Are you happy you did/are going to?

There are pro's and con's for me:
I moved here 5 years ago and in that time, I became a homeowner (which I could never have done in the US at my age), learned to drive and have seen my career take off. So for all of that, plus giving me my husband, the UK has done a lot for me.
The flipside is that we could get more of everything for our money in the States but it may be tough to find jobs. My hubby is an online sales manager without a uni degree.
He finds the idea of retiring to Florida (or someplace hot as he says) appealing so we may not end up going back for a good 30 years or so. I think we will stay put in the UK for the forseeable future. I do miss the US in general but its nice here, and having the nagging relatives 3000 miles away is good too 
Its all about making the effort to make a life for oneself. If you decide you dont want to adjust to a place, you wont.
Edited to add, I just looked in another topic and forgot all about the 10 days vacation in the US. The UK definitely has an advantage in that area as well!

I think that five years ago buying a house on your own was possible.  Now, at least in the are where my husband has a job, it isn't.  He works a good job, he makes well better than average wage, but home ownership is well out of our league.  We couldn't afford to buy a one bedroom flat in a nice area with both our incomes.  It is more than 5 times his salary.

I realize this all depends on where you are in the UK, but his his degree and skills in the U.S. home ownership wouldn't be an issue.  At least not for something basic. 

As for choosing to settle, I like it here.  I like my job, although I wish libraries were better funded.  I like the people. I even like the weather. 

But can I see a future in a place where not only will be never be able to afford to buy a house, we can't realistically move up to a house that has more than two bedrooms?  I am not sure.

It does really depend on where you live.  Because at over 30, I still didn't own a house in the US when I left, but within 3 years of living here, my husband and I were able to buy a 3-bed terrace we're really happy with.  Could we have gotten something bigger for the "same" money in the US? Sure.  But I wouldn't have been making the "same" money in the US, either...

I do come from NY so home ownership is but a dream there, as in most major cities(my dad only became a homeowner at age 55!).
I suppose we could buy somewhere in the US but, in general, I dont think the US is going to work for us at the moment. I feel pretty settled here and I cant physically think of packing up and moving at all.

Oh I totally understand.  The problem we have is that without a house, and no car to move way out where things are cheaper, we really don't feel like we can have kids, even rental places are insane in Cambridge.  So, that means we move some place for a differetn job/cheaper location.  But then where do we go, stay in the UK?  Move to the states, to Canada?  It is all up in the air, so I am not settled at all.

I also have to remind my husband that, yes, houses may be cheaper, but we would in all likelihood need to add the cost of THREE cars (hubby, me and 19-year-old son) to that scenario if we were to move to the US, whereas we now just have the one.  Car + insurance + tax & tags + petrol x 3....no way!

Oh I totally understand.  The problem we have is that without a house, and no car to move way out where things are cheaper, we really don't feel like we can have kids, even rental places are insane in Cambridge.  So, that means we move some place for a differetn job/cheaper location.  But then where do we go, stay in the UK?  Move to the states, to Canada?  It is all up in the air, so I am not settled at all.

It's funny, that's what my husband was saying the other day -- that he can't wait until we're "settled." Meaning we're somewhere that we feel we can stay and stop planning on where/what our next move will be in a year or two's time. We're both Americans, looking at going back to the States at some point ere long. And we're contemplating all the places he might be able to get a job, which jobs he'd like the most and which cities we'd like the most. It ranges from California to Rhode Island to Arizona to just about anywhere that doesn't have super-harsh winters (I've told him places like North Dakota and Canada are OUT!).

But then he says if he can't find a good job in the States, the other option that relieves some of our problems with UK life (but not all by a long shot!) is to move elsewhere in the UK. In his job he'd get the same pay wherever he goes, so if he got a job in a cheaper city, that would help as the cost of living here is fiercely high. So we're not settled, and don't know when we will be or where we'll end up. Which would sound fun and adventurous, I suppose, if I weren't dealing with knee problems that cause a lot of mobility issues and impact on our plans. Settled sounds dreamy.

Settled sounds dreamy.

I couldn't agree more. *sigh*

It ranges from California to Rhode Island to Arizona to just about anywhere that doesn't have super-harsh winters (I've told him places like North Dakota and Canada are OUT!).

Hey, parts of Canada have very mild weather, like the UK, such as the west coast of BC (Vancouver, Victoria and suchlike). Don't write us off!  

Hey, parts of Canada have very mild weather, like the UK, such as the west coast of BC (Vancouver, Victoria and suchlike). Don't write us off!  

Stop you are adding more options to the situation.  I can move to Canada through NAFTA, my degree is on the list, I just wish it was so easy for my husband. 

True that, Bookgrl. We could never afford London or somewhere like that and it took us quite a while to get on the 'ladder' as they say. Even if we want to upgrade to a bigger house (we have a 2 BR midterrace now) it would be a struggle. I hope you find someplace to live that doesnt cost the earth where you can be happy 

Hey, parts of Canada have very mild weather, like the UK, such as the west coast of BC (Vancouver, Victoria and suchlike). Don't write us off! 

Haha, I think my hubby argued that, too, which is why I threw Canada in. But a large part of why I want the U.S. is that I really like good old private health insurance plans, and I can't get coverage on a new private plan in the UK for my pre-existing condition. But it WILL be covered in the U.S. when we go back as the law requires insurance companies to cover me as long as I haven't gone more than 60 days without coverage for the condition (and NHS counts as coverage, even if I never can get in to actually see an NHS specialist in the UK). I've heard good things about living in Canada, but I really don't want to move to another national health care system. So I argue the weather with my husband when we throw Canada into the mix, but the other problem is I really want the health-care plans I've always had in the U.S. That also knocks Australia out, which otherwise would be a tantalizing option.

In the end, though, I think it's just as well that we're focusing on the U.S., as our mothers are there and we both want to be close enough to get to them quickly if they have a health emergency (his mom is 68, mine is 72), or to be able to move them near us if they someday need help with daily tasks or can't drive (both of our moms live far from any of their kids, and we're sort of the most available/highest income of the lot and would like to get in a position where the cost of living is lower so we could afford to help the moms financially if we need to).

Depressingly, all my friends in the U.S. work for public libraries (or schools) and they all get about 25 vacation days, plus 12 holidays, plus 12 sick days.  Which is better than I get here.  Bah!!  But that makes me feel better about moving back home and getting a public library job. 

Our house just went on the market  :\\\'(

I am so sad. I LOVE this house. Dh mentioned the whole "settled" thing too and I felt settled until he found this job in the US. Now all of a sudden my life is up in the air again. I will have to say goodbye to friends and family (his and I adore them) and move to a totally new area, resettle. Buy another house etc... It will be good, but this is so much different than when I moved here. It's very bittersweet for me.

Dh thinks moving to America is going to be better for education, housing, cost of living and he's always wanted to live there. I always point out the weather (most likely moving to texas), but he says it's not a big factor for him (is that a guy thing?).

I think it's better for cost of living, housing, convenience (everyday conveniences since I already know the systems), shopping, and it's easier to see my family more often.

However, if we ended up staying here a little longer, I wouldn't be upset at all. My career (pilates instructor) is just taking off and have more training to complete.

It's funny, talk of being "settled" would've sounded like something old people wanted to do when I was a teenager! But now I'm 37 and have learned that life has enough unsettling things as it is -- comfort and convenience are beautiful things these days! (Now I'll just go back to watching Lawrence Welk. )