salary equivalencies

When you have a five-person family living on that salary near the London area, I can totally understand where mountaintroll is coming from...I grew up in a family of six and my parents' combined salary is about what mountaintroll makes- a lot of money, yes, but with that many people in the house it wasn't like there were piles of money left over at the end of the day (and no, before you ask, they don't have huge amounts of debt.)

When you have a five-person family living on that salary near the London area, I can totally understand where mountaintroll is coming from...I grew up in a family of six and my parents' combined salary is about what mountaintroll makes- a lot of money, yes, but with that many people in the house it wasn't like there were piles of money left over at the end of the day (and no, before you ask, they don't have huge amounts of debt.)

Did you have a humble life?

mountaintroll - where do you live?  I know you said home counties but I admit I don't know what that means really? 

I am trying to get a sense of exactly what kind of money I will want to aim for to be able to live in or very close to London, supporting a family of say 2-3 plus me.

Just outside Reading, Berkshire.

Do you have a lot of debt?  Because, I honestly don't believe that your lifestyle can be humble, unless you have a lot of debt. 

Actually I don't mind too much about personal questions on an Internet forum.  This discussion is quite interesting because I often wonder myself how much one has to earn to be able to afford things like a sports car, big house, nice holidays etc.  Having a marginal tax rate in this country of effectively 58.5% (taking account of VAT which is on most items) means that living standards are highly compressed.  You have to earn A LOT more to make much visible difference. Having said this I do send two of my 3 children to a private school (#3 is a baby), which costs a bit.  Re debt I have a 200k mortgage, that's it.  Ok, lifestyle is not humble as such but it doesn't exactly stand out either.

Did you have a humble life?

not sure what you mean- we lived in a nice enough house and had some nice things   There was definitely enough money to go around to cover everyone's needs and some wants, but they weren't spending money on lavish gifts or vacations or anything.  (They're pretty aggressive retirement savers as well and also spent a huge amount of money on medical bills and healthcare for four children's chronic health issues, so a significant chunk of their salary was skimmed off the top for those purposes along with tax money, plus thousands of $$ in yearly income tax.)

Actually I don't mind too much about personal questions on an Internet forum.  This discussion is quite interesting because I often wonder myself how much one has to earn to be able to afford things like a sports car, big house, nice holidays etc.  Having a marginal tax rate in this country of effectively 58.5% (taking account of VAT which is on most items) means that living standards are highly compressed.  You have to earn A LOT more to make much visible difference. Having said this I do send two of my 3 children to a private school (#3 is a baby), which costs a bit.  Re debt I have a 200k mortgage, that's it.  Ok, lifestyle is not humble as such but it doesn't exactly stand out either.

Well, maybe these people earn as much as you, but have a large amount of debt.  Isn't the UK the #1 country in Europe in terms of amount of debt?

Your "my lifestyle is humble" comment irked me a lot.  Yes, your lifestyle may be humble to you, but to most people its probably way above average.  I had a great upbringing as a child and never knew what it was like not to have money, but my husband's grandparents raised four children whilst living in a council house on meager earnings.  They went without a lot and definitely had a humble life.  But, they had a happy life and their children went to university and are doing really well for themselves.

I guess the term "humble" has a different meaning to everyone.

not sure what you mean- we lived in a nice enough house and had some nice things   There was definitely enough money to go around to cover everyone's needs and some wants, but they weren't spending money on lavish gifts or vacations or anything.  (They're pretty aggressive retirement savers as well and also spent a huge amount of money on medical bills and healthcare for four children's chronic health issues, so a significant chunk of their salary was skimmed off the top for those purposes along with tax money, plus thousands of $$ in yearly income tax.)

Well, you obviously lived a better childhood than most!

MOD HAT ON

Stepping in to say everyone has a different definition of what is a good salary/humble life/enough to get by on.  Let's not turn this into an argument about what is the right definition of humble. 

Move on people.

I guess the term "humble" has a different meaning to everyone.

I think this is spot on - everyone has different meanings.

I want to know how much I will need to live the lifestyle that I want to live here in the UK.  For me that means a spacious house in a decent neighborhood, the ability to eat out when I want to, at least 2 bed and 2 bath, and I want to afford to have someone take care of my child when I have one and am working.  I want to be able to go to the US at least 2 times a year and to other countries for holiday as well.  I want to make sure my kids can go to what we would consider a private school in the US.

I'm not ashamed to state all that.  What I want may not be what others want. 
However my kids will know the meaning of money and never take it for granted and they will not be spoiled or get whatever they want whenever they demand.  There will be no excessive parties like those sweet 16 ones on MTV and they're not getting cars and all that.  There will be savings and investments and working as a teenager.  To me that's about being humble.  Understanding that money is something you work for and earn and save and you should respect that and use your money wisely, not throw it away.

Your "my lifestyle is humble" comment irked me a lot.  Yes, your lifestyle may be humble to you, but to most people its probably way above average.  I had a great upbringing as a child and never knew what it was like not to have money, but my husband's grandparents raised four children whilst living in a council house on meager earnings.  They went without a lot and definitely had a humble life.  But, they had a happy life and their children went to university and are doing really well for themselves.

Well in that case I sincerely apologise.  This comment was not intended to offend.  Yes I/we are very happy but what I was trying to communicate was that if you were to observe my lifestyle, I believe you'd think it fairly ordinary.

Well in that case I sincerely apologise.  This comment was not intended to offend.  Yes I/we are very happy but what I was trying to communicate was that if you were to observe my lifestyle, I believe you'd think it fairly ordinary.

I think you restated it well.

Well, maybe people can see how people might feel odd or ashamed of making so much money...  You mention it in casual conversation with someone you don't know very well and suddenly the whole situation becomes awkward.  If you add in my partner's income, it becomes a bit silly.  We don't live, in our opinions, a rich lifestyle, but I say that and then we are able to spend money on really nice holidays.  In fact our holiday earlier this year, we felt real wakeward because in the Bed and Breakfasts we were staying in we really only ran into people of money, which we both still find strange and awkward.

On the other hand, I come from middle class America.  My parents didn't provide me with a lot of things because they couldn't.  I started working the day I turned 16 and haven't stopped since.  So I don't have any regrets...

Being in my early thirties, I think that is one of the challenges of our generation, for those of us who made well on the time and effort our parents spent on us, how to fit into society and what roll we are to play.

kitsonk - I think maybe you just can't believe you make so much and maybe you think you don't deserve it?   But if you do - then you definitely deserve it and must work very hard and same with your partner.

I wouldn't be ashamed of making a salary of 90k - mine is not really near that although it's definitely within reach - but rather I would make it a point to be sensitive to the people around me and when it's discussed.  I wouldn't mention it just in casual conversation or for instance on other boards on this forum - but in this thread we are discussing it and it's come up so everyone should expect to hear things that might make them envious or jealous, or on the flip side, a bit grateful that they make what they do. 

The other important thing is to make sure you use it wisely - in my opinion.  I would love to go to bed and breakfasts when I can and travel first class because that's what's important to me, along with savings and planning for the future.  It's all relative.  We took my parents to tea at the Ritz for their anniversary.  They enjoyed it quite a lot and found it very posh and all that.  Now my in-laws - they would have hated it!  I mean they would have recognized it was nice and we were trying to show them a good time- but they would have been so uncomfortable.

So if nice holidays are important to you (and they are to me too) then why be embarassed?  Enjoy the fruits of your and your partner's labor!