voice whenever he needs it.  Chris loves his.  He's worn out the battery already.  Best of all it wasn't that expensive and he could put it in his pants pocket.  I will rerecord a message for him when I see him again after 9 months apart.  I know how you feel about distance.  We are 6 months from our wedding. Best of luck to you.

Thank you all for you ideas, I love them! ..and we've got some time to fill so I think I can put them to use.. I can just see myself rambling on on a cassette tape ...about nothing really. Maybe it is.. endearing. Altho he might veto that one shortly after... ;p

I know alot of it is going to be 'wait and see' as far as how much internet/email he is going to have available to him, etc. The rest we are going to have to be creative about

So, even tho I am not going to end up in the UK anytime in the next year-ish, I hope I can still hang out here. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Thanks again for the suggestions!

-K

Karpata are you kidding?  I've been here for months and I don't move over until April.  I have learned so much about the move, learning to live and what to expect in the UK.  I've gotten funny things to speak to Chris about.  Plus its brought up some serious issues I would not have thought of.  YES please stay here.  You won't regret it.  You'll have friends and people you can count on when the going gets tough - even before your move.