Cooking disasters

Got any kitchen nightmares you want to share?

Once I made some chocolate brownies. When I took them out of the oven they looked absolutely perfect.  Everyone was salivating waiting for them to cool down then we tasted them. Urgh!! I had used bicarbinate of soda instead of baking powder and they tasted foul!

Another time a flatmate of mine was whipping some cream using one of those tupperware shaker things (the thing that looks like a plastic cocktail shaker) ... you can probably guess what happened ... yes the lid wasn't on properly and she, I and the kitchen got covered in cream. We were still finding bits of it weeks later.

How about tonight? 

I decide to have a bit of pasta. Put it in boiling water. Guess it was not enough water, because it all evaporated, and the pasta was burnt on to the pot.

I ate it anyhoo    A little black, but not bad.

My MIL came down from Glasgow to visit us for the first time in our new house when we were living in London.   It was a gorgeous summer evening and i decided to barbecue chicken on the grill outside...  i knew this would be a lovely treat for MIL cos she'd never had a proper (outdoor, with coals and smoke, etc) barbecue before.

I considered myself a decent barbecuer, but had only ever done burgers and steaks before... never chicken.   I didnt know that you have to partially cook the chicken before putting it on the grill.

Yep... that's right.  I served up chicken that was lovely and golden brown with black chargrill stripes on the outside, and raw and bloody on the inside.

Verrrrrry impressive...  

We ended up getting a takeaway pizza, but it turns out she was thrilled with that, cos my weird FIL wouldnt have allowed it in their home!

That poor woman has still never had a proper barbecue meal!

The first meal I ever cooked for my bf's mother. I made a beautiful chicken pot pie -- absolutely perfect! Or so I thought until she pulled out a long brown hair! 

I got one of those Jamie Oliver shakey grinder thingies......and decided to make chili with it...did the spices and all
then decided to do the garlic cloves in it......2 wasn't enuf I thought..so added another one..

when it was done it was horrible......caitie sat over on the settee crying and saying it was really bad!

and david usually LOVES my cooking.......could only manage a few bits....said it could be used as wall paper stripper....

I on the other had bravely ate it......and had gut ache the rest of the night.......

worse thing I have EVER made EVER!

so we went to McD's instead.......

First time I cooked pork chops...I was around 12 years old.  Mom told me to make sure that they were fully cooked.  They were fully cooked alright-no meat left on them at all! 

I was participating in a "Secret Santa" gift exchange at work and made a chocolate cake from a mix for my 'victim.' The oil must have been rancid because it was absolutely disgusting. I had a piece in front of her and made a big deal about how horrible it was, all the while dying of embarrasment knowing that I had made it! That night, I made a new one with fresh oil and the next day, revealed that I was the one that nearly poisoned her!

My first thanksgiving here and decided to cook for all my flatmates  before everyone went off for Christmas holidays. I went to iceland and got that meal deal : Turkey , brussel sprouts , pie , roast potatoes and something else all for a fiver. So I got that ...roasted the turkey and done the veg as specified. Anyway my flatmates were there and at that time there was a new girl in the flat that was English and most of the guys in the flat were keen on her.. She was snippy as hell....so we are all at the table everyone is enjoying the meal ..I'm scoring points on my cooking skills. At that time Phil and I were not dating but flirting though...anyway that snippy Brit girl jumps up and says

"I FOUND A FECKING MAGGOT IN MY FOOD!"
had a look at her bit of turkey we couldn't really tell what it was really  
everyone jumped back the guys consoled this girlie ..... it took a couple of weeks a coq au vin and a lasagna to recover  

Eh just last week I spent all evening cooking for Easter- wanted to make my pierogis (second time on my own).  Spent all this time making the dough properly, peeling and cooking potatoes, even made my very own cheese since I couldn't find the cheese earlier.  So I make a ton of them - lovely- and had read to keep a damp cloth over them so they don't dry out.  Thought, well, I will sprinkle some water on them.  Ohhhhh stupid - they stuck together, the dough got all soggy, and they tore apart.  I was seriously  :\\\'( - DH was all like, it's fine, don't worry.  We salvaged enough of them but my lovely homemade cheese ones were all RUINED.....

I saw a delicious looking recipe online for 'hamburger gravy'... sounded like good comfort food!
So i bought the ingredients and made it... i followed the quantities for all the spices/seasonings to the letter.  But the one 'quantity' i didnt look at was the minced beef.  I guess i sort of assumed we'd be talking about a pound of mince.... but the recipe was actually for 3 pounds of mince!

So the quantities of seasoning (including celery salt) were meant to go with 3 pounds of meat, and i only used 1 pound of meat.  It was so salty that no one would eat it... not even the dog! (he ate a few bites, then walked away to drink some water!)

I saw a delicious looking recipe online for 'hamburger gravy'... sounded like good comfort food!
So i bought the ingredients and made it... i followed the quantities for all the spices/seasonings to the letter.  But the one 'quantity' i didnt look at was the minced beef.  I guess i sort of assumed we'd be talking about a pound of mince.... but the recipe was actually for 3 pounds of mince!

So the quantities of seasoning (including celery salt) were meant to go with 3 pounds of meat, and i only used 1 pound of meat.  It was so salty that no one would eat it... not even the dog! (he ate a few bites, then walked away to drink some water!)

OMG.......that is as funny as my chili!

I make hamburger gravy or as mommy used to call it...... SOS.......

I'd like to try it again sometime, cos it did sound nice... but i reckon DH would turn his nose up after the first experience!

Back when I was with my ex-husbeast, MIL came over for Thanksgiving. I wanted to make a big dinner to show her that I don't need her help (she was like the MIL from Everyone Loves Raymond) ..anyway,since it was my first time cooking Thanksgiving dinner, I forgot to take the bag of junk out of the turkey before I cooked it I never heard the end of that one......

you should have said it was a french recipe and the bag was a bouquet garni!!

Back when I was with my ex-husbeast, MIL came over for Thanksgiving. I wanted to make a big dinner to show her that I don't need her help (she was like the MIL from Everyone Loves Raymond) ..anyway,since it was my first time cooking Thanksgiving dinner, I forgot to take the bag of junk out of the turkey before I cooked it I never heard the end of that one......

Don't feel bad Carly I did that with my first ever turkey as well!