Friday Five!

I fear we will be featured on the news because my kids will have so many presents under the tree.

At my daughters school they have a therapy dog come each week and my daughter is IN LOVE.  If I manage to get through Christmas without a puppy under the tree, I’ll know I was restrained.

I'd say if there's not an actual panda under the tree, we'll know you were restrained!   

I'd say if there's not an actual panda under the tree, we'll know you were restrained!   

The TWO METER tall panda that was asked for arrived today. Thank heavens we did the extension.

For those of you who have met my husband, he’s 2 meters. He’s not small!

The TWO METER tall panda that was asked for arrived today. Thank heavens we did the extension.

For those of you who have met my husband, he’s 2 meters. He’s not small!

Awesome!!! 

Absolutely love it all KFDancer! Go for it all!!!!!!

1.  Today I’m feeling slightly more human. Again, been a very tough week post-chemo.  But last time I thought ahead and booked the spa for today. So I’m laying in relaxing quiet, pushing through warm bubbly pools and will have a scalp massage this afternoon.  This is what I plan to do on each “Friday after” for the rest of chemo.

Sending lots of *hugs* for the toughness post-chemo. Now the spa idea - that's brilliant! I hope it makes the chemo days less tough.

2.  Christmas will be different this year.  I know that my oncologist said it’s not my last Christmas (well, anymore than it’s any of our last Christmas).  While I’m normally quite restrained, this year - NOPE!  I give zero f’s.

GO FOR IT!

6 weeks from diagnosis to losing him. We lost him yesterday at 1:30 am,  to the bastard that is pancreatic cancer.  Lovely care from the paramedics, on call GP and district nurse.  Many faults of care between May and October, from a useless, beyond useless GP, but everything afterwards, Macmillian, Maggies, and the districts nurses have been fantastic.  We are heartbroken.  I wish I could take the pain away from my husband, but I can't. But I can only listen, help him remember the happy times, and go from there. 

I'm so sorry to hear PB.

Sending lots of virtual love and hugs your way. 

1. The emotional week I was having 2 weeks ago just kept going. By the following Tuesday, I was still crying pretty much constantly, so I called the GP and she signed me off work for 2 weeks and put me on anti-depressants.

I hope you are starting to feel better ksand! As PB said, depression can be very difficult. Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. 

I have some lovely blacklight reactive dyed wool I want to get creative with once I have the methods down.

That sounds awesome. I didn't even know blacklight reactive dyed wool was a thing.

4. Living in pain so severe I want to cry every day is getting old. I've been put on many wait lists, but I don't have much faith they will be of help whenever I actually get an appointment next year. I haven't been able to wear socks or shoes or drive for months from the pain levels. It's a combo of the bones in my feet being too mobile and subluxing onto nerves and referred pain from my hips and lower back.

I'm sorry this is taking WAY too long to get sorted, and am feeling SO FRUSTRATED for you. I hope you can get useful answers/help as soon as possible. 

That sounds awesome. I didn't even know blacklight reactive dyed wool was a thing.

I'm sorry this is taking WAY too long to get sorted, and am feeling SO FRUSTRATED for you. I hope you can get useful answers/help as soon as possible. 

I decided to try needle felting with it and some sparkly angellina yesterday after receiving some bad family news - it's very pretty wool, and not bad for the first time ever (an angel cookie cutter for shape). There's a few brands of acid dyes that have UV colours. This came from https://www.traceymustard.com/ but she isn't dying any more fibre so I need to learn how to myself!

We are sticking it out a bit longer trying to find an accessible house, which will mean moving to a different NHS trust as well, but I am probably going to have to move home because the NHS is so inept and accessible housing so difficult to find. I'm just worried due to the opioid crisis my pain would no longer be managed at home either.

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I'm just worried due to the opioid crisis my pain would no longer be managed at home either.

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I don't think you'll find that to be the case. Or, at least I haven't.  They are big in interrupting pain so that it doesn't become a chronic pain feedback loop....

I don't think you'll find that to be the case. Or, at least I haven't.  They are big in interrupting pain so that it doesn't become a chronic pain feedback loop....

This is chronic pain though, most of my friends there have to be on pain contracts and jump through hoops for very very low doses. Acute pain they'll only give 5 days and that's been the case for many years. There are hospitals there now doing surgery without opioids, it's horrifying.

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This is chronic pain though, most of my friends there have to be on pain contracts and jump through hoops for very very low doses. Acute pain they'll only give 5 days and that's been the case for many years. There are hospitals there now doing surgery without opioids, it's horrifying.

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It has been my experience here that you get what you need to manage the pain. They also are rather big on eliminating the cause, when they can. Another argument for moving back.  Assuming you have health insurance.

Friyay!

1.  Been a good week.  Always a good thing!  Went to a crochet workshop on Tuesday for a local charity.  Made an adorable mini hat with the world's largest pom pom attached.  They had loads of free pom pom makers so brought 3 home.  Last night, me, my husband, and our daughter couldn't stop making pom poms.  Was very fun. 

2.  Both kids had Christmas concerts at school yesterday which was lovely.  Nice that those things can be in person again!  They were both very excited to perform!

3.  Tomorrow night is Christmas at Kew which we've had booked since January 12th.  It's also the England game in the World Cup.  The family we go with are MASSIVE England fans and buy tickets to all their games at Wembley.  Hoping we are able to do the trail without rushing and get back to their house in Ealing for the game at 7.  Let's hope England wins!  We have a big surprise for the kids on Wednesday and I cannot wait!!

4.  I am in a world of pain now with my back.  Trying to remind myself that it's positive I'm in pain.  What has happened is the tumours in my back have shrunk significantly but they damaged the bones, which is now making it very very painful.  I see the spinal surgeon soon as my oncologist thinks I'd be a great candidate for a vertebroplasty which is basically where they fill in the gaps with "cement".  But it does get me down that by the evening, I'm just in a massive world of hurt.  Thankfully I have all the pain medication I could want and it DOES work, but I try to only take it when needed, when you kind of need to be in front of the pain with medication. 

5.  My lungs still haven't sorted themselves out with the fluid which is the thing that bothers me the most.  Getting another therapeutic drain Tuesday.  The last two drains, I've been so hopeful were my last and both really wiped out my energy levels.  EVERYONE says the fluid WILL stop at some point.  I just hoped it would have stopped by now.  I think I'm ready to go to the permanent drain, but both the oncologist and pulmonologist have said to give it one more therapeutic drain before going with the permanent drain.  So I am, but if it keeps accumulating, I'm going permanent (which can be removed if/when the fluid stops). 

Friyay!

1.  Been a good week.  Always a good thing!  Went to a crochet workshop on Tuesday for a local charity.  Made an adorable mini hat with the world's largest pom pom attached.  They had loads of free pom pom makers so brought 3 home.  Last night, me, my husband, and our daughter couldn't stop making pom poms.  Was very fun. 

2.  Both kids had Christmas concerts at school yesterday which was lovely.  Nice that those things can be in person again!  They were both very excited to perform!

3.  Tomorrow night is Christmas at Kew which we've had booked since January 12th.  It's also the England game in the World Cup.  The family we go with are MASSIVE England fans and buy tickets to all their games at Wembley.  Hoping we are able to do the trail without rushing and get back to their house in Ealing for the game at 7.  Let's hope England wins!  We have a big surprise for the kids on Wednesday and I cannot wait!!

4.  I am in a world of pain now with my back.  Trying to remind myself that it's positive I'm in pain.  What has happened is the tumours in my back have shrunk significantly but they damaged the bones, which is now making it very very painful.  I see the spinal surgeon soon as my oncologist thinks I'd be a great candidate for a vertebroplasty which is basically where they fill in the gaps with "cement".  But it does get me down that by the evening, I'm just in a massive world of hurt.  Thankfully I have all the pain medication I could want and it DOES work, but I try to only take it when needed, when you kind of need to be in front of the pain with medication. 

5.  My lungs still haven't sorted themselves out with the fluid which is the thing that bothers me the most.  Getting another therapeutic drain Tuesday.  The last two drains, I've been so hopeful were my last and both really wiped out my energy levels.  EVERYONE says the fluid WILL stop at some point.  I just hoped it would have stopped by now.  I think I'm ready to go to the permanent drain, but both the oncologist and pulmonologist have said to give it one more therapeutic drain before going with the permanent drain.  So I am, but if it keeps accumulating, I'm going permanent (which can be removed if/when the fluid stops).

I love that you're doing so well and that they have a plan for everything. Keep up the good work!   

Kew sounds Amazing! I love botanical gardens on an ordinary day!  I'd let them go on if they're getting antsy, and join up again with them later. 

Yay KFDancer, I'm glad you're having a positive week. Hopefully you stay on top of the pain!

Friday!

1.) Skipping work and making beer 

2.) 2 Christmas carolling gigs, a rehearsal and a concert this weekend. Busy busy busy busy!! 

3.) My work's Christmas night out tonight. Will not be late or messy, as per no 2 above and no 5 below,  I need to be at my best and also because I"m not feeling overly festive at the moment, see 4 below.... 

4.) Funeral on Monday.   Going to be so hard, just supporting hubby and family as best I can   

5.) Not sure when we will get our Christmas tree.  I've got several rehearsals and gigs this week and next weekend. So busy.