Starting secondary school

So, the old navy backpacks arrived today, the skirt is bought, the blazer is on order, and for some reason I'm a nervous wreck about this.  It was okay with the oldest, she hated primary school and we had chosen a secondary school where there wouldn't be anyone from her old school.  She looked at starting secondary school as having a fresh start and I think that made it easier for everyone.  Now the little one is going to a different school from her sister.  She's bright, arty, and very shy.  I mean VERY shy.  And this is making me the typical worried mother.  Sooo don't know if anyone else is in this situation, I thought since I'd already been through this that I'd be fine, but as they say, every child is different.  

Oh honey ...
Yikes ... I sort of know what you are going through, I'm a major wreck about the twins and school and have been debating about posting a question here for help.

You know my fingers are crossed for you and your littlest moppet in particular  .
Holler if you need anything. (Don't know if I can do much more than reassure you, that you are not alone on the 'nuerotic mommy circuit' right now.)

Hang in there sweetie.

Crystal

Thanks Crystal,
I know what you mean, when my 5 year old started in January, I was a complete wreck.  When the older two started school I had no worries-I don't know why it seems to be getting more difficult as I go along.   Seems like it should be the opposite.  
Good luck with the twins starting,  are they going into reception? are they splitting them up or keeping them together?  Do they know anyone else who's starting?  
Wish I could say it gets easier, but that doesn't seem to be the case with me :-/

Mindy

Good luck with the twins starting,  are they going into reception? are they splitting them up or keeping them together?  Do they know anyone else who's starting?  

Okay here's the problem ....(this should probably be a different string but what the heck)
I don't know if I should be starting them at all. They turned 4 two weeks ago and by the rules they can start nursery ... however, I don't know if they're ready ...
There's two factors that worry me ... one they speak twin. Yes, twin. They developed a language between the two of them and they are speech delayed because of it. Their speech is coming along alot better now (more english - less twin) but they have the vocabulary of a 2/3 yr old ... certainly not a 4 yr old.
Then comes another factor - Ariel was delayed an entire year. She got to eat food through her mouth for the first time when she was 6 mos old. She had surgical tubes in her stomach until she was 11 mos old so she didn't even start to crawl until she was over 1 yr old. Her entire first year was in and out of hospitals. It's like she started really living and developing when she turned 1. All normal timelines for children couldn't be applied to her development at all.
Elora (the healthy twin) stopped doing things until her sister caught up with her ...she'd stop walking if Ari couldn't figure it out, talking until Ari spoke ...etc, etc. So over the years they've come an awful long way from where we started, but the fact is if you compare them to other kids they are closer to 3 yr olds than 4 yr olds.
I was told in the states to hold them back (but of course we go by grades not by age) and I still think another 6 mos working on language would be good for them. I have to sit down and talk with the headmaster and nursery school teacher about this. I don't want to start them too early and have them feel like they are being left out or worse, setting them up for failure.
I'd rather have my girls be the oldest kids in a class that are succeeding then the same age kids who are struggling.
As for seperation, that could get ugly (at least in the beginning.)
Elora gets very upset when Ariel isn't around. I know she needs to get used to it, but I wouldn't mind getting her in a position where she can communicate  for herself better before doing it.
The worst part of this whole thing, is I feel so overwhelmed starting from scratch. I knew the school systems in the states and the doctors who could help me make my decisions. I'm still trying to sort all this out right now. I don't want to do the wrong thing here ... we've worked to hard to get where we are. I also know alot of this is from my own personal fear as a mother who has worked so hard to protect these two over the years.
I didn't have these fears with Ian ..of course there was no medical history or developmental delays either. He was chomping at the bit to start school and all of us (including the dogs) we're happy to see him off on his newest adventure. We called him 'Tank' as a baby because he would roll right over anything in his way .. he was a 'non stop' little boy.
While other parents were crying over their babies starting school, I was slipping the teacher a $50 to run him extra hard at recess  
So this is a huge change for me ...... and I find myself worrying about this pretty regularly right now.
Ugh ...sorry it's so long. I just kind of blew up on your post  

Crys

Crystal,
I'm starting to feel like your stalker because this too I can really relate to.  The reason that I was unhappy about sendiing Molly (our 5 year old) to school and in fact kept her in nursury until January is because she  had a significant speech delay.  All of her developmental milestones were delayed and I have worried about her for the past five years.  We just got her school report which wasn't too great and  when I compare her to her sisters-(which I know I shouldn't).  Well you get the picture.  I did send her to full time nursery mainly because there was speech therapy attatched as well as special language groups.  I think you're right that the best thing to do is sit down with the head and discuss your concerns.  They'll probably want you to talk to the SENCO(special needs coodinator).  Hang in there and I'm here if you want to talk about any of this.  

Well your stalking me is the best news I've had all day.
I can't even begin to say how good it is to hear someone go 'me too' in this situation.
You'll be hearing from me ... Thank you.

Crys

Crystal,
The more I think about this, the more I think trust your instincts.  If this is making you really anxious and you feel they're not ready then what I would do is talk to the head teacher and SENCO.  I would also ask to see the nursery in action and talk to the teacher.  Ask if it's possible to make a compromise.  Perhaps part-time or starting at half term.  Tell them your concerns and see what advise they give.  If you're not happy with the school, remember that you can look at other schools and try to find one that is best for the girls.  But, really I think you'll feel better after you talk to the school.