No control

I never had a long-distance relationship, tbh.

They're not for me.

But I have been in long-term relationships where my partner spent a lot of time away - my ex h was a serious climber who'd go away to climb big peaks or trips and be gone doing less than risk free sports for weeks or even months.  And there wasn't any way of keeping in phone contact, often enough.

I learned that only I can make myself happy.

That doesn't mean you don't have happy relationships, of course not.  But I find them more satisfying and secure when you're coming at it as two content people in and of themselves.

It's been a week since I have been back in the states. It feels like a lifetime! I miss my Rich so freaking much.

It's not been that long since you came home. I know I always go through a really hard time when I first get home from a visit. Things just seem so sad and impossible after being together and having to say goodbye yet again. But as time goes on, you get back into each of your routines and wait for the "next time". Long distance sucks, but if you both want it badly enough, you'll make it work.

As far as how often is too much or too little communication.. that is definitely an individual couple thing. Who's to say what is right for you? Only you and your boyfriend can work that one out. I think you need to let him know your worries about waiting for him to get there in January. He may not even realise you are having such a hard time?? I do agree though you shouldn't be sitting at home sad and alone. Get out and meet some friends and enjoy life. It passes the time so much quicker and you'll feel better for it. If you are feeling better about your situation, your communications with him may go that much better too!

 Good luck to you, I hope things start feeling more settled for you very soon. 

I always had a rough time for about two weeks after I came home or Steven left after a visit.  But, life goes on and you have to get on with it.  If you and your bf and truly meant to be together, everything will work out fine.  Worrying will NOT make someone stay with you, nor will asking them everyday if they still want to be with you, etc..

That said..it takes two to make a relationship and because I just went through what you are going through (saving up to move to another country) I can tell you that if I was trying to save every cent to have a new life in the same country with my husband and he was spending the money the way your bf seems to be, there would be a problem.  There are two sides to every story, but unless he makes a lot of money, a trip to Hungary seems a bit unnecessary.

Good luck.

P.S. Steven and I spoke everyday when we were apart.  Sometimes just for ten minutes, sometimes for three hours.  It just depended on what was going on. 

Would you say that is really bad for the realtionship if we were to talk everyday?

When DH & I were doing the LDR thing, we spoke by telephone every day.  He called me as he was going to bed & at the end of my work day (5 hours time difference) -- but the weekday conversations were usually short:  'I love you/miss you, how was your day?, good night' sort of stuff.  At the weekends, we had longer telephone conversations & online chat dates.  (We also emailed each other nearly every day.)

I've had several long-term relationships in my life -- and I learned to trust my gut instincts on things.  Whenever something didn't feel right, it almost invariably wasn't right - live & learn.

I understand your sense of "no control".  Our future is greatly influenced on his career and I sometimes do resent it because my career is very important to me. 

Maybe talking to you so much is painful for him and he is keeping himself occupied while you are gone.  I know my bf does the same and I had to learn to not take it personally.  He admitted that he keeps going at full speed because when he is alone he misses me more. 

As far as the spending money, that's just irresponsible, IMO.  Especially if you have both agreed to save so you can be together sooner.

I think talking everyday is okay, but it doesn't sound like you are communicating.  Communication, trust and faith are very important in any relationship.
Good luck!

and I learned to trust my gut instincts on things.  Whenever something didn't feel right, it almost invariably wasn't right - live & learn.

This has always been my experience as well, not just in relationships, but life in general. I often talk to people about trusting instincts. 

"Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." - Dr. Joyce Brothers

Sometimes our hearts over rule; it's what makes us human... I hope you find a way to navigate through while you're apart, Mlewis.   

I feel as if I have no control over my own future. It's all in his hands  . . .   my future is being controlled by my boyfriend. I don't know how to start planning my life?

You have complete control over your future, just not over other people and their future.  You may or may not have one with him, and if he has decided to do things that go against your plans, there is nothing you can do about it.

As others have said, live you life . . . it may or may not include him.  There is nothing definite even if he does come in January . . . even if you are married . . . even if you have ten kids . . . and that's the reality of life for all of us. 

No matter how much we want something, we can't do it for the other person.  It's all up to them.  No control over anyone but ourselves.

As others have said, live you life . . . it may or may not include him.  There is nothing definite even if he does come in January . . . even if you are married . . . even if you have ten kids . . . and that's the reality of life for all of us. 

I totally agree...