Well. . . Ouch. . . .

"Under review?"  <coughs uncontrollably, sputtering CRAP RESPONSE>  I hope he is respectful of you and will eventually tell you what led him to the decision.  Best of luck!

I second this sentiment. You are a person with feelings who obviously is willing to work it through with him; I only hope that he treats you with the respect and consideration that you deserve. I hope it all works out well for you! *hugs*

I'm going to echo what the others have said..."under review"??  *gags*

It's hard to know from black and white words on a screen what he really means, if he has intentions better than what that phrase conveys, but it sounds to me like an easy way out for him where he doesn't have to look too much like the bad guy.  The thing I'd hate to hear from him, after saying the situation was "under review", was that "Well, I tried", while you're still left hanging and wondering, and hurt.

Really I hope you all can work this out.  But guard your heart.  Is there any way possible that you all could see each other face-to-face soon?

..under review?!!! 

OK, it's only MO but why should you sit around waiting for HIS decision?  I would tell him to piss off.  No one should feel at the mercy of another human being. You are better than that.  It may be painful, but why should you bend your life around someone who tells you that your relationship is  "under review".  You are worth more and deserve more than a job description.   Stand up for yourself!  If you really mean something to him, then he'll be back.  But it will be on your terms!

It is hard to really judge anyone because we don't really know a lot about your relationship, but in this case an exception can be made I think.

First he does not have the sense, respect or balls to call you and discuss this with you and instead sends you an email?!! And then says it is "under review"?!!

It has to be hard to get an email like that, out of the blue from your love.

You deserve so much better than to be treated like that. It is very insensitive of him to expect you to just hang there until he decides which direction he wants to take. I would tell him to call you when he decides you are who he wants. Also, that you may or not be available when he calls because you are not going to wait on him to live your life.

I had a guy do this to me, put me on hold while he decided if I was what he wanted. Not the same because you are in a long distance and I cannot imagine how hard one of those are. I decided I could either wait until he decided which direction my life was going to go or I could decide. Needless to say once I distanced myself a bit from him I saw that I did deserve someone who wanted to be with me unconditionally. Once I got that through my head I decided maybe he wasn't the best one for me after all. I don't know why but he came a runnin' when I broke the news to him that I was not going to be waiting in the wings while he decided to be with me.

Only you can decide what is best. I can understand if someone is sincere and scared about a relationship with so much distance between you. But from what you wrote, it does not sound that way, more like if it is worth his time and energy.

I am so sorry and hope everything works out for your best interest.

Okay, I am going to come in (because I am sooo bored at work today) and play Devil's Advocate a little...

He is missing you as much as you are missing him.  This is all as hard for him as it is for you, and anyone who has been in a long distance relationship has, at one point or another wondered if they were doing the right thing and if they could cope with the heartache.  There are threads on this board from ladies wondering if they should cut their losses, despite the fact that they love their boyfriends, simply because they didn't know when they would be together again and because they thought that perhaps the heartache would be less if they just called the whole thing off.  This is a perfectly reasonable attitude to have, and it could be where your boyfriend is coming from.  Yes, he has been insensitive in the extreme in the language he has used, but we all make mistakes when we are upset.

Perhaps he is worth giving the benefit of the doubt, but I do think you need to talk, on a phone, and not just do this by e-mail, as so much can be misunderstood when you can't hear the tone of someone's voice.

I hope it all works out.

Vicky

(skuttles back to immigration boards where she belongs...)

AWWW Vicky - you belong everwhere!

I have to agree that "under review" were harsh words but again over email.  Let's remember boys don't do feelings as well as ladies. So, I agree with Vicky, give him the benefit of the doubt and wait until to you speak to him.  I know you said that his only form of communication is email right now - so maybe take a few days off.  When you do get to speak to him, just tell him how this hurt your feelings, because it did.  Be honest with him in your wants, needs and expectations in this relationship and if you don't agree on them then you can make the decision to move on.

I do hope it all works out the way you want it to.
meka

Oh, no, ladies!!!
He didn't write the words "under review"!!! That was just my translation of his. . . "Man-speak"
He apologized for being painful- and said he needed a day or so to think some things through. . . . Which is reasonable.
BUT knowing him- he's analytical, and I feel like I've been put under review.
(If he had said anything along those lines I would have flown out to smack him personally, and dealt with the bill later)
It's a lot to think about. . . . and I suppose in some sense it's good that he's panicked, becasue it means he cares enough to be worried about the time/distance/difficulties. . . . (Or he's a total louse and is using that as an excuse. . . but. . . . *Shrugs* I REALLY don't want to think that poorly of him. . . yet)
So- I'm biding my time. . . . Sitting on my hands. . . . Biting back screams of impotent frustration. . . . 
Sorry for the confusion, and thanks for the support. . . .

0o0o0o! good I'm so glad he didn't say that to you!!

that makes me feel a lot better as well!  I just couldn't imagine if he'd actually said that!   

I feel really bad it came off like that. . . 
Just me trying to make sense of it all. . .

I feel really bad it came off like that. . . 
Just me trying to make sense of it all. . .

no worries... I had a guy say something like "the jury's still out"  wtf? I can't remember the exact phrase, but it was my translation of his "man-speak"

I grew up with all girls/ women. . .
Guys are WIERD critters. 

I grew up with all girls/ women. . .
Guys are WIERD critters. 

Me too!  I totally agree.. 

Guys are completely different creatures and I wouldn't have been surprised if one of them said something like "under review," but I'm glad that he didn't!  Hope it resolves itself soon 

So- I'm biding my time. . . . Sitting on my hands. . . . Biting back screams of impotent frustration. . . . 

I'm really sorry you are in this situation - it is very painful.  Still think you should let him go (IMO - and it is just MO).  No one person should have that much control over another.  You can't change him but you can change how YOU react to him.  If he really does love you, he'll be coming back to you on your terms.  But at least then, you aren't sitting on your hands in impotent frustration.  That statement alone speaks volumes. Yes feeling frustration, but impotent - you should never, ever be.