Fairytales

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I dated a British guy for a few years awhile back. We were serious and had talked about marriage. I studied abroad in the UK and got to know his family very well. However, we had different life visions and we broke up. I only ever got one phone call and one e-mail straight afterwards. I remember feeling so sad and devastated that after everything we'd been through, we could stop all contact immediately. I realized a few months later that we should have split up a lot sooner.

I can't tell you how happy I am that we ended our relationship. I met ANOTHER brit (who I was determined NOT to get involved with at first), and this relationship doesn't even compare! I just got engaged and we have been absolutely head over heels for over two years now. It just gets better every day. I'm glad I let the other relationship go, because it allowed me to find my soul mate. I honestly did not know what it meant to be  in love until I met this man.

I think it's wondeful that you had the courage to make the right decision. I know it is difficult at the moment, but if he isn't the one for you, then staying with him would only blind you to something really special and life changing. Take care and best of luck!

Well yesterday I laughed my head off for the first time in weeks! Took my nine year old to an amusement park and we had a blast just the two of us. I imagine some days will be easier than others, and I'll just take them as they come I guess! Sure was nice to smile and giggle and not feel sad for a bit though! 

good to hear Silly Snip.. make yourself  a list  of all the things you want to do but couldn't  or never got  around  to because  you were  attached.. Be selfish!!  and have  a  blast!! 

Glad to hear you had a good day!   

Got a little bit of reply from my Englishman today, oh right he's not "my Englishman" anymore  But anyways, was nice to hear from him and for him to share a little of what he's up to. Wow I miss him just as much now as I did when I first posted this!

Now I have a new issue, lol like I don't have enough. Just found out a guy I know has had a thing for me for the last few years I guess. I had no clue, was completely oblivious to it all. My friend tells me she knew all along but didn't say anything. Yikes! I was happier not knowing really, now I'll just feel awkward around him. I am not interested, who knows maybe before I fell in love with Mr. England I may have considered it, but I just can't even imagine being with anyone else. Sigh.... I need a vacation from my life! LOL where do I sign up for that?  Two weeks until the big musicfest my friend and I go to every year.. I can't wait! That is the mini-break I could use right now!

Well what a difference a few weeks can make. I am back to feeling my normal silly self for the most part. Still have a thought now and then that makes me sad. Lately I'll randomly think "I should be counting down to November right now". The last two years I went to see him in November. But things are going pretty good. Now and then he and I will IM but that's it. I am ok with that and have actually considered looking at Mr. Crush a little differently lately. He is just so sweet and shows me that he is actually interested in me. It's a nice feeling, and one I haven't felt in a long time. Though I know it is too soon for me to move on when my heart is still hanging onto a thread of hope that things will change here. However small that thread has become it's not fair to bring someone else into this and risk hurting them. So... for now I am just taking things as they come and having a lot more fun than I was a few weeks ago! 

Hey SillySnip...

Glad to hear you're starting to feel better!  Yay!!!  

Hey SillySnip...

Glad to hear you're starting to feel better!  Yay!!!  

Thanks! And hey, Yay for you, your tickers are finally moving faster! I think it helped when you decided to ditch the snail! 

Thanks! And hey, Yay for you, your tickers are finally moving faster! I think it helped when you decided to ditch the snail! 

So that's what I was doing wrong!!! 

I'm so glad you are starting to feel better!  I hope that trend continues!  All the best.   

Happy to hear you are feeling better!
Having someone pay a little attention to you is too bad either!

However small that thread has become it's not fair to bring someone else into this and risk hurting them. So... for now I am just taking things as they come and having a lot more fun than I was a few weeks ago! 

You are most worthy of admiration for your respect, maturity and foresight.

Mr Crush may be the type who believes, as my father often says, 'A patient man always wins in the end.'

Glad to hear things are better for you now.

Glad to hear you are feeling better.   

Thanks ladies, I really am feeling much better! We all have our ups and downs, but lately the downs don't hit so hard. It's nice. Things in general have just been better even with a bunch of junk going on in other areas of my life. I am ok, just as I knew I would be in time. 

As for Mr. Crush, it is nice to have the attention. He is a super sweet guy that makes me smile a lot. I would never want to hurt him the way I was hurt, so am cautious about things.  I know I still have feelings for my Englishman, and expect I always will. I don't think I will ever truly "get over him", he was the first guy I have ever truly loved. I am ok with that, he can have a place in my heart forever. I don't want to forget all we shared. But I do need to be able to move on and find happiness with someone else someday. He has given me no reason to believe otherwise.

Mr. Crush seems to have lots of patience, I guess he has been waiting for me for quite some time. If he is willing to deal with my issues and take things slow then great. If not, he is still a great guy and friend. I am not one to "need" a man in my life, so that's not an issue. I just really do not want to risk hurting him in anyway. So, for right now I am just enjoying life a lot more and taking things as they come. I have learned a valuable lesson from this, I know what I want down the road. I want a guy that is not afraid to shout it out to the world when he is in love with me. I don't want to wonder. So, see along with some lovely memories I found out things I never knew I was looking for! 

I am not one to "need" a man in my life, so that's not an issue. I just really do not want to risk hurting him in anyway. So, for right now I am just enjoying life a lot more and taking things as they come. I have learned a valuable lesson from this, I know what I want down the road. I want a guy that is not afraid to shout it out to the world when he is in love with me. I don't want to wonder. So, see along with some lovely memories I found out things I never knew I was looking for! 

I had to read this over a few times, because I swear I wrote the exact same thing in my journal a few years ago.  You seem like you are in a really good place right now and I'm really happy for you.  I'm sure we've all been through similar situations and I know I would never have found what I have now if I hadn't been through all the rest.  I knew exactly what I wanted and deserved and I wasn't going to settle for anything less.  That's THE promise I made to myself, I'd rather be alone than settle. 

Enjoy your crush!!