My Big Mess

I never expected to be in this situation. I am married to a British Citizen, and we seperated a month after I moved here with my 3 year old to be with him. I am currently living with a friend and still married. I have only been here for 2 months, we were together for over 2 years in all, and only married since September. This is not what I thought my future would be like.

I don't neccessarily want to go back home. I do love it here, but at the moment I don't know what my options are, and I don't know what I'm doing. I've been ill for a month, went to the doctors once when we were still together, I am not better unfortunately, but I'm scared to go now that I'm seperated because I do not know what my rights are. I don't even know what I need to do to be able to go to a doctor here.

I'm also in a completely different area than where my husband and I lived so I am not sure what to do or what I need to do. I am employed and work via the internet, so luckily nothing has affected that, although I am paid in dollars, and the exchange rate is horrible atm

Even if I wanted to go home right now I do not have the money to do it, but as it is, I do love it here and would like to stay, but again I don't know what my options are, and I don't know what I'm doing. Any advice, understanding, would be great. Feel free to message me privately or respond to this.

Very confused, very worried.

Dear Purplelight,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation.  I am a Brit, and therefore not as up to speed with immigration and work permit matters as I might be.  There are many very many kind and experienced people who contribute to this forum who I know will help with the residence information that you need.

It does seem to me, however, that you should not be in any way afraid to go to a doctor.  You can find out what doctors are available in your area from your local post office or Health Authority, or if you have the Yellow Pages phone directory you should be able to find a list under "Doctors".  You may want to telephone your chosen medical practice as a first contact, but to register you will need to visit them and fill out some forms.  You will probably be able to make an appointment to consult a doctor at the same time.  It will probably be a good idea to take evidence of your marital status with you, and the details of the previous doctor that you consulted (this is so your new doctor can obtain your medical records and notes for his/her files).  It seems to me that the fact that you have already seen a doctor in this country will make your new registration a mere formality, and you should have no difficulty whatever.

As well as advice that you will undoubtedly get from your fellow nationals here, there is a wonderful organization called the Citizens' Advice Bureau.  They have offices in almost every town staffed by trained and experienced volunteers, and the advice is both confidential and free.  They have no connection with any form of government agency whatsoever.  

Howard

Hi Purplelight

I'm a Brit too and I'm so sorry to hear things have not worked out with your Brit husband.

Regarding medical treatment ... just contact a local doctor's surgery and tell them you moved here from the US recently and don't have a doctor and need to see one asap. I would be very surprised if they asked to see your visa or anything like that. The first time my (US) husband got sick here (just a couple of months ago) he didn't have a doctor but we just rang a local surgery and they saw him the same day with no questions asked. He had to fill in a form at the surgery which did ask how long he had been in the UK but that was all. A couple of weeks later he got a medical card in the post with his NHS number so it was all "official."  Ask a British friend to help you find a doctor and go with you to the surgery if you can, it can sometimes help to have a "local" doing some of the talking when it comes to offical-ese here.

Re your visa and right to remain here - your current visa is still valid until its expiry date (presume you have the 2 year spouse deal?) so you are ok until then ... but after that if you have not reconciled with your ex, I think you are probably  going to have a hard time staying here. Have a look at the Home Office website for details of visas available but basically if you have no family connection it comes down to being able to prove your skills are in VERY high demand here.

I second Howard's suggestion, try contacting CAB for further advice it is free and confidential.

Good luck

Liz

The problem is also with my husband's family, they have become very hurtful towards me since we seperated (ie. keeping me from speaking to my husband, refering to me by my maiden name, keeping copies of the marriage certificate from me, emailing my family at home and telling them lies, telling me that if we seperated they would send me and my son home whether we wanted to or not, etc.), I am worried if I did stay in the UK, they would try to make it so I had to go home. Since they are my sponsers, are they able to do that? Can they have my visa revoked? I am just very scared not knowing where I stand on anything. I have a two year marriage visa yes. I have my NHS cards I was just scared to go to the doctor not knowing if I am allowed or entitled to it since we seperated.

Purple, go to the doctor. They are there to treat people, not to judge you based on being separated. Besides, even if you were a tourist who happened to be visiting and then you got ill, they would still see you. Having NI cards is a sure ticket in. You've got no reason NOT to go in. Go!

Go!

As far as your in-laws, your sponsors, please do seek free advice through your local council. It's a special team of people there that have nothing to do with government...as in, they won't report you...they are there for YOU and to give you free advice. This is the Citizens Advice Bureau that is mentioned above, and is a community service sponsored by the local council.

Do not be ruled by these people (the in-laws); they want you to think you have no place to go for help, and it's quite the opposite. There are organizations out the ying-yang to give you advice and support. And just because you are separated doesn't mean they can't help you.

If you have a marriage visa and have full rights to stay in the UK for now, then perhaps you can find a job here? Or perhaps a part time job? Earn some pounds for spending here, keep your US income and build up and save your dollars as a safety net. That may sort you with currency conversion rates. Bsides, I don't think your "sponsors" can have you kicked out if you prove that you are supporting yourself with a job here.

Best of luck...it's a tough spot, but from my point of view, you have a lot you can relax about. It's not too big to cause a panic. It's do-able and fix-able, and you can have the last laugh with the people who are making it so hard on you because you can be made stronger as a result of just jumping into this with both feet and taking it all by the horns. Yes, you do have rights. Now go out there and use them.

Hiya,

Im in sort of a similar situation, my american girlfriend has just come to live with me after a whole heap of mess, but like you her inlaws are threatening to have her thrown out of the country, to be honest its really depressing thinking of how we're gonna cope if she's forced to leave i cant afford to visit the us everytime i want to see her, so we've talked about moving over there, however, im currently unemployed, and i dont know where to begin, i'd love to be able to stay here with her, but if the situation gets any worse i think she's gonna leave, any advice for me? heh sorry to hijack the thread but it's very similar to my own situation, again i apologise.

What is with all these in-laws Ok I can't be 100% certain but my gut feeling is that your visa won't be revoked simply becausey our inlaws are against you. Purplelight I am not sure what you mean about your inlaws being your spsonor, it is your spouse who has to sponsor you for the spouse visa so I wouldn't even worry about them. Like everyone says get down to your local CAB and get some advice from someone who knows the system. Same goes for you Surge. Alternatively you could call the Home Office query line and ask them what the story is, you can ask anonymously, without giving your name or get a friend to call for you. Good luck everyone.

ps Purplelight I hope you've seen a doctor now !!

Liz

Purplelight,

Im so sorry to hear about your situation.

I dont think your sponsor(s) can have your visa revoked. That decision is up to the Home Office.

If the marriage was entered into in good faith and you have shown sufficient ability to take care of yourself and your child without needing public funds then you may have a strong case.

If you were a victim of domestic violence and you have the ability to proove it then your case is especially strong under humanitarian rights and you would likely be granted ILR if the domestic violence occured during your probationary period (Link to Immigration Rule

I couldnt get much info from the HO Immigration Rules but when you seek advice make sure to ask about the "Curtailment" rules which govern the HO's ability to refuse someone further entry if they have more than one month's stay left on their probation when the marriage has broken-down or terminated.

The Immigration Rules are a great source of information and although its a lot to sift though and sometimes hard to understand (government speak and all) it might benefit you to have a look.

Home Office: Getting Immigration Advice might also be of use to you.

In the letter I got from the HO following my approval of Further Leave to Remain it says: "If your marriage is no longer subsisting, you are advised to contact the Immigration and nationality Enquiry Bureau on 0870-606-7766 to seek advice on wheather you may qualify to remain in some other capacity." Be sure to remain anonymous for now.

It also says short term emergency assistance from Public Funds is ok and wont result in a refusal unless its clear that you are unable to maintain and accomodate yourself and any dependants.

The letter directs us to HC395 of the Immigration Rules, for info regarding spouses of UK citizens and settlement in the UK.

I hope this information helps.

Best wishes,
Sarah

PS: If your in-laws wont let you see the marriage certificate just contact the registrar that married you and ask for a copy. I think a copy of my certificate cost £20. You may need to go to the registrar to sign for the copy but you dont have to have your husband with you. Its your right to have a copy for whatever reason you wish.

The in-laws cannot do anything before the 2 years is up. And you are perfectly entitled to use the NHS as you are a 'UK resident' at least for the next two years.