Augh, so close to being able to move, yet feeling far

Just returned a couple of days ago from spending the holidays with my fiancee...they were wonderful and it was a great time.

But now I'm back at college for my last semester and wondering where to go from here.  The time for making that final decision about when to get married and where to live is fast approaching.  I graduate in May, and just knowing the fact that after May we no longer are forced to be apart is making me antsy.

We are absolutely positive that we want to have our wedding in the US, based on numerous reasons, including the fact that it's the only place to be if I want much of my family to attend (DF has a small family with passports who are willing to travel, while I have a large family with no passports and therefore couldn't go to the UK for the wedding.)  Then comes the big decision--where to live.  This weighs on my mind constantly, and has done since we got engaged.  It's most likely that we will be living in the UK, which makes me excited, nervous, and happy all at the same time.  However, I occassionally get the inkling of dread of leaving my family behind.

I have to bring up the fact to my family that, in all honesty, I want to be married by the end of the year.  My parents are pretty aware of the fact that I will move, yet I doubt they really are aware of how soon -- at least they don't acknowledge the possibility.  I get excited about finally being able to close the gap on the distance and marry my fiancee and start our life together, but I'm also scared.  Is a year really long enough to get everything in order?....

The fact that the chance to be together is drawing so near is driving us both crazy.  It's making this time much harder than the others, mostly because we are so close to the chance of being done with our LDR.  We have had plans of getting married by the end of 2007, but that time came much faster than expected.  I want to be married and move on to my life in the UK, but I don't even know where to begin...I look at this site constantly and we have been collecting stuff for visas for awhile, but nothing is organized and with no plans set in stone (no solid wedding date yet), everything just feels like it's in limbo...

I hate being apart and we don't want to be rash and rush into things because we both are highly aware of the factors to consider and things to get in order...I'm just wondering if it will all become clearer soon or if we're going to be stuck in this LDR much longer than we hoped  :\\\'(

I did the LDR thing, but not very long.  DH and i were only in an LDR for ten months and then after i made a few visits to him, he moved to the US to stay with me.  We got married and now have a baby together.  I do remember though the anxiety revolving around, when do we marry, when do we  move, what do i have to do, visas, tickets, planning etc.. It would get so overwhelming.

I started making a list of all the things i needed to do, i could add to it, cross things off as i got them done and keep track of where i was at.  It helped to give me a clearer idea of where i was going.

It sounds like you both want to be together but the big committment is a bit frightening to you.  Make sure it's what you both want.  Could you go live with him for a few months after graduation and see how that goes?  You wouldn't be able to work, but it would give you an idea about life with him and in the UK.  I hope it works out for you and that May comes as fast or as slow as you hope!

Just returned a couple of days ago from spending the holidays with my fiancee...they were wonderful and it was a great time.

But now I'm back at college for my last semester and wondering where to go from here.  The time for making that final decision about when to get married and where to live is fast approaching.  I graduate in May, and just knowing the fact that after May we no longer are forced to be apart is making me antsy.

We are absolutely positive that we want to have our wedding in the US, based on numerous reasons, including the fact that it's the only place to be if I want much of my family to attend (DF has a small family with passports who are willing to travel, while I have a large family with no passports and therefore couldn't go to the UK for the wedding.)  Then comes the big decision--where to live.  This weighs on my mind constantly, and has done since we got engaged.  It's most likely that we will be living in the UK, which makes me excited, nervous, and happy all at the same time.  However, I occassionally get the inkling of dread of leaving my family behind.

I have to bring up the fact to my family that, in all honesty, I want to be married by the end of the year.  My parents are pretty aware of the fact that I will move, yet I doubt they really are aware of how soon -- at least they don't acknowledge the possibility.  I get excited about finally being able to close the gap on the distance and marry my fiancee and start our life together, but I'm also scared.  Is a year really long enough to get everything in order?....

The fact that the chance to be together is drawing so near is driving us both crazy.  It's making this time much harder than the others, mostly because we are so close to the chance of being done with our LDR.  We have had plans of getting married by the end of 2007, but that time came much faster than expected.  I want to be married and move on to my life in the UK, but I don't even know where to begin...I look at this site constantly and we have been collecting stuff for visas for awhile, but nothing is organized and with no plans set in stone (no solid wedding date yet), everything just feels like it's in limbo...

I hate being apart and we don't want to be rash and rush into things because we both are highly aware of the factors to consider and things to get in order...I'm just wondering if it will all become clearer soon or if we're going to be stuck in this LDR much longer than we hoped  :\\\'(

If you want to test out the UK....totally recommend Bunac....check out there website...you can work up to 6 months in the UK, so that you arent totally bored out of your mind with the lack of things to do, etc.:-p You can do Bunac right after you graduate, or up to the end of the year to get involved...

I did Bunac for 5 months...It was QUITE the experience! I went Dec 26th of 2004....and was on the program til the middle end of May 2005!

It's defintately what we both want (even if we've only spent time together in either 3-5 week chunks to 3-4 month blocks...we've spent over a year together in person, though). 

After I settled back into school and got a bunch of early semester paperwork out of the way (sorting out my thesis and stuff, which is a whole other story on its own    But that's all worked out now anyway) and got back into my routine (besides the fact that I nearly fractured my thumb and was in a splint for a week and a half), I'm getting myself a lot more pulled together.  I think the stress of all that hitting me at once combined with the fact that school and work were off to a rough start just put me over the edge.

So we talked about it, and I let my family know, that our (tentative) wedding date is October 27, 2007    My dad's only stipulation was that it wasn't on a day that Notre Dame plays a football game!  (Jokingly of course...though I wouldn't put it past him to have a radio in his pocket for use at the reception, haha).  I think printing out all the stuff I need for the visa, even the forms just to look them over and "practice" filling them out will help me feel more organized.  I'm generally an over-organized person.

Must just remember to not get TOO stuck on that and actually keep up with my schoolwork    Thanks for the encouragement, guys