Best way to haggle with a jeweler?

I've got another thread going on platinum vs. white gold, but thought I'd start this separatly as it does focus on a different aspect of shopping for an engagement ring.

My sweetie and I know our top budget for a ring. I, however, would be quite happy if we got it for like $1,500  or $2,000 less. I've heard you can talk jewelers way down. So what's the best scenario, here? If I tell the jeweler our top budget is $4,000, they'll show us rings at that price *and* will argue if we try to talk them down 'cause they'd say, "I thought you could spend $4,000?" Plus, if I see a ring for $3,000 that I love, I want to talk them down to $2,000 or $2,500. Not to mention I want them to show me the $5,000 rings to see if I can talk them down to $3,000 or $3,500.

Will the salesman ask at the start how much we'd like to spend, or will they just show rings? And is it wise to tell them how much you want to spend (because they won't show you rings that cost more, and will be stubborn if you try to talk them down below the top budget), or to just say we want to look to get an idea of cost before we settle on a price?

I need to know the best tactics, as I will probably do most of the negotiating. My sweetie would surely feel cheap if he tried to talk them down in price on an engagement ring (especially if it was in front of me). If he went alone, they'd probably sell him a $10,000 ring that wasn't even to my taste! So I've got to (sweetly) play hardball. I plan to play up the bride-to-be who is a little fickle and won't be happy with the ring if I feel we spent too much on it, yet who wants the ring that I want.

Sorry, I'm no good at haggling. I should get some advice from my husband, as he is great at it! I seem to remember that you are on the East Coast, however (correct me if I'm wrong). If you are looking for a good deal, and can make the trip up to NYC, I would definitely recommend going to the diamond district (West 47th St. b/w 5th and 6th). The prices are really good, and there is so much competition on that block (all the buildings on the block are filled with different jewellers' booths) that it's probably easier to haggle there. I think they expect it. We got a lot more for our money by shopping there.

I would also not tell them your top limit. I would give the range that you feel more comfortable with that you discussed below. Our jeweller didn't ask our top limit, just kind of got the hint from the type of rings I asked to try on. Have a look around online to see what different cuts, colors, carat weights go for and you will get a good idea of what prices you are looking at when you get there. I did a lot of research on Blue Nile (which has really good prices) so when I got to the jewelers booth I had some comparables in my head. We also went back 2 times before purchasing anything. It's a big decision, so don't let the jeweller rush you. Our jeweller was fantastic--so sweet and not pushy at all.

I seem to remember that you are on the East Coast, however (correct me if I'm wrong). If you are looking for a good deal, and can make the trip up to NYC, I would definitely recommend going to the diamond district (West 47th St. b/w 5th and 6th). 

I am in the D.C. area, but due to time contraints and knee problems, we can't get up to NY. We've been to one jeweler so far, and the saleslady wouldn't haggle and gave a long-winded bs speech. It's her loss, her merchandise had to be marked up 100 percent and she could've worked with us. Screw her; we'll go elsewhere. My sweetie thinks it's funny that I'm this way, 'cause he would've just went in, pointed at a ring, paid some ungodly price, and had the whole thing over with. Not me, jack.

usually dropping the line 'we've been to other jewlers who are offering us bigger/better cut/less inclusions/less colour for less money'  or the 'they are offering us a free setting, it's too bad you can't match that'

something like that usually helps.

A lot of times they bring out the calculator......that's fun.  oh, 10% down, how generous...NOT.

Dave went in, chose the stone separately and that helped on cost and then had it set.  it was a good way as he knew what he wanted to spend, and made some sacrifices in something like clarity (none to the naked eye) for no colour (my stone is an E and it is what EVERYONE comments on, how white it is).  To him, and me, that was most important as i can't stand dull diamonds that are far down the colour scale.

What we found when we were shopping for my ring was that they would ask what our price range was, and then bring out rings that started at that price, but went up in cost a decent amount. 

We ended up going to jewellers all over Scotland before I found a setting that I liked and a stone to go in it. 

Dave went in, chose the stone separately and that helped on cost and then had it set.  it was a good way as he knew what he wanted to spend, and made some sacrifices in something like clarity (none to the naked eye) for no colour (my stone is an E and it is what EVERYONE comments on, how white it is).  To him, and me, that was most important as i can't stand dull diamonds that are far down the colour scale.

I agree with this.  We had the same tactic when choosing my ring.  Colour, cut and the polish grade of the rings were all very important to us. 

Really know your diamond lingo before purchasing.  That will give you an edge and help you to know exactly what you're looking for.  And yes, purchase the stone and setting separately.  You'll tend to get more bang for your buck...if I'm making any sense.

We got it, so haggling time is over! We ended up not really haggling, though I did tell the jewelry salesman we might buy a diamond online and let them (the local guy) set it for us. He made what were actually good-sounding arguements as to why it would be better to go with them on the diamond, even though we could've gotten the stone for less online (or a bigger one for the same price). I'm satisfied with the choice, though, and he did knock $300 off the price of the setting because we were also getting the diamond from them (something he might not have done if I hadn't mentioned that I'd been pricing diamonds online). So I think it worked out well, and by this time next week the ring should be back from the jewelers and on my waiting finger!