Breast is Best

See those times are the only ones where I might give a mother a look... or think it to myself...  Same goes for the 12 year old and 16 year old sisters that screamed and  grabbed onto MY arm and MY body during take off and landing...while their parents drank and basically ignored them....(though at least I did get a thank you for helping to talk them down ) or the 4 year old girl that slapped her mother and repeatedly hit her when told to get in her jammies until mom gave in and breast fed her...actually she screamed and threw tantrums the entire flight... okay 7 or the 8 hours.... see an infant I can see... I toddler I can understand too... but a 4 year old... and the things the mother and father were saying to her... I wanted to ask her exactly who was the parent and who was the child? 

There are some cases where.. really... one does want to issued parenting licenses.

That is one place I am I think the most stressed out being a mother in terms of feeling judged - the airplane. I've traveled back and forth to LA with my daughter and every trip has been a nightmare of stress for me, worrying about making sure my daughter is ok, not having trouble on the flight and well behaved. She is actually a great little traveler, but the sense that there are loads of people judging me as a mother drives me to distraction. You just know that as soon as you show up in the waiting area for the flight you are clocked with your child by everyone else - 'OH no, is that child going to be a bother for the next 11 hours'. I had a horrible experience the first flight where she ran around the waiting area like a toddler with pent up energy and I was trying to get her reined in without causing a scene and anyway it was a bad memory for me. The flights home are alright because they are night flights and she mainly sleeps but with the seats being so cramped and everyone so close together you are so concious of being respectful of people's space and trying to manage your own. And this year I will have the baby too and I am already dreading the flight.

 

What I find most "amusing" is when people who don't even have kids comment about how to be a mother to someone. For instance a family member of Dales was critising me for saying "buhbye! buhbye" to Courtney while waving at her when I had to leave to go somewhere. She said how silly it was since Courtney couldn't understand what it meant... whatever

Yeah in that case I would tend to agree but some people who don't have children do still have a lot of experience with children - maybe they work in childcare for instance or maybe they have 56 younger siblings.   But as far as talking to babies/young kids go, I talk to Ethan all the time when we are out and boy do I get some weird looks sometimes when I am asking his opinion in the supermarket.  I just ignore them.

Yeah in that case I would tend to agree but some people who don't have children do still have a lot of experience with children - maybe they work in childcare for instance or maybe they have 56 younger siblings.   But as far as talking to babies/young kids go, I talk to Ethan all the time when we are out and boy do I get some weird looks sometimes when I am asking his opinion in the supermarket.  I just ignore them.

You should talk to your children! It helps them develop better language skills faster, gives them more understanding of language, makes them fill cared for, etc.  I work with a 23 month old and her older brother and sister have talked to her since she was born like she understands everything coming out of their mouth, and she has amazing language skills. She started putting 2 words together at 18 months or so, and now says everything. (and is starting to make some sentances)

Yeah in that case I would tend to agree but some people who don't have children do still have a lot of experience with children - maybe they work in childcare for instance or maybe they have 56 younger siblings.   

Even then.  I have a lot of experience w/penises and that doesn't mean I can even come close to knowing what it's like to own one!

No but I bet you know how to treat one!!!! 

It's one thing to have a toddler misbehave on the plane or even an infant... in some cases myself or other people have gone out of our way to help....

It's a whole other kettle of fish with much older children or when there is abuse taking place or children really are doing the parenting.  My empathy kind of goes out to them, because they really could use one of those Tiny Terror interventions.  A lot of people simply do not know how to parent because they may not have every had a good roll model or perhaps they are too young or too something... whatever I think not too many people can say they have not judged another person or parent. 

I do recognize that until I have my own children I won't fully understand... but I and many others are quite qualified to comment.  As teachers, psychologists, care professionals and medical professionals there are plenty of people without children that have every right to express their experienced and educated thoughts.

To dismiss those ideas because they don't have a child is each persons prerogative.

I am very glad that a lot of the parents I have encountered have listened to me..... and most of them did so knowing I had no children of my own.

No but I bet you know how to treat one!!!! 

God I just inhaled my water! 

I nearly said something but held back ...let's not go down that path!!

ROFL!!!!!!

....you guys are going to get me banned from the computer lab....


 

That is one place I am I think the most stressed out being a mother in terms of feeling judged - the airplane. I've traveled back and forth to LA with my daughter and every trip has been a nightmare of stress for me, worrying about making sure my daughter is ok, not having trouble on the flight and well behaved. She is actually a great little traveler, but the sense that there are loads of people judging me as a mother drives me to distraction. You just know that as soon as you show up in the waiting area for the flight you are clocked with your child by everyone else - 'OH no, is that child going to be a bother for the next 11 hours'. I had a horrible experience the first flight where she ran around the waiting area like a toddler with pent up energy and I was trying to get her reined in without causing a scene and anyway it was a bad memory for me. The flights home are alright because they are night flights and she mainly sleeps but with the seats being so cramped and everyone so close together you are so concious of being respectful of people's space and trying to manage your own. And this year I will have the baby too and I am already dreading the flight.

Stella if people have a problem... it's their problem...

not yours...

let them fly on the wing if it bothers them that much... but yes... you do get the "look"...  and sometimes the adults that have to sit near the child behave even worse than the child.

I'd never complain about a fussy kid... just teens digging their nails into me and a really disturbing 4 year old -- there were some major major weirdo things going on...  I sat close enough to them to hear things I wish I had not. So weird I wish I HAD said something to someone...

I nearly said something but held back ...let's not go down that path!!

It won't happen again, I promise.      Couldn't resist.  Instant detention for me!

What I find most "amusing" is when people who don't even have kids comment about how to be a mother to someone. 

I don't have children, but I do feel qualified to tell one human being if they're mistreating another human being. Using the example VNP used above, with the father smacking and swearing at his child: You don't need to be a parent to know that's wrong. When I see things like that, I have to confess that I usually don't speak up, even though I know I should. I just give "the look." But on occasion I have said something. I'm sure in the long-run, it does no good, but I feel I've done the right thing. You don't have to have children to know what's right and wrong.

For instance a family member of Dales was critising me for saying "buhbye! buhbye" to Courtney while waving at her when I had to leave to go somewhere. She said how silly it was since Courtney couldn't understand what it meant... whatever

But were you saying ala Saturday Night Live?  Now that would be funny... :-)

and while I am not a mother... as a professional...I can tell you without a doubt that you are doing the right thing by talking to Courtney....

and while I am not a mother... as a professional...I can tell you without a doubt that you are doing the right thing bye talking to Courtney....

So true, She gets a huge smile on her face and starts to kick up her feet when I say it,because she loves her feet being kissed lol
She is so smart and I'm not just saying that because shes my daughter, Before I went into town yesterday I said buhbye to her and she gave the lower lip pout,then when I said don't cry Court-Court,mama will be home soon! ,she gave the hugest smile   

She is so smart and I'm not just saying that because shes my daughter

Aw!

I woke to find Roisin sleeping in her Moses basket, completely rolled over on her side, this morning!     She's 7 weeks old!  Aillidh wasn't doing that till about 4 months. 

Now if only we could convince her that night means it's time to sleep . . .