having a tough few days missing bf

I am having a much harder time than I thought dealing with being apart from bf right now.
He has sent some very sweet emails, we had our webcam phone call, he rang me again today... I have finally really started missing him.
And at the same time, am feeling very discouraged because it's hard not knowing when we will get to be together again, and even then it will prob only be for 2 wks before another long separation.
I thought I would be okay with that. I was doing pretty well, getting on with career goals and such...

But the past several days have been exceptionally hard
I want to feel his arms around me, I want to wake up beside him again, I want to share our special routines.

Please help me get thru this rough patch.
Thanks

You'll get through it.  Try and stay busy..  You find it will go in waves.

You find it will go in waves.

It definitely does go in waves!  You're lucky to be able to see each other on your webcams and phone calls are always so nice   It is hard, but keep posting on here and we'll definitely help you survive until you see your sweetie again!

Cheers! 

You'll get through it.  Try and stay busy..  You find it will go in waves.

Stay busy!  Very good advice.

I'm sure people here will give you all the support you need.   Good Luck 

It definitely does go in waves!

So, so true.  Have a pity party for yourself every once in a while, then get up and get on with life.  Since my husband left I've also tried to structure my days a little more, that seems to help too.  That way I'm not sitting around doing nothing for very long.

Try to keep your mind occupied the best you can.  I try to keep myself very busy.  I'm trying not to focus on the missing and focus on making the adjustments in my life that will allow us to be together permanently. 

Don't get me wrong - I burst into tears randomly because something reminds me of him.  This morning it was an Englishman in the coffee shop talking about the Premiership?!  I thought, how odd? (I'm in the US too).  I take a deep breath and try to focus on something else.  Like the fact that I'm standing in a coffee shop and can't cry!

Also - when we do speak, I really try not to talk about how much I miss him.  We really try to keep conversations happy and light.  If I get sad, he usually says something cheeky to make me laugh. 

Hope you feel better soon!  I have found GREAT comfort in this site...it's a wonderful source of information, support and entertainment!

Keeping busy helps, and find things to do for yourself, a little pampering never hurt anyone.  It's hard and there were times that i thought i'd never get through it, but i did and so will you.  I'd be fine and then have days at a time where i cried constantly.  An LDR is a very tough road to walk down, but in the end it is so worth it. 

thanks everyone for the support and encouragement...

I am trying to keep busy
But I too have been finding reminders everywhere!

Last night I felt so guilty because he rang me while we were shopping in a very busy WalMart and it was impossible to devote my full attention to him while pushing the cart after my roomies as they piled cat food and drinks in it! I apologized to him several times but still felt like a $hit (pardon my language)...

It hasn't helped that he's been letting on he actually misses me more and more now. I was having an easier go of it when he was a bit distant.  Now I'm a wreck!

And I sprnt the  day w/a girl I know from another msg board whose family is from the UK and she's just come over from York for 2 wks.
We had tea and chatted and just hearing her accent made me want to jump on the next flight back!


I know I'll be okay and this will probably pass soon but...I needed to vent

Up tea,

I like to call the waves you are feeling the Ebb and Flow.  I posted about this before, but I go through this all the time.  I go through the nights when I can get through without a problem.  I can get my things ready for the move and I can plan the wedding and everything is well... fantastic.  Then there are nights I can't move, everything in me aches for him and it is pure hell, everything starts to weigh on me ie. finances, my car, the dog, my family and finanaces (oops did I mention that?)

I find it completly normal.  I try and allow myself a good cry, or I post here, or I call df and cry to anyone who will listen (ie my future in laws which ever victim picks up the phone first).  This is normal and you need to allow yourself this time to figure out what you truly want and what will truly make you happy.  I have read your previous posts and I just want you to know I am here if you need anyone to talk to, as well as a lot of other people on this forum.

Don't feel crazy tonight I had a sob fest reading a story about ghosts in a book my mother found and the A12 was mentioned and I was excited and then I cried because of the A12 (special memories made on that road, personal joke). 

I guess through all my ramblings what I am really trying to say is I know a little about  what you are going through and I am here to talk.

Now off to sob (this is the Ebb part I hate the Ebb Part)

I can't think of anything to add that hasn't been said.  I just wanted to post my support...  Don't be too hard on yourself. 

When I read your post about Walmart, it made me think of last night.  Normally the only time Sam and I get to talk is on the weekend.  However this weekend we are both very busy so doesn't look good for a chat.  Yesterday at work was absolutely crazy busy, and I was so mentally tired when I got home.  Even though last night was probably all that we would get to talk...I just couldn't.  We talked for a bit but then I couldn't anymore.  I felt so bad!

Anyway, keep us posted...remember almost everyone on this board has travelled, or is on, the road you are on now. 

(((zeusy)))
thank you sweetie, yes we seem to be in a similar space right now (ebb~ing).
What  I am wishing for most is just knowing when I will see him again. We are both in the midst of trying to get better jobs, start careers, etc. If I knew when the physical gap btwn us was closing (even temporarily) it'd be much easier. But we are waiting til things stabilize and we are both able to save again.
the not knowing is hard

I'm a little better today than when I first posted this, thankfully.

Take care, and thanks again everyone.


(((Kat))) just saw your post as I was getting ready to send this
thanks for dropping in
good luck to you, too, getting thru this hard time

Looking back, it's been about 3 weeks since you've been here in the US again?

I don't know if this is necessarily true for everyone, but speaking from my own feelings and for other friends of mine who have been in LDRs, they say that around 3 weeks the absence of the other person really starts to set in.  I remember having a tough time 3-4 weeks after my guy's departure.  The mood lifted as the holiday season got into full swing.

I guess the way it worked for me was the first week I had to get used to the absence, the second week I got busy with things, and by the third week I was a bit stressed from having thrown myself into things and a low point hit and I had to return to pacing myself.

I don't really have any advice different from what other posters here have offered...just keep communicating with your guy, it's ok to tell each other how much you miss one another (one thing that in my situation we really didn't talk about until it was too late), so that you can plan for a reunion/trip/meeting that you will feel good about.  Since this relationship does seem to be important to you both, one of you may just have to bite the bullet and make the hop across the pond, schedules and expenses aside.  Perhaps having a timeline towards your next meeting would help, and just make up your minds, that is when it will be.

*HUGS*

I don't have any other advice except what has already been posted, but wanted to give my support also.

FOr the last year, me and my fiance have been doing long distance (im in the UK, he's in Indiana) and we get to see each other for a week every 3 months....all I can say is that it gets a bit easier each time. Not the goodbyes, but the coping with the separation. I was a nightmare to live with a first because I was constantly fed-up and crying. And the time difference I think is also a factor, I would find myself getting mad at him because he would call me just as I was going to bed...so I understand about you feeling bad about the phone call, but don't feel bad, we all go through those stages.

This kind of long distance is never going to be easy, but you have to remind yourself that the fact you both are willing to do the long distance thing proves that your relationship has to be something pretty fantastic in the first place, and that it will only make it stronger having to be apart.

I'm sorry I don't have any better advice. I've been doing this for almost a year now, and it does get easier, although there's always going to be up and downs.

around 3 weeks the absence of the other person really starts to set in.

the first week I had to get used to the absence, the second week I got busy with things, and by the third week I was a bit stressed from having thrown myself into things and a low point hit and I had to return to pacing myself.

I don't really have any advice different from what other posters here have offered...just keep communicating with your guy, it's ok to tell each other how much you miss one another (one thing that in my situation we really didn't talk about until it was too late), so that you can plan for a reunion/trip/meeting that you will feel good about.  Since this relationship does seem to be important to you both, one of you may just have to bite the bullet and make the hop across the pond, schedules and expenses aside.  Perhaps having a timeline towards your next meeting would help, and just make up your minds, that is when it will be.

*HUGS*

Yep, that pretty much sounds like the way it has gone.
It will be 4 wks Monday night that I got back.
The first week I spent catching up with everyone, the second week I was thrilled to be taking so many steps toward my art career, the third I felt like I'd really overdone it, and now I'm fairly bummed and also not feeling well physically...
 

I would really like to feel that it's okay to start planning our next visit but it really isn't practical. Neither one of us can afford it yet.
And we agreed we wanted to be financially stable so things aren't so stressed next time.
I applied for a job yesterday which I have a feeling I might get...so maybe after I've worked a few wks, since I don't have to pay rent, we can start talking about it.
But for now...it's just a matter of waiting.

I am thankful he has been writing and calling more and more. At least I know he is missing me, too. Although knowing this then makes me start to cry!!!
Why does it have to be so complicated?!?

Hopefully this low point will pass in a few days.

Thanks for listening and responding "y'all"

Sorry I am behind in reading posts here, but just wanted to say I hope your feeling a bit better every day. It's hard, but there are ups and downs as with everything. I think you have been given some good advice here and hope the support has made things a bit more bearable for you.  Hang in there!