long distance "spats"?

like I said above, fighting to me has no place in a healthy relationship
minor disagreements, sure...
but not fights

My parents have had fights all through their 42 year marriage.  So did their parents - married till one partner died, 45 years and 62 years respectively. 

I agree w/Andrea, sometimes it's better to get things out in the open.

It's not the fight that's the issue, it's that at the core maybe you two want different things out of life perhaps?

I think it's normal to disagree with a partner but I don't know if you mean the word fighting to be physical or highly enraged.  To me, a fight IS a disagreement and something physical is domestic violence.  Learning to settled disagreements is an important part of relationships. 

Healthy relationships don't have the kinds of problems you've discussed in the last few months.  It's work but it's not THAT much work when it's with the right person.  I agree with EVERY WORD jklm told you in this thread and the other one about your relationship.  Put a nail in this one and walk away.  You deserve more than someone who demands you to make all the sacrifices.