Moving in 25 days and never felt so alone....

I came here because I know you all have been here before...and I feel completely alone right now. I just gave notice to my office, I gave notice to my roommate a few weeks ago and in the past week my boyfriend has been freaking out.
I know it is stress and nerves but he is snapping at me all the time and just doesn't even want to talk to me. And now today, a few hours after I gave my office notice (of which no one was shocked) he said, "are you sure you want to do this?"
As if somehow after two and a half years of this distance and preparing for us to be together means nothing and I should just walk away.
Is he getting cold feet again? I am petrified to ask him...but when I do he says no, he is just stressed out. That I am giving up so much to be with him. What can I do?
I am freaked out to not speak with him, but part of me says to give him space.
Does this get better when you are finally together? I thought I had prepared myself for the last minute freak outs, but apparently I didn't.

Im sorry you are having such a stressful time.  (hug) I just left SF and had a really hard time leaving everyone.  Change is so scary, but without it, where would any of us be?  Just try to keep focused on what you need to do.  Everyone is so different, even in a similar situation.  Maybe he is scared once you get here you wont be happy.  Ive only been here for six days (!) but Rich has told me he knows I gave up so much to move here and be with him.  But I wouldnt have done it if I didnt want to.  Maybe giving him some space is good, but also talking about how you feel with him might be better?   

Woman are much more open than men and especially if they are stressed both Chris and I are but I am lucky we talk about things it makes it easier.

I gave up alot to be with Chris but he is giving far more by coming over here to be with me.

Do you have your visa in place you will both be ok once you are together its easier said than done but you have to be strong and look forward, maybe just write him a letter telling how much you love him.

He might be worried because you will only have him over here too.

Good luck

Men are strange creatures but hey we are harder to fathom so I have been told.

I can somewhat relate. I am supposed to go to my house today to pack everything up. I could be leaving as early as monday (IF they were to give me the visa that day which I really doubt) and my ex is moving with my son friday. My parents are very unsupportive of me moving. My entire family is really. I know it will be even harder waiting once my son has moved.. I will be feeling completely alone.

I would also say talk to your bf...I have a hard time opening up and saying how I am feeling, but I learned from my past mistakes that communication is really important.

I have noticed when we are about to see each other my fiance and I argue more. We both get tense and tired of the separation and frustrated because its so close to being over. This whole visa process is realy stressful tooand its hard to stay cheerful. Thats when its really the time you want to talk to each other.

Sorry I really meant for my post to be more cheery, Im just very tired at this point and know I have things I have to do and just want to crawl back into bed.

Just know youre definitely NOT alone, you have all of us We know what youre going through, there are a lof of us going through it now, a lot that have been there and done that...and there are those just beginning on their journey.

I agree with what sonya said, he could be worried about how you might like it over there, if you will make the transition easily or not etc...just be open with him and let him know you wouldnt be making the move if you werent ready.

Good luck to you, Im sure everything will be fine

Katrina

Is there any chance that he is worried about his ability to take care of you? Some guys will put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the macho breadwinner types and they fret about letting women down. Just a thought......

Hang in there! You're certainly not alone!

I think that his freaking out is three-fold. 1) he is concerned about me "giving up so much" to come over there...but I honestly couldn't imagine my life any other way. 2) he is concerned about $$, but I have been saving for two years for this and only plan on not working for the first year at most. 3) he is afraid I won't like it there. he describes life in UK as a harder life than what I have in the US. I don't quite understand what he means by that, but he says I will have to work harder in the UK for the same wages I made in the US. I personally can't imagine a harder life than the past 2 years of long distance.
All of this seems to overwhelm him and it is starting to overwhelm me. We aren't talking as much as we use to and everytime the phone rings I jump a mile. I tried to prepare myself for these weeks leading up to when I get on a plane, but somehow I didn't expect them to be this hard. Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement.

Well we had a talk this morning and now I have confirmation of all of the above. I think we are on the right track as long as he keeps the lines of communication going...he is trying to come over next weekend so we can spend some time together, which I think will help more than anything.

I understand how you feel totally. My fiance and I keep asking ourselves why we are arguing so much lately as we never have before and just by reading these posts I feel so much better! I gave notice at my job a few weeks ago, sold my car, all my furniture, I am giving up my beloved pet (too expensive and tramatic to take a bunny to the UK) and now I feel stuck in a weird place- don't belong here anymore yet UK is not quite home yet either. I am moving across the pond in less than 2 weeks (pending Visa approval) and for the last few weeks my fiance and I are getting on each other's nerves which does not help my situation in the slightest.
So don't feel alone! I am going through the same as you- I have a hard time expressing myself but my guy is fantastic on the way of communication- thank God. Makes me sit there on the phone until I lay out in detail exactly what I am worrying about now. haha
It's always something isn't it??
Feel free to write anytime, I think most of us on here have gone through or are going through the same emotions!Keep your chin up

Yes, I think a lot of people have gone through the same....that is why I come here, for some understanding.   

Things have improved in the past few days...we are back to talking about the future and how its going to be when I am there. I do feel in a state of flux. I want to be really happy. I have been one of those nomads my whole life. I've lived in SF, DC, Chicago, Iowa and now Boston...but there is something so unbelievably scary about moving to a foreign country. I'm about half way ready to go, I guess the next three weeks will be busy. I will be on a plane three weeks from now. It is so crazy.

Haha- yeah I feel like that too. It's a totally crazy and completely exhilirating feeling- although I know after about a month or two the homesickness will kick in and I will start to miss certain things about living in the US- like being able to shop at Walmart at 2:00 am (not that I do that now but it's the idea that I CAN) or having lunch on the beach with my girlfriends, pina colada's, the beach, American-style sushi, did I mention the beach yet??? haha

Haha- yeah I feel like that too. It's a totally crazy and completely exhilirating feeling- although I know after about a month or two the homesickness will kick in and I will start to miss certain things about living in the US- like being able to shop at Walmart at 2:00 am (not that I do that now but it's the idea that I CAN) or having lunch on the beach with my girlfriends, pina colada's, the beach, American-style sushi, did I mention the beach yet??? haha

But ... the UK has fantastic beaches!! Try them! I'm on the beach every single day in the summer here!

Where do you live LOL I am not so keen on some of the beaches but wales does have some beautiful ones some around the gower (wales) they are great water looks clean also.

Where do you live LOL I am not so keen on some of the beaches but wales does have some beautiful ones some around the gower (wales) they are great water looks clean also.

Yes, I'm in Wales -- in southwest Pembrokeshire. We have some gorgeous beaches here! All very clean!

If you're worried about cleanliness, check out: http://www.seasideawards.org.uk/

It tells you which beaches have been awarded a Blue Flag.

Think about this: there is no spot in the UK more than 100 miles from the sea. Really. When I first heard that, I sat down with a map and a string and worked it out for myself. It's true!


(You guys still holding up okay?)

Think about this: there is no spot in the UK more than 100 miles from the sea. Really. When I first heard that, I sat down with a map and a string and worked it out for myself. It's true!

I know...and we live in one of those 100 mile away spots