Am I the only UK female that has an American husband here in UK????

really interesting that this thread came back to life, and seriously weird to read my post on here from 2008. We've now been back in UK for 5 years, and guess what - the hubby is homesick for the USA!
Now, some may say it's just him and he needs therapy (seperate issue), but seriously, as he gets older, he says he has trouble being in a different culture. Says he'll just never understand english people, english school system (he teaches high school), he refuses to do most shopping coz says he doesn't understand how it works here. Spends spare time on Espn and is following all american sports even ones that when we got married (15 years ago) he never mentioned.
Its weird to read that when we were in the States he missed England, maybe I have to remind him of that.
Also interesting to read some people's frustrations with USA, like lack of holidays off work.
Husband says he misses the following: (OK apart from Sport, sport and sport)
 - slower pace of life (obviously he's not heading to NYC!)
 - more family time
 - happier people (I know this is relative but from our year in the states, it is true, even if it was superficial most people in USA are happy, in London (I can't speak for outside where it could be that "out of town" thing applies too), in London ppl are genuinly miserable. try it out, very few people you pass on the streets are smiling.
also few ppl say hello in that neighbourly way anymore
 - he thinks the education system is broader and raises happier, more rounded kids - (eldest is starting GCSE and is super stressed, under prepared, etc)
 - space, this has been a constant gripe, bigger homes! we don't live in a shoe box, but if you speak to him you'd think we did.
you get the picture. honestly, I think it's a state of mind. You can be happy where you are, or you can make yourself miserable. there are problems the world over, you have to pick the place that's best for you and then make the most of it. Shame my OH doesn't agree with me

Nice update!  I haven't read the whole thread, but I think I get the idea.  I definitely think there's a lot to the idea that you can set down roots almost anywhere..if that's really what you want to do.  Sink or swim is my motto (sometimes easier said than done, but still I try to tread above the water most days).  Best wishes on life's journey

- happier people (I know this is relative but from our year in the states, it is true, even if it was superficial most people in USA are happy, in London (I can't speak for outside where it could be that "out of town" thing applies too), in London ppl are genuinly miserable. try it out, very few people you pass on the streets are smiling.

Just because people aren't smiling doesn't mean they're miserable.  They might just have a lot on their minds: a mental shopping list;  will my kid pull their socks up in time for their exams? have i got all the ingredients for dinner? will the car pass MOT? will the lump in my breast come up negative? my boss is a cretin; why is that woman staring at me?

- happier people (I know this is relative but from our year in the states, it is true, even if it was superficial most people in USA are happy, in London (I can't speak for outside where it could be that "out of town" thing applies too), in London ppl are genuinly miserable. try it out, very few people you pass on the streets are smiling.
also few ppl say hello in that neighbourly way anymore

That's a very broad generalisation, but I'm going to respond with another generalisation.    It could be that you're comparing small town/suburb life with big city life. People in large cities, in my experience, tend to be in more of a hurry, etc. and perhaps don't have time for what you call being neighbourly. You say that you're not from New York City, but I have a hunch that if you did live there you wouldn't find people's neighbourliness much different from that in London.

And, as Albatross says, just because people don't smile and say hello doesn't mean they're miserable. It just may mean they're busy, in a hurry, trying to catch the tube, etc.

I live in a small village in the UK and everyone says hello to each other. I tend to think this isn't really a UK/US issue, but is more to do with the type of village/town/city you live in.

It could be that you're comparing small town/suburb life with big city life.

...

I tend to think this isn't really a UK/US issue, but is more to do with the type of village/town/city you live in.

I totally agree with this. 

I'm from a smallish town in Washington (80,000) and went to uni in a tiny town in Iowa (just 8,000).  Both places it was common to smile at someone or say hello as you passed or at least acknowledge them in certain situations.

In London (population of 8 million!) when someone says hello to me on the street or at a bus stop, it's totally out of place and makes me a little uneasy.   

I'm a pretty friendly person and would gladly smile at everyone on the streets in small towns.... but it would just feel out of place in a big city (London or NYC.... UK or US).  London is a totally different animal.... not because it's the UK, but because it's a huge city!

Agree with chary! I live in a city across the river from Manhattan and my office is in Manhattan. I'll say hello to my actual neighbors, chat for a bit, etc., or maybe say hello to someone passing me with their dog when I'm walking my roommate's dog, but when I'm walking down the street trying to get somewhere, I'm not going to smile and say hello to every single person because there are just too many, I'll probably never see them again, and they're usually all in my way!   

Where I lived in Massachusetts (small town) people didn’t walk around smiling much. Sure, if they were in a group of people, they might be talking and smiling, but definitely not if they were alone. Like NOT, I would wave to my neighbors and maybe have a quick chat with them, but very rarely would I go beyond that. I have found it to be the same way here. Honestly, if I saw someone who was alone and smiling for no apparent reason, I’d find it a bit weird.

I think it depends on where you live in the US as well. I remember when my friend studied abroad in Paris she said the people from out west or the south (USA) had a hard time adjusting to the fact that people kept to themselves in Paris. They interpreted it as being unfriendly. My friend who is also from MA found it to be completely normal. On the flip side, I recall feeling really claustrophobic when I was in Florida for my brother’s wedding. Strangers would strike up really in depth and personal conversations with me and to this New Englander it was all very rude and intrusive, but the Floridians were really just trying to be polite and welcoming. However, I think being considerate, but distant is the polite thing to do with people you don’t know well.

I find it very strange, obviously if I am walking on a crowded city street I don't look for a smile/nod/hello, but when you are on a very quiet street (not in the city center) I tend to nod or smile to acknowledge that I see them and yes, you are a person too!

My husband lives on the outskirts of London and I am just am amazed that I can walk out of the house, down the road, see maybe only one other person walking towards me and as they walk by, my invisibility cloak must kick in as they look right through me, as it must be too much of an effort to twitch their mouth or nod their head......

I have gotten somewhat used to it, I just find it bizarre that two human beings can walk inches past each other and ignore one another.
Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for every person I pass to stop and have a chat about the weather and I know when to nod and when to look right through someone myself, but I think its just a nice thing to do and I will continue to nod or smile if I am in the situation to do so and if that makes me a freaky hippy dippy happy chick that then so be it!

And I have noticed that older folks and people outside of London people must realize that there are other people in the world besides themselves and as such, for the most part they don't find it a huge effort to nod or smile or say hello, its nice to know that civility and politeness and just plain niceness hasn't completely disappeared 

Now of course this is all just my very own opinion folks, but do go ahead and smile, its free and you might just get one back

 Stephanie303, please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who says, “Smile. It can’t be that bad” to complete strangers. I absolutely hate that.

I should probably correct myself. If I see someone from far ahead or walking in a crowd who is smiling for no apparent reason, I think that’s weird. If someone I walk past says hello to me, I will politely respond. I have found on both sides of the Atlantic that it tends to be older folks who do this. If I make eye contact with someone, I will smile at them. If I make eye contact with someone and they smile at me, I will smile back, but I don’t actively seek out the eye contact because I feel like that’s gawking. Please don’t think I’m accusing you of gawking. I realize you do what you do because you think it’s polite, but I also do what I do because I think it’s polite.

I also don’t seek out the contact because I’m just a person who is going about their business and the person I walk by is also going about theirs. They should not be made to feel like they have to acknowledge me simply because we both happened to walk near each other.

Feel free to smile away, if that is what makes you happy, but it makes me feel comfortable to conduct myself in the way I described above. 

Stephanie303, please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who says, “Smile. It can’t be that bad” to complete strangers. I absolutely hate that.

I hate that too! I'm not a naturally smiley person and I think that there's something about my general facial expression that puts people off. I think it's rude to tell a stranger on the street to smile for your pleasure. Sure, smiling is a nice thing to do but hardly mandatory and doesn't mean that the person is happy (nor does not smiling mean that they're unhappy).

Stephanie303, please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who says, “Smile. It can’t be that bad” to complete strangers. I absolutely hate that.

I hate that too! I'm not a naturally smiley person and I think that there's something about my general facial expression that puts people off. I think it's rude to tell a stranger on the street to smile for your pleasure. Sure, smiling is a nice thing to do but hardly mandatory and doesn't mean that the person is happy (nor does not smiling mean that they're unhappy).

Well, actually, no, I do not go bouncing down the street leaping in front of people nodding and smiling saying hello, helloo, hellooo! Smile back at me dammit!! 

My New York City friend told me that if you smile you look like an easy mark.

And I have noticed that older folks and people outside of London people must realize that there are other people in the world besides themselves and as such, for the most part they don't find it a huge effort to nod or smile or say hello, its nice to know that civility and politeness and just plain niceness hasn't completely disappeared 

Now of course this is all just my very own opinion folks, but do go ahead and smile, its free and you might just get one back

I expect you didn't mean this to sound condescending, but I found it to be exactly that.  Who are you to judge whether people are civil, kind, polite, nice, based on whether or not they smile at you?  You don't know their life.  Who are you to say that they find it "too much of an effort" to smile at you?  Maybe they don't want to put any social pressure on a stranger to respond to their unsolicited gesture.  Not smiling at strangers doesn't mean that you don't acknowledge them as human beings, it just means that you don't expect them to want to interact with you just because you're feeling friendly.  That pushy, intrusive kind of "friendliness" just doesn't exist here in the UK and I for one am glad of it.   

As a former New Englander, what is this "smile" you are talking about?

As a former New Englander, what is this "smile" you are talking about?