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Topic: Limboland of belonging  (Read 4427 times)

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Re: Limboland of belonging
« Reply #45 on: January 17, 2004, 08:50:15 PM »
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I would just like to thank Citrine and the others who shared so much of their feelings and experiences.  I havent visited this site much in the past couple of months(Holidays in Texas- whoohaa!!!!) and have posted even less- but this thread has been such a gift to read that I wanted to take the time to thank all of you for sharing!!

I've been here just about 2 1/2 years now and definitely agree with what Citrine wrote- it can be so hard, miserable, depressing- limbo is the perfect description.

Reading about sitting there watching other women "have fun" brought tears to my eyes.  the social isolation can be truly devastating. but I do think there is hope and just like anything difficult in life- valuable lessons can be learned and it can get better.  either we change or we change whats around us.

I hope that doesnt come across as dismissing anyone's pain- believe me I have been there and like someone else said, even these days I can have a horribly homesick "I wanna get out of here" mood swing- usually these are triggered by boiler problems or someone referring to me as a "fuckin' american"  

GOD BLESS all of those who can honeslty say they've never been treated differently for being American- it sucks big time- and its very hard to just "grin" and bear it!

of course- this shouldn't be considered lightly but having a baby did wonders for my social circle- from muisic groups to baby swimclass to countless mommy group teas and coffees-  I can now say for the first time I am making friends instead of friendly aquaintances.

ok- 8 month old on the loose- atleast she cant get far in this tiny flat!!

hey to all!
mary


: )
After having my last babe here I think I felt even more lost. LOL
I wasn't feeding right, diapering right, letting sleep right etc etc..  All from the lovely advice of the grand poobah (also known as mother in law)
Unfortunately, we did not live close to any sort of social hub either.  I think after having my Britty babe I felt even more of a limbolander.
Funny enough, my little son just told me the other day that he didnt know where he fit in.  (He is 11)
Sometimes I find him crying over his old baseball trophys, and friends pictures....sometimes I find him in fits of laughter with his new buddies playing football.  He misses his Grandma, yet he loves his new grandparents....and so the list goes on.
Luckily my other 2 daughters have no memory of the US.  
They are at home here.  Worrying so much about myself Id never stopped to consider that our kids can be living in Jr Limboland too.  I guess they just adjust better, and faster.
:)



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Re: Limboland of belonging
« Reply #46 on: January 30, 2004, 03:47:11 PM »
I am one of those lucky adaptable people, I guess.  But I do have a few problems when travelling back and forth that drive me a bit mad for awhile.  When I go to the states I hate that I am now a mere observer and that things are going along just fine without me.  For the first few days I am wishing I was back in England where I am comfortable now.  My friends all have their lives over in the States and my parents have changed the house around and I am no longer a part of it all.  It takes me a few days to get comfy being there again and then by that time I am getting on a plane again.  It's always enough time to get comfy and really sad when I have to leave it.  Then when I get back here in England it feels weird again with my boyfriend for a few days till I adapt to here again.  I just wish that part was easier, but what can I do really.  It's the way things are now.  

But as far as being here in England...  I love it, I definitely think of it as my home.  I would never tell my Mom that though because she is still hoping and praying that I will come back to the US permanently.  Bless her.  

If you're not comfy here after giving it enough time I would find any way necessary to get to a place where you think you will be happy.  

Good luck to all having these sort of issues.  It's not easy for a lot of people to pick up your life and move to another country.  Be proud of yourselves for doing it, I don't know a lot of people that could.   ;D


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