What is the purpose of your visit...???

Hi All~

I'm not sure if I'm putting this question in the right part of the forum, hopefully I have.  Ok, I've been to the UK 3 times in the last 12 months, and am going again in about a month's time.  Everytime I've entered, I'm asked who I'm visiting, etc., and I've always just said a friend.  Last time (this summer) the control guy flipped through my passport and gave me the one over look before saying, "you've been coming here quite frequently lately...who are you visiting?  why?  how long?"  Now I know it's normal for them to ask, but it was completely different than my previous experiences going through the passport control....  So, should I say I'm visiting my boyfriend or just a friend?  I don't want them to think I'm trying to move to the country illegally.  I'm only coming for a visit, and when I do move over, I'll be doing it through the right channels with all the proper visas and paperwork.  Maybe I'm just really stressed, but I'm pretty nervous about getting asked badgering questions about my visit and them getting suspicious about me being there.....Any suggestions?

Hi Krissy,

I know about this well.  I've been living in London for 2 years (28 of this month).  I flew back and fourth quite a bit and was always asked that question.  I say take the "less is better" approach.  Just tell them that you're visiting friends.  Don't get freaked out about it and don't let it show on your face.  And most of all "DO NOT TELL THEM YOU ARE VISITING YOUR BF".  I cannot convey it strong enough.  I've never had a problem.  I have 9 stamps from the UK from the period of Dec. 2001 through April 2003.  I do have to say the last time I was checked I went through a massive Q&A session but it didn't matter 'cause I had my fiancee visa  .

Just be cool.  If they don't ask, don't tell.  And if they ask, remember "less is better".  Good luck to you.

Krissy, you are coming in on a tourist visa and therefore you are to be touring the UK. It's okay to stay with friends, but it's not okay to be coming in on a tourist visa to really spend time here with your bf. What you might want to do is plan on where you're going to be visiting and get some tour books of that area.

There's not a thing wrong with loving England and wanting to see it. Might even be nice if there was something arranged ahead of time...perhaps have tickets to see a pantomime. That way you can say "I'm coming to see a pantomime!"

(Pantomime is a farsical play they do during December and January, for the most part. Very popular and they do it in just about every town.)

Thanks so much for the advice.  I've never even mentioned that I'm dating the person I'm visiting, and I will definately not do so this time either. hehehe  They sure do have a way of making you uneasy, don't they?  Thanks again!

Thanks, Lisa...yeah I definately have ideas of places I want to visit this time, as I always love to see the castles, the plays, etc.  I'll look into getting some tickets for the plays you mentioned though.  I'm only staying for three weeks, so hopefully they won't get too suspicious ....but I'll get some tour books, etc. as well.  

Krissy, you are coming in on a tourist visa and therefore you are to be touring the UK. It's okay to stay with friends, but it's not okay to be coming in on a tourist visa to really spend time here with your bf.

I disagree with this.  If someone is coming over to visit someone, whether friend or boy/girlfriend, is not trying to move here on a tourist visa and only intend to stay for a short amount of time or any amount of time within the specified limits of the tourist visa, and is not looking for work then they are not technically or otherwise breaking any rules.  I cannot therefore see how it would be wrong to come visit on a tourist visa to spend time with someone.  If it were wrong then quite a few of us would have been in violation as quite a few of us spent many months, even years making trips to the UK to visit someone we loved.  

Hi Elle~

I was really surprised to hear that I was breaking the rules by coming to visit my boyfriend.  I always was under the impression that you were allowed to visit anyone while you were on a tourist visa...I was even allowed to study under a tourist visa in Germany because they go by the length of time you stay there (under German law that is).  It's a bit of a relief to hear that others agree that it's ok to visit loved ones under this visa...phew.

Hi Elle~

I was really surprised to hear that I was breaking the rules by coming to visit my boyfriend.  I always was under the impression that you were allowed to visit anyone while you were on a tourist visa...I was even allowed to study under a tourist visa in Germany because they go by the length of time you stay there (under German law that is).  It's a bit of a relief to hear that others agree that it's ok to visit loved ones under this visa...phew.

Please keep in mind though that I do agree with NYSOM in that "less is better".  I wouldn't say you were coming here to see a boyfriend because it would most definitely raise eyebrows and cause further questioning, especially given how many times you have come to the UK already in the past year.  I don't see anything wrong with Lisa's approach though and think that she has given you some excellent ideas that will help answer some tough questions in the event they happen.  Just be cautious and don't let any nervousness show!

Take Lelandperrin's experience as a cautionary tale, though.  (Look in "chit Chat" under the heading "A Sort of goodbye"...it's a page or two in.)
Granted, you've met your boyfriend, but still...I agree.  You're not doing anything illegal, but I wouldn't mention it's a boyfriend.  

I always said I was going to see my boyfriend (even when he was officially my fiance). I think its all up to you. To me that seemed closer to the truth than anything else. I didn't want to end up making an even bigger hole for myself to fall into.
I didn't have any problems...(I flew to the UK 5x last yr) not even when I spent the entire month of Aug in the UK. As long as you have proof of a return flight you should be fine. Do whatever you are comfortable w/.

take care...

I never encountered any problems but I did have a friend who was visiting her b/f quite a lot in the UK and a nice person at immigration (I guess they do exist) told her flat out that it was beginning to look suspicious with her frequent and long stays that even though she had a return flight, that was no guarantee she'd leave. [heck, when I finally emigrated I got a return flight ticket because it was less than half the price of a one way!] The person told her that she'd be best to stay away for at least a year in order to keep the alarms bells off of her.

But, of course, I wouldn't lie to the immigration people but don't offer any info either. Less is definitely more. When I applied to change my 6 month visa to 1 year one, I had a bit of a minor disaster when Royal Mail lost my application. Long story short, I wound up with 2 passports. The embassy in London told me to take both with me while I traveled but only present the current one at immigration and if questioned further present the second one. They told me that if I presented both at the same time, I'd seriously be scrutinized and could be in for more hassle than I needed.

Also it probably be a good idea to keep any diaries or personal letters at home as they have the right to read them if they have any suspicions that you are here to stay illegally. Just in case. I don't think you're doing anything wrong but you just need to make sure you don't draw unnecessary attention to yourself.

Ok, so I was hoping to come away from posting this question with no more uncertainty and reassured that I wouldn't be interrogated by the immigration people....but I feel even more nervous and upset now.  I know it's silly, but some of the comments have almost made me feel guilty or like I'm doing something wrong, which is completely ridiculous.  I've spent considerable time with my boyfriend both here and there, and we have a genuine relationship with plans of getting married in the next year or so.  I'm not trying to sneak into the country or going over just on some whim...and yet I feel...oh I don't know what I feel  :-/

Anyways, I just don't know what the right answer is....I deplore lying, but I also don't want to end up like Leland (yeah, that wasn't a good suggestion to tell me to look at his situation ).  Thanks for your advice...I'll take all the suggestions and ideas you shared into consideration.

If you have any more suggestions or personal experiences on this topic you'd like to share...please do, I'm all ears.

Oh, after rereading my last post (which was written out of fear and frustration), I've realized that it might be taken the wrong way.  I DO NOT mean to offend anyone in anyway whatsoever.  I really do appreciate all of the insights you've offered, it's been helpful, really.  So, if I've hurt anyone's feelings in any way, I apologize. :-/  Thanks again for your time and help!

 Just tell them that you're visiting friends.    

Oh MAN, does this bring back memories! I’m sitting here getting re- pi$$ed off! I would say the same thing, but this one time, the cheeky immigration officer asked the name and address of the friends and then asked “do the friends have a son”? I glared at her, and in by deep voice sternly said, “Yes, and so do I.”  Nothing more was asked and she stamped my passport. I fumed for a good couple hours. The grilling that some receive is beyond me. At the end of the day they have a job to do. If you can prove your ties to the US you will have no problems.

I am fully aware that this is a public forum, fully viewable by Immigration officials, and I'm afraid my thinly-veiled answer was taken a bit too literally. My intention was to make it clear that if you enter a country on a tourist visa, you are coming to visit. (Just as when you enter on a fiance visa, or a work visa or a wife visa or a student visa...whatever it is, you are asking for something you intend to carry out.) Therefore, if you enter on a tourist visa, be prepared to be expected to tour. Bringing up that you're staying with a boyfriend brings into the scenario a different reason. "Oh? Shouldn't you then be applying to come in for a fiance visa? But if you're coming to see a boyfriend, don't you intend to marry? Why are you here as a tourist, then?"

I was trying to have Krissy avoid that grilling. No, it isn't wrong to stay with a bf. I think NYSOM put it better than I and in more exacting words..."less information is better". But I wanted to add a back-up "I'm here as a tourist and I'm actually planning some fun things, want to hear about them? I'm all excited about this trip!" No mention of bf. Why is that important to bring up?

Sorry if I was so intentionally vague to have seemed misleading. I think a lot of us have similar experiences of coming in on a tourist visa and staying with our bf. (Heck, how do we know we'd even want to spend the rest of our lives together if we spent no time together?) I wouldn't want to go through all that grilling again and I would have come more prepared with a better "I'm touring" response had I known what they'd be asking me. I've been thorugh the grilling...would never want it again.

Again, please understand I am in full agreement with everyone here. But keep a clear head about the basic, very fundamental reason you are asking to come into the country. It's a Tourist Visa. Period. Comply with that and you've sailed through the process. That's all I was trying to say.


Edited to correct a typo...I'm sure there are others!