Immigration Officer Phobia

OK I have been reading and searching and reading and searching so not to annoy everyone with a repeat question. I answered a lot of my questions that way but still have another.

I will be visiting England in March for my fourth visit in about a year and a half. I flew into Birmingham in November and was questioned and made to sit off to the side and wait for more questions. It seems the problem was my stating I was visiting a friend. The Immigration Officer corrected me several times and said "were you visiting your friend last November... and last March.. don't you mean your boyfriend?" Well I don't refer to him that way, I guess I am not big on labels. I am in love with the man but didn't realize she needed to know that.

Anyway.. this visit I decided I will just say I am visiting my boyfriend for two weeks. Easy enough, but I am still nervous so plan to bring proof I will return to the US. I figured I will bring a letter from work just approving my vacation request with the date I am expected to return, a copy of my mortgage papers and a copy of my custody arrangement showing I have a child to get back to. My boyfriend doesn't work at the moment, he is a full time parent, which also seemed to really annoy the IO. I don't know if I should bring any financial info for myself for such a short visit? I generally just carry my check card and credit card and haven't had problems so far with that.

Here is the question finally.. does this seem like too much paperwork to carry on me? I just don't want there to be any doubt that I will be returning to the US. My trip into Birmingham really scared me and I don't want to take the chance of being turned away. I will have an e-ticket but always carry the receipt/itinerary as well to show when I am leaving. Will it seem odd if I just pull out a folder full of proof of my ties to the US if hassled?

Thanks in advance for any input!

I always fly into Birmingham, and out of 6 times, was held and questioned 3 times.  I never brought any paperwork with me, just answered questions honestly, stating that I was visiting my fiance.  I was always told NOT to try to get married while there, and just told the IO that I would do nothing to keep me from doing it legally when the time came.  I was told to leave once, but it was rather weird, I guess.  They didn't give me any paperwork, just verbally told to return to the airport in a week, and go back to the US.  I did, have been back a few times since, and other than a few questions, no problems.  Has anyone else had problems there?  Just curious.  I will be flying into Birminham again in (hopefully) March with a fiance visa, so I trust there won't be any more questions!

To be honest I don't know why you even need to say that you're visiting your boyfriend....why won't just friend suffice? The things that you listed would surely indicate that you intend to return. I doubt very much that you'll get pulled for further inquiry but keep in mind that if you do they'll go through anything and everything that you have including diaries, letters between the two of you, etc, etc so it's best to leave those kind of things at home......otherwise relax, someone with a job to return to and mortgage papers is'nt likely to raise any red flags with them.

My boyfriend doesn't work at the moment, he is a full time parent, which also seemed to really annoy the IO.

I wouldn't bring up the boyfriend anymore...based on your comment about the IO being annoyed, if your boyfriend is independently wealthy no problem but if he stays home on public assistance to be a full time parent that could be a big red flag as they wouldn't want you to end up over here on the dole as well. That's a hot potato over here and not only for IO's.

I still think you should say you are coming to visit me. I mean Im sure we will hook up anyway so it's not a lie. You have my information you can give to them. Keep that in mind when you come over Suzie.

Thanks everyone. It just sucks that they have so much control over who does and doesn't get in to visit, when I intend to do nothing wrong. Maybe Birmingham is worse? I don't know but I am flying into Gatwick again this time, seemed to have better reception there.

Ricki, I am just paranoid to say I am there to stay with you. I get nervous enough telling the truth, and yeah it's kinda true but what if they have some notes in the computer on me from last time?

As for saying he's my boyfriend, I didn't last time, just said I was there to visit "friends" which was in fact true. But upon further questioning, thats when the IO kept saying "your boyfriend" and getting annoyed by me refering to him as my "friend".

I guess I'll just bring the stuff with me to show I have ties to the US that I need to get home to, and cross my fingers all works out alright. I just wondered if it would seem suspicious or strange of me to be carrying such paperwork. I suppose I will just tell them I was questioned last time?

Thanks everyone 

I have not been in your shoes, but I can't see why having evidence that you're going back to the US is a bad thing. If they question you on that, be honest. Tell them you were questioned before and that you didn't want it to happen again. Garry has mentioned that they are very good at spotting lies and you have NO REASON to worry since you are telling the truth! I brought my mortgage papers as well as a letter from my boss the last time, just in case and didn't need it. Start practicing some deep breathing/relaxation exercises now, so that you can present a calm, collect Suzie at the airport. Remind yourself that you're NOT doing anything wrong/illegal and that they have no reason to turn you away. Think positive! The majority of what we fret over never comes to pass!

I was questioned several times also...and it is best to say "boyfriend" from the beginning (though I felt silly at 37 thinking I was in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship!) because I got grilled when I said I was visiting my friend and they just say "come on now...blah, blah, blah." Bring the paperwork just in case. I also had pics of my kids and said that my mom was watching them and of course I was going back to them!

Thanks Courtney, I'll work on some deep breathing all the way there on the plane hypervenilating lol. But I know you are right, most of the time I get worried things turn out just fine. I just want to be prepared as much as I can, I hate feeling like I have no control of what's happening.

Geally you sound like me. I think that's why I find it silly to say "boyfriend" too ~ I am 33 years old! But whatever works for them!

So, I'll bring the paperwork, try to work on my calm, cool, collected side and think happy thoughts!

Thanks everyone 

eeeekers--just read this and now i'm a bit freaked.

i'm flying into mancs on saturday morning. spending news year's with DF. i'll have a big-ass suitcase full of christmas pressies with me, so it may look like i'm staying for ages. 

i've never been stopped by immigration before.

i'll have all of the wedding stuff with me, as we need to go over some things like music & vows & menus, so i'll have the contracts showing that we're being married in the states in may. hopefully that'll be enough to get me by in the event i'm stopped.

somebody slap me & tell me to farking relax.   

It is best not to lie, or omit information, about who you are seeing, as the officer may ask you detailed questions about that person-- their job, their living arrangements, your relationship and how you know them, etc. In my opinion, correcting your statement after being questioned (changing "friend" to "boyfriend") sounds fishier than just saying "boyfriend" in the first place.

eeeekers--just read this and now i'm a bit freaked.

i'm flying into mancs on saturday morning. spending news year's with DF. i'll have a big-ass suitcase full of christmas pressies with me, so it may look like i'm staying for ages. 

i've never been stopped by immigration before.

i'll have all of the wedding stuff with me, as we need to go over some things like music & vows & menus, so i'll have the contracts showing that we're being married in the states in may. hopefully that'll be enough to get me by in the event i'm stopped.

somebody slap me & tell me to farking relax.   

Smack.. now flippin relax!!    How's that? I didn't mean to get others worried, just my neurotic self and my over active brain. If you haven't been stopped before I wouldn't worry. I had a suitcase full of gifts too, but they never looked in my luggage as far as I know. Don't they have to inform you if they do? Anyways, I would think having the information that you are planning a wedding back in the states would definitely work in your favor. Have a great trip and quit worrying... now I will work on taking that advice 

It is best not to lie, or omit information, about who you are seeing, as the officer may ask you detailed questions about that person-- their job, their living arrangements, your relationship and how you know them, etc. In my opinion, correcting your statement after being questioned (changing "friend" to "boyfriend") sounds fishier than just saying "boyfriend" in the first place.

I've never lied, and would never suggest someone do so. I don't think anyone is talking about lying.. I do visit Ricki when I am there! I don't stay at her house... but I do visit. I just think I would be too nervous to say anything other than the whole truth and tell them what they ask. When I said I was there visiting friends, that was the truth. But like I said, the IO that day was irritated with my use of the term and corrected me every chance she got. So I figured it best to just say boyfriend from now on. Who knows, maybe the next one won't like that.. you never know what you'll get. That's what I mean.. it's scary to me knowing they have that much power and it varies from one person and one day to the next how things will be. I would think there would be some sort of standards as to what raises a red flag and how that should be handled. Don't get me wrong.. I do respect the job they are hired to do and understand the importance of it. But they still scare the heck out of me!

That's what I mean.. it's scary to me knowing they have that much power and it varies from one person and one day to the next how things will be.

I agree! That type of power can be so easily abused. This was one of my main fears when I was applying for my license to work in the UK. All of my education and experience here was in the hands of one person, who, if they had been having a bad day, could have easily said, "No, you can't work here".  It's a daunting thought, but I guess if you extrapolate it, we all put our trust in others everyday. We have to trust that the meat we buy is not tainted, that the doctor we see is making the right diagnosis, that the website we visit is not giving us a virus, etc. Overall, it's amazing how well things actually work! It does pay to take the precautions we can, but after that, a little faith goes a long way

Smack.. now flippin relax!!    How's that? I didn't mean to get others worried, just my neurotic self and my over active brain. If you haven't been stopped before I wouldn't worry. I had a suitcase full of gifts too, but they never looked in my luggage as far as I know. Don't they have to inform you if they do? Anyways, I would think having the information that you are planning a wedding back in the states would definitely work in your favor. Have a great trip and quit worrying... now I will work on taking that advice 

lol--thanks. i needed that!