The Final Stretch - Give me SANITY

This is going to be nothing but an incoherent rant, so feel free to ignore it or send me drugs.

So my little baby boy is due to scream his way out of my body in 5 weeks.   FIVE WEEKS. Motherhood. Impending. Oh. My. God. And I'm wondering if there's a condition called Pregnancy Insanity that can be the scape-goat for the state of my brain, and my behaviour... I'm making quiches, I'm cleaning ceilings, I'm getting upset over things that wouldn't in "normal" life upset me, it's as if I wake up and can actually smell a cloud of crazy-horomones circling around my face, tempting me to have another mood swing that leaves my husband staring at me blankly out of fear of what to do next.

Fortunately my body isn't letting me over-do anything, mainly because my body isn't letting me be in any one position for more than 10 minutes or so, and is forcing me to lay down quite a lot. Which is good. Maybe I'm supposed to be insane so that my the time I go into labour I don't *care* how much it hurts since I just want him to be *here* already.

But I'm also going to miss being pregnant, as hard as it's been on my body. Right now he's just mine, I'm his cocoon, I'm giving him absolutely everything he needs in this universe. Pretty soon I'll have to share him. I won't feel him rolling and kicking anymore, and it's such a private, gorgeous, intimate feeling that I think I'll be sad when it goes... I know it will be replaced by other fabulous things, like being able to kiss him and love on him and watch him grow and see him smile and see his daddy holding him... funny how 9 months seems like for freaking ever until I start talking about it this way, and now it feels like it hasn't gone on long enough and I wish he could wait an extra month or so.

Fickle? Me? Never.

I just want at least one person to tell me that in their final month of pregnancy they felt totally insane as well, like their bodies have absolutely taken over everything and you felt like you couldn't control anything, like you felt like a dork for having to ask for help to get things off the bottom shelf of the refrigerator, like you couldn't wait for it to be over while at the exact same time wishing it wouldn't end so quickly, like you have to clean and organize the entire world, and like you've ony got 3/4 of a functioning brain...

My husband says my diminished brain power must mean that Philip is absorbing it, so at least we'll have a smart baby who can support us in our senility.

I know exactly what you are going thru I went thru it just before Juliona was born, the cleaning is wanting everything to be perfect for you new little one that will be coming home with you from the hospital, the worriedness about the empty feeling is normal as well, to be honest it is going to happen you will have a huge void in your body even though he is in your arms now the void in your body will still be there. It is all temporay though.

I just hope you dont go thru what I did I had sever post partum depression before I left the hospital it kicked in and lasted bout a week after I got home I was so worried bout doing the right things and the fact that she was having trouble feeding didnt help any (found out my milk never came in so in a way she was starving a little, cant tell it now though lol "chunky munky") but having a great husband to help you out thru it all will be a great gift!!!

Thanks for that. And yeah, I do definitely have a spectacularly great husband... God it's nice to hear that I'm somewhat normal!

VERY normal also VERY pregnant

Incredibly normal.  I think you're right, it is your body's way of making you happy to go through the pain of labor just to have your body back!!

I was so tired of feeling like my body was not my own.  I wanted to wear normal clothes.  I wanted to wear high-heel shoes (or failing that, it would have been nice just to be able to *tie* my shoes myself!)
I wanted a drink.  I wanted a cigarette.  I wanted to sleep comfortably.  I wanted my body to belong to me again, and there were times where I seriously felt like I wasn't even part of myself anymore, because my body was so unrecognizeable and strange.

So no, you're definitely not crazy.  You actually seem pretty sane compared to where I was!

Hmmm, it all sounds completely normal to me!  

Awww, Marlespo. You sound normal!   I'll add my "been there" too. During the last month of this latest pregnancy with Jed, I found the strangest things in the fridge but couldn't remember putting them there, couldn't even carry on a decent conversation because I'd forget what was being discussed, etc......

Sounds like you are nesting! At least your house will be clean once you get home with the baby!  

I agree with what SAF said about your body making you want to go through labor. My MIL, a mother of 6, has said to me during each of my pregnancies that once you don't care about the pain of the impending labor and birth, that means you are ready!

I feel for you, hon, having just been through it a few weeks ago. I'm still trying to find things I "hid" during my last month. Will be thinking of you and wishing the best for you and baby.

The funny thing about my nesting is that it's mostly organizing things, not the down & dirty cleaning - - - like I've alpahabetized our filing cabinest and organized the tabs so they make nice little easy-to-find rows... and countless other things like that. My MIL is an absolute ANGEL and she's been coming over every week to clean the floors and do the things that are difficult for me - I swear she's nesting as bad as I am, this is grandbaby #1 for her!

Oh, it's insanity - but enjoy it because it's over so quick. And the NEXT TIME you get pregnant, you'll be far too busy with Philip to have time to even think about being insane! And no one will be fussed because you'll be an official "old pro" at pregnancy. So enjoy all the fussing now! Cherish it!

Well I had my 36 week homevisit appointment yesterday and everything is fine except my blood platelets are too low for comfort so I have to get blood drawn weekly until Philip is born just to be on the safe side. He is however fully engaged, aimed & ready to go, so please please please let's have this baby sooner rather than later! I'm ready plus five. Also - he was measuring huge at all his other appointments, and now he's normal! So he was apparently being caught during growth spurts and it now looks like he'll be a normal sized baby (phew)!

That is great news at least you wont be tring to push a huge baby out then.

hope eveyrthing goes as planned from here on out
just remember that if you do go early he will be fine he is pretty much fully developed and ready to go.