it's over ...I am going home

thanks again to everyone...

we got the ticket changed to 10 April...2 wks today. I was really hoping to go sooner, to avoid suffering any longer than absolutely necessary.

I want this to be over. Not to be away from him, but to get my life back to some semblance of "normalcy".  I feel so out of control right now.

Sorry to hear things haven't worked out better. Maybe I'm getting you mixed up with someone else, but you met him after you got here, didn't you? ie, he wasn't the reason you came to the uk? I thought you were staying 6 months and trying to find a way to make it more permanent, like a work visa. I wouldn't let a failed relationship deter you, why can't you stay on anyway as you'd planned before you got together with him?

hey Britwife you are right, I did meet him while here. The trouble is, I extended my ticket just to have more time to be with him, and had to move in with him because my orig hostess had only agreed to a set amt of time.
But it's okay...I really think some time apart is what we both need right now.
I honestly (well, I think) understand where he is coming from. He was looking for a girlfriend, someone to build towards a long term life with...but he was not ready to take the plunge to living together this quickly, and it bothers him that I am not able to support myself here, etc.
So, I am going back to the States to work on building my career, etc.
I think if it is meant to be, if we both miss each other as much as I think we will, and continue communicating without all the pressures of fitting our daily lives together...then maybe at some point we will decide to give it another go.
And if we aren't right for each other, then that will also become clear, and we will drift apart.

I still want to live here, at least half the year (the warmer half!). There is so much I didn't get to see and do on this trip. So, I will be back eventually whether or not it is to live with him!