Very, very baaad situation...

WARNING: This post is kind of long. I thank anyone in advance who reads all the way through it.

Hey everyone. I'm new here, and I desperately need some answers. I did a search on Google and was lucky enough to find this site and so far it's been helpful, but my predicament is a little ... different.

My name is Elise, I'm 22 years old and I've lived in Michigan all my life. My boyfriend, Mike, lives in Derby, England and we met in September of 2000, we were both 16 (Yes, we did meet online.  ), and pretty much since then he'd been trying to come over to see me. The first time he made it was around 2003 I believe, but he only stayed a week. After that he attempted to apply for citizenship or a work visa so that he could live with me in the U.S.

Yeah, so, that failed! He's apparently been detained numerous times. But anyway, just last June he made it in as a visitor! But not wanting to be separated from me he overstayed his visa. So we somehow thought that he could take me back to the U. K. with him and get it all sorted out over there. We logged on to Travelocity, he got a one way ticket and I got one for 6 months. We took an journey on a Greyhound but from Michigan to New York, then flew from JFK to Heathrow.

So, we figure we're almost there! And after this miserable journey I'll finally be able to meet his family, have a decent meal, take a bath and get some rest ... but when the woman started asking me questions I choked. Mike and I had previously had a conversation about what I should say. He told me that if they asked me if I was traveling alone I should say yes because if I said I was with him the fact that he'd overstayed his visa might influence whether they let me through. He said everything else should be fine and they shouldn't ask me much more than that.

So I told them I was traveling alone. They found it odd that I was coming to England for 6 months unemployed (I'd quit my job to come over) and little money. So they handed me a detainee slip and told me to go sit down. Needless to say I started bawling, and I think Mike felt bad that I was so upset, so he went and told them everything, or something like that. So then this extremely mean, rude, evil, evil, evil woman interviewed the both of us separately. After interviewing Mike they told him he could tell me goodbye and that he loved me but told him to not say another word to me, then they sent him back home. The evil woman went away for a while and came back with papers stating that I was to be sent back to New York.

I'd never traveled on my own before, I was scared to death, and the fact was, I am from Michigan NOT New York. So I begged and pleaded with this woman and asked her if there was anything I could do or if there was someone I could talk to and she refused to help me. I'm almost convinced this woman was having fun destroying my life. But luckily, I had an Aunt in New York, so I stayed with her a few days, then my Dad bought me a flight back home.

So now I'm back in Michigan with no job, and no Mike. The plan now is to apply for a fiance visa, but I don't know how much this will effect our chances of being approved. I thought it would be best to be completely honest and explain how desperate we are to be together, and maybe even send the papers along with everything else, but I'm not sure. I'd go apply in person the nearest place for that is in Chicago, and I don't know how I'd get there. Also I'd like to hire a lawyer or something but I can't afford that.

Mike recently found a job, and is working on getting a place. I've noticed a lot of people said that they sent their bank statements along with those of their partner, but most of mine have been thrown out, and my last job was only part time minimum wage. Would just Mikes statements be enough?

Basically we've made a huge mess of everything, and I have no clue what to do or what our chances are. Please help!  :\\\'(

Thanks,
Elise

Well I guess you learned the hard way that it's not good to try to skirt the system. Immigration on both sides of the pond know what to look for.

You could try for the marriage visa and be prepared for a tough road.

You should also address your problem with traveling alone - or not knowing how to get to Chicago.  If you want to move to another country - you should try to at least get to Chicago on your own first....one step at a time. 

Good Luck

First off, welcome to UKY - somebody here will probably be able to offer you some helpful advice.  Hindsight being 20/20, I'm sure you can see now that you guys made some bad choices.  I think you might need some help w/terminology.  You ask about a marriage visa...are you meaning a visa AFTER you two are already married (i.e., a spousal visa), or one before you marry (a fiancee visa).  Do you mean for you to live in the UK, or for him to live in the US?  (I think you'll find it's probably easier for you to live in the UK.)  Just take it all one step at a time.

Also, I understand that you are upset that things didn't work out as you'd planned, but referring to the entry clearance officer as a "mean, rude, evil, evil, evil woman" who was having fun destroying your life isn't likely to help you any.  She may not have been friendly, but truth be told she was doing her job.  I probably wouldn't have let you in either given the set of circumstances you describe.  Not because I'm evil or getting a kick out of ruining your life, but because you didn't prove that you were indeed entering as a visitor, that you intended to leave the country at the end of your stay, and that you had sufficient means to support yourself w/out working (which would have been illegal) and without recourse to public funds.

Good luck getting things worked out!  As icicle said, take it all one step at a time.   

Thank you for welcoming me. Sorry, I did mean fiancee visa. I just tweaked that part of my post.

Yeah, I know it doesn't just come down to her being nasty or anything. I guess I was just letting off steam.

Thanks for your help. 

Ok, thanks for clarifying that.  I'm actually a dual citizen, so didn't have to apply for a visa for myself, but there are a number of folks here who have applied for fiance/fiancee visas and should be able to help.  One thing to note, though...as a fiancee you are not able to work, so I believe your finances will probably be scrutinized pretty closely.  Be sure you've got all that in order.  I'd definitely recommend finding yourself a job right away, squirrel away as much money as you can, and save bank statements, etc.  You may also need to find a co-sponsor...basically someone who is willing to say that they will help you out financially if needs be.  They will likely need to supply their own financial information when you apply for your visa.  A lot of people use their parents or their significant other's parents as co-sponsors.

So sorry to hear you are so desparate to be with your brit bf.  Just think before you jump to the fiance or marriage visa - going all the way to marriage would be a BIG step at this stage. If money is an issue, any way your parents or his would step in and help you two out? You can be sponsored by his parents to come over to England - they just have to write a letter stating they would support you if necessary (there's more on that if u do a search on here).  Beyond that, you can meet in another country together such as Mexico or the caribbean for a holiday or even Canada to get to spend some time together. You can find cheap places to stay and that would be legal if all else fails this might be an option (esp since you're in Michigan and close to Canada).

I really do sympathize   and hope you two find a way to be together. Be patient - read as much as you can and follow the rules precisely. As you have found, they are well trained to discover these situations. Unfortunately, overstaying was a big mistake and may mean that it is that much harder to be together. There will be a way, have hope and meanwhile - travel a bit with friends or on your own so you are more confident with it.  

Travel on your own becomes a way of life for most expats since your spouse cannot always go with you when you want to go home to visit. I'm going home in just 10 days (yeah!!!) for a two week visit and my fiance isn't comign with me. I frequently had to travel solo to come visit him while dating. Also, think about life over here as you will be facing a huge culture shock (believe it or not, it is different) and you will need to be well prepared for how lonely it can be in a foreign country.

On a sidenote, my mom's family is from Michigan Richmond (not far from Flint) to be exact, my cousins still live there.

Basically we've made a huge mess of everything, and I have no clue what to do or what our chances are. Please help!  :\\\'(

Sorry for all the trouble.  Fiancee visa is your best bet at this point.  You are likely going to have a lot of hoops to jump through because of your denial for entry.

You are going to have a much harder time getting Mike into the US, period, because of his previous refusals.  At least there is hope with the UK.  The problem is that things like this take a) time and b) money.  The best thing to do is be patient and realize that people aren't really out to destroy your life. They are just trying to do their job.

Realize also the reason you most likely were being denied entry was because you were attempting to come in as a visitor when in fact you had some other purpose in mind, that being staying with your partner/fiancee.

So, take a deep breath and get ready to go through the paces.  As you noted there is a lot of good information about what to send with your application.  The biggest thing is they want to know that you will not end up on public funds by moving to the UK.  There are no hard and fast rules in that, but being a fairly young couple you will need to prove things out.  Is there any chance that his parents would be willing to provide support and accomidation if you end up in a bad situation?  That by far is going to be your best bet.  If not, then you will need every piece of information you can that will support your financial stability.

You are going to end up most likely having to go through an interview after you submit your paperwork.  That is going to take 2-3 weeks for all the stuff to go through, pull the information about why you were denied entry, etc.  Obviously being honest, and explaining that you just didn't understand the process, made a mistake and you are going about the right way now will work in your best effort.

At the very least, realize that the people in this forum will be here to help support you too...  We are all at some stage in the process or have people we care about going through the process.  You aren't the first people to have these problems and you won't be the last.  And I repeat, best thing to do it take a deep breath and relax.  It will work out one way or another and now you are on the right track.

Is there any chance that his parents would be willing to provide support and accomidation if you end up in a bad situation?

Yeah, his parents have stated that they would help us out and even offered to write us a letter to send with the application.

As far as finding another job, that may be a bit difficult, especially given the current economic situation in this state.  I'll try though.

We'd like to have this done as soon as possible, but I guess being realistic about it, it could take a while, huh?

Hi, this is the Mike mentioned in Elises post. Thanks for everyones help. I'm actually quite positive, my parents are offering their complete support and all my family are willing to do everything they can to help, I'm hopefully going to start work very soon, and despite our previous setback I think we have a good case. It seemed bad to me at first but it's obvious we've been naive and inexperieced, but now with all this help, I'm feeling positive about it. I assume the main things we need to do are prove we're a real couple in love and intent on marriage, and that I (or my family) could support Elise without help from the state. Thanks again for everyones help.

Mike

The main thing is that you do things completely by the book from here on out.  If all your paperwork (especially financial) is up to scratch, your fiancee visa should be approved without a problem, despite the prior denied entry.  It will take longer to process like kitsonk said, and you most likely will be interviewed by phone.  However, it's definitely not an impossible situation....there are several people on this board that went through the same thing you did and later had fiancee and spouse visas approved.

....there are several people on this board that went through the same thing you did and later had fiancee and spouse visas approved.

Thank you so much for that, Andrea. That really gives me some hope!

WARNING: This post is kind of long. I thank anyone in advance who reads all the way through it.

Hey everyone. I'm new here, and I desperately need some answers. I did a search on Google and was lucky enough to find this site and so far it's been helpful, but my predicament is a little ... different.

Adiaphorous, I'm an immigration advisor turned full-time public advocate, I would like to have some details about your story as background for an upcoming briefing at the Entry Clearance User Panel.   

PM enroute.

you're not alone.  this has happened to other people and they've gone on to get a successful fiance visa.

nothing more to add, except to agree w/advise to play it by the book and good luck!

I just wanted to add my welcome greetings, and reiterate the advice given by everyone so far--do it by the book from here on out, and you should be able to get a fiancé visa.  I came to the UK on a fiancé visa last year.  I hadn't had any previous troubles with immigration, so the process was painless.

I just wanted to add my welcome greetings, and reiterate the advice given by everyone so far--

Thanks, StuzMrs.  I just wish we'd done this in the first place!  I don't know why we were so clueless about everything.