What do I do? re: absent parent's consent for passport and visa

I have a problem.  I've married a British citizen and my kids and I are planning to move to England with him as soon as we can.  I have 3 children- girls ages 11 and almost 16, son aged 8.  My daughters' father has signed and notarised the passport application for the absent parent and signed and notarised a statement giving me permission to move them to the UK.  However, my son's father has done neither.  I have sent him the papers 4 times via email and twice through the USPS - once via regular mail, the other certified via priority mail.  In the second set of papers, I even included a self-addressed envelope with postage paid, but he has not returned either set.  All he had to do was get them signed and notarised, then send them back.  $5 for a notary, tops.

Since I sent the last set, I have been able to reach him one time via his wife's cell number.  He said he would send them the following week.  This was the 21st of June and I have neither received the paperwork, nor will he return any phone calls.  I have left messages on his cell, his home phone, and even talked to his wife, who said she would have him call me when he got off work. 

I am at my wits ends.  Legal aid says I am stuck, but am I really?  Can I get the courts to intervene and do something?  He's stopped paying his child support and also stopped using his set visitation times.  Our son hasn't seen his father for over a year now and has only spoken to him 2 times for five minutes each on the phone.  Does anyone have ANY advice?  Please help.

Thanks so much in advance.

Lisa

Get a family lawyer and start discussing getting the courts to grant you sole custody.  If you have this, you won't need consent.  However, if you do not get it, and your husband still refuses to grant consent to the move then yes, I am afraid that you are stuck.

Vicky

The divorce papers say this:

"By agreement of the parties, the care, custody and control of the parties minor child    shall be awarded to the Plaintiff, subject to Defendant's right of reasonable visitation to be further defined as follows:, ..."

I'm the plaintiff.  I've had legal aid tell me his "right to visitation" is just a priviledge and he doesn't have to take it.  However, the passport guy told me that since the ex has the right to visitation, that I have to have his permission.  I'm confused as heck...

"By agreement of the parties, the care, custody and control of the parties minor child    shall be awarded to the Plaintiff, subject to Defendant's right of reasonable visitation to be further defined as follows:, ..."

I'm the plaintiff.  I've had legal aid tell me his "right to visitation" is just a priviledge and he doesn't have to take it.  However, the passport guy told me that since the ex has the right to visitation, that I have to have his permission.  I'm confused as heck...

We aren't lawyers, generally speaking, and so you have to realize that we might give you some horrible advice as well as some great advice.

I would say, again not being a lawyer though, that a "right" is a "right".  Legal documents usually mean what they say.  That means that he has the right to visit the minor child as based on the definition of what "reasonable visitation" is.  He of course doesn't HAVE to take visitation, it is purely an option on his part.

Based on what I understand of the situation, I am sure that a judge would most likely issue an order allowing you to take the child out of the country, especially if you have proof that the father is being unresponsive.  Did you send the documents to be signed certified mail?  I would do that right away so that you have some legal proof that you have attempted to gain his permission and he has been unreasonable and unresponsive.  Also, I would find whatever proof you have that he isn't paying child support (I know proving someone isn't doing anything is tough, but I would at least write down when he stopped paying and when he stopped exercising his visitation rights).

My gut feeling is that you are probably not going to get this straightened out without a lawyer.  I can start thinking of a million things that could come up that would be difficult to answer, are you and your ex-spouse in the same state that the divorce was granted in?  There are all sorts of issues of jurisdiction, etc etc...

On the other hand, a strongly worded letter, sent registered mail, from a lawyer stating that either he sign the papers and grant you permission, otherwise you will take him to court not only for permission but for the child support he owes, might motivate him to just sign the papers and be done with it.

On the other hand, a strongly worded letter, sent registered mail, from a lawyer stating that either he sign the papers and grant you permission, otherwise you will take him to court not only for permission but for the child support he owes, might motivate him to just sign the papers and be done with it.

I did send the last set of papers certified, (but not registered) so I know he got it and I have the proof.  It was also strongly worded that I would take him back to court if he didn't sign them and return them by a certain date (July 21st).
-----------------------------

He FINALLY called me back today.  His excuses were that he'd been working screwy shifts and I had either called while he was at work or getting ready for bed so he could get up in time for the next shift.  I can't say that I totally believe him, but he said he sent the papers out right before he called me.  He also stated that I will notice the papers were signed and notarised on July 31st, but he'd left them in his van and "forgot" to mail them until today.

Fact is, I've been trying to reach him for over 2 weeks so I know he didn't forget to mail the darned things.  I guess I will just wait and see for yet another week or so - it's only been a year that I've been waiting for him to sign these, another week can't hurt. *sigh*

Thanks to all of you who've responded.  I know you aren't lawyers, but it's nice to know there's someone out there who has either been through it all or can at least be impartial and give objective responses.

*hugs*
Lisa