My first love just died...

When I first came to the USA, I met a exciting man named Michael, I dated him and exchanged love letters for two years, finally we broke up, I was on vacation at the time and staying with his best Friend, whom we fell in love and ended up married for over 10 years now and have two beautiful babies.  There friendship ended, Michael could never let go of the past, was very dramatic, even though he said we could date, something bothered him, they lost touch.  He went on to marry another and have two babies too, I was happy for them.  We just found out that he committed suicide last week, don't really know why, he was a energetic, handsome, full of life guy, apparently going through a rough time with a divorce/custody battle....  How sad, what a tragic waste of a life.  He was my first love and my only one other than my husband and even though I hadn't seen him in years, I still thought of him from time to time.  If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be with my soul mate.  Strange that I came to the USA for him and now I am leaving in 5 weeks to come back to the UK and he is no longer around.  I cannot believe what he did to himself, my heart aches for his children.  Writing this, this is the first time I have cried, I am printing some pictures so my husband can take them to him family.
Thanks for listening...

So sorry to hear of your sad story. I hope you are ok.

very sad... sorry to hear this. 

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm sure its hard, even if you haven't seen him for awhile

That's a really touching story. I'm sorry it had an unhappy ending for him.  :\\\'(

Sorry to hear that, it must be a big shock for you.

Thanks for listening, he was only 38, a police officer, two babies with no Dad now.  I still wake up and am shocked all over again, saddened all over again. I don't usually dwell on what if's, but this is one time I am thinking back, can't help but feel partially responsible, his best friend of 20+ years and him hardly spoke for the past 10 years, if it wasn't for me, then they probably would have been talking..  I guess its only natural to wonder.  My husband is going to talk to his family (he was like there 2nd son), and see if he can understand some more, try to get some kind of closure.  Thanks again, its feels good to be able to write down your feelings..

I'm so sorry, that is so sad. Especially thinking of little ones and loved ones left behind.  I hope you are doing ok. 

I am doing fine, my husband went to see his family who are convinced that it was foul play, anything other than suicide would be better to deal with I am sure, I think the police are investigating it though (other than being a policeman, he played around alot and they think the wife wanted money) as suspicious, according to them the bullett was in the back of his head and very difficult for them to get the same trajectory?  In a couple of days his wife wouldn't have been able to draw his social security, he had just signed paperwork.  He was quite mysterious and complex in life, looks like thats how his death will be too.  Looking back I wouldn't do things differently, like I said before, he never got over things, we broke up because he had another girlfriend, but after I got married he watched us for 2 years, nothing major just going out of his way to jog past our house daily for 2 years, he drove by his ex's places all the time and just starred, he could never just forget about people, could never be alone, he already had a couple of girlfriends again, so who knows, I feel alittle more comforted that I know he thought fondly of my husband.  He either just snapped or something happened, don't think we'll ever know for sure.  Thanks all again.  Sorry for rambling..

I'm so sorry to hear about all of this.  I hope for the sake of the kids his ex-wife had nothing to do with it.  That would be very sad for the children to loose both their parents. 

So sorry to hear this.  My heart goes out to his kids and family and to you and your husband.  Sometimes life can get so complicated.

I just read this - I am so sorry to hear about this, your loss and his families'.

So sorry to hear about this.  My deepest condolences to you and your husband.

I'm so sorry to hear about this.  I hope everyone is doing okay. 

Thanks for all the support, it was nice to have a wonderful community of people to talk to.  So thanks again.  Just an update, a friend found out through the coroners office, that it was suicide, his family blame his wife for not letting him see his kids - going through a divorce, never satisfied, money hungry, pushing him. His wife blames his family for apparently seeing him as a failure and he also had a problem with pain medicine and depression. 

He always had moody tendencies, very up or very down, apparently it got to where he wouldn't get out of bed for a week at a time, he pointed a gun to his head one day in front of his wife and said he would kill himself and her and the baby, but sadly she didn't find anyone to get through to him that he needed help (I think I would have gotten him committed at that point or dragged every living sole he knew to talk to him about his problem). 

The wife is not helping things at the moment, they were about divorced, but she wants access to his house, wants his cars, is dissappointed in not getting social security benefits for herself, talking about his insurance, he has only been in the grave a week.  She was very cold, said she wasn't worried about her kids, they wouldn't remember him anyway (2 yr old and a 4 yr old).  Not a reaction I would expect after being with him on and off for 16 years.

My husband and I have been through all the stages of grief, disbelief, anger etc.. We are finally about at acceptance.   

What a waste, its a shame that he could get help for his problems, he made a difference in the world, he was a policeman, a father, and after his death he had pages and pages of condolances remarking about what a great guy he was and how he made a difference in peoples lives, just by his twinkle in his eye, his smile, I wish he knew. 

Wish he would have called someone and gotten some help.  Rest In Peace Michael.