"Safe" amount of time apart?

I don't blame you for worrying, I've actually wondered myself if they would ever get suspicious and give me hassle for my constant visits. But its never been an issue, and then I also figure that they can see from the stamps on my passport that I've came and went before with no problems so obviously I'm following the rules and going home when I'm supposed to

Yeah, I know. I've been in and out a LOT in the past two years because of the student visa, and I've always followed the rules, but now that we're engaged and The End Is In Sight, I'm just having a hard time shaking visions of something going wrong between now and next August and it'll all go down the crapper before the finish line, as unlikely as that may be.

And even though it's rare, people do get turned away, so I can't tell myself I'm being entirely ridiculous because there's always that fraction of a chance. I try and tell myself that I have a skewed perception of things because I read so many boards and hear so many bad experiences, but it doesn't always help ease my fears, even if they're irrational.

Before I moved, Alex and I were seeing each other about every two months on average.  Never had a problem at either Heathrow or Logan.  I totally understand your worries about something fouling up things before the wedding.  I told my Dad to let Mom do all the talking when they landed at Gatwick when they came over for the wedding because I was worried he'd say something dumb.  LOL.

It never even occurred to me that we'd have a problem when we were going back and forth pretty often - even  when I did get questioned once! 

But a piece of advice - always make sure they stamp you in at immigration.  The one time I did get hassled, it was because they hadn't stamped my passport at immigration in New York when I returned home from my last visit, so there was no record of the date I entered the US.  They asked me a few questions (What are you here for?  I said visiting.  Then it was Who are you visiting?  and I said a friend and the officer said A BOYfriend?  like I was 12 years old or something!), but luckily the guy understood - he was the one who told me they dont' always stamp you in in your home country even though they're supposed to.

I always make sure I get stamped when I come back in the US!  I had to ask the last time and I told the officer why.  He said understood.

I've only really been questioned hard when I go through Gatwick. I'm not sure why?  The two times I've been through there where quick weekend trips.  Two weeks ago I had to show my return ticket.  I've never had to do that before.  I was only staying three days and I told her that when she asked 4 different times!  She asked to see a business card of mine as well?  That was a first.

It is funny what they seem to hone in on.  I put Press Officer on my landing card and they asked me who I was a press officer for - I think they were thinking super secret government information, etc - I was like Um, a dance company...

I guess they're just doing their job, but I'm always surprised that travel between the US and the UK isn't easier.

I always have this worry too. DF is always telling me to calm down. Glad he's the one making the trip this time (next week!) because he never seems to worry about coming in the US.

We average 3-5 months apart at a time, with visits so far between 3 weeks and 3 months duration. His next time is for only 2 weeks, and he'll be here again in the fall for our wedding before we move to the UK. I've only been to the UK 3 times, for a total of 6 months in all, but each time I worry like crazy.  Except the first time, because I had no idea I could be told to go home...and I'm pretty lucky I didn't, I'm sure, because it was a brand new passport, my first international travel, I was alone, and I was only 18 years old. I even told them I was there to meet my boyfriend, whom I had met online...I got a bit of grilling, and they called him on the phone in the airport, but they let me in with a full visa within 15 minutes time.

They ask to see my return ticket everytime, and they have asked to see the money I have with me, and my school ID (that was my main tie home beyond part time work). I think the school ID is what convinced them the most that I'd be going back home. Also, the last time I went was this past Christmas, and it was the first time I'd gone through immigration engaged...I did take off my ring and put it on my right hand instead and said I was visiting my boyfriend (because technically he still is, right?)...they never even asked anything beyond that. It gave me peace of mind at least.

I don't know how to make you not worry.  Let me know how if you find out! 

Oh, and congrats on getting married!

I must be the only one who's never had any problems visiting the UK! The only time I was grilled was when I was moving here and had a visa!

I've never had problems either. Never asked to see a return ticket, never asked about funds.
Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.

The only time my passport has been stamped in the US was the first time I went to the UK. After that I haven't had any stamps. I never thought of that as being proof I went home when I was supposed to...When I move over there I'll end up being one of the people who track down immigration officers if needed to make sure to get the stamps.

I did notice the last time I went that the immigration officer was fairly relaxed at first, tensed when I said I was visiting a boyfriend, then relaxed again when I said that I was a teacher and the school was on vacation. He did ask about US schools having break in March, but I just replied by saying each state is different, but most Universities have it in March but the school I teach at has the break in April. I was surprised he knew about Spring Break!

I must be the only one who's never had any problems visiting the UK! The only time I was grilled was when I was moving here and had a visa!

Same here. I was never questioned, outside of the time that I came in a few weeks after my student visa expired (I was traveling the Continent, and was stopping  back in the UK to pick up my stuff and head back to the US), but I had my return ticket to the US and other supporting info ready for the IO (even volunteered it upfront).

However, when I came in with my spousal visa, I swear, it was if it was the first time the IO had seen one. She just seemed so confused. It was all fine in the end, just...strange.

My husband never worried coming into the US, and never got as much as a raised eyebrow. I would always make him go over what to say, and he would act as if I was crazy.

I must be the only one who's never had any problems visiting the UK! The only time I was grilled was when I was moving here and had a visa!

Same here. 

I never thought about making sure to get your passport stamped upon re-entry into the US!  I will definitely do that because I am here on a visitor's visa, staying the full 6 months and then going back to get my fiancee visa.  I definitely want them to see I returned when I was supposed to when looking at my passport.

Many short visits was not the way to go for me, so I came over for the full 6 months as a visitor. I was grilled at the Manchester airport.  I was honest and did say I was visiting my boyfriend. I did have a copy of my bank statement showing my savings, which the officer said it was a very good thing I had. The officer then called my boyfriend (who was waiting for me in arrivals) and asked him the same questions she asked me about our relationship and of course everything matched up because we were telling the truth.  She then asked him if we were getting married and he said, "not in the next 6 months".  The officer told me to get a visa for my next visit and apologized for the hold up.  I told her I expected some questioning and totally understood why she had to do it.

Reading all the horror stories on this site I see now just how lucky I was.  When the officer asked me why I was coming for such a long period of time I naively and sweetly (and honestly) said, "Because we just want to be together."  She was taking notes and replied, "I'll write down "to test the relationship"".  She was also wondering how my boss would let me have off so  much time from work and I said, "Well, I've been with the company 14 years"  Again it was the truth.  All in all I was polite (tried not to let my extreme nervousness show) and she was polite as well.  Maybe it was good at the time I didn't know about all the horror stories about people being turned away or I would have passed out from nerves!

I never ben really questioned either and I have been back and forth a great deal as well.  Like an idiot however, I didn't bring along my acceptance letter for my year study abroad, and had left all my other information about it on my carry-on.   I just explained and he let me through. 

That was before you needed a visa for studying, but I did have to register with the police.  I think they stopped that later that year.

I am glad I came upon this thread because it answered some questions for me....but it also has me asking some....
I have been back and forth to the UK now a few times a year for the past 3 years....the first time I went there and said I was going to see my bf I was asked how we met and if I ever met him before...and then once I answered honestly I was let thru....the other time I had an issue was last August...I was staying in the UK on my passport for 6 months I went May to Aug..and had to go home for a week to see my family and then I came back till November..I flew into Bristol airport and I gave my passport and the guy asked me why I was coming back and for how long....I was honest with him telling him that I was living with my bf to see if it would work...I had a bank statement with me...but he never asked to see it...he asked me would my bf be able to support me....I said he would if I asked but he doesn't have to because I have my own money and can support myself...he said that I could go thru but next time I enter the UK I need to have a Visa....I don't think that is right....it says on my passport it is good for 6 month stay but doesn't say you can only stay once...I am only going over for 2 weeks...but now from reading this thread I am wondering if they are not going to let me in or not?
And what happens if I want to stay for 6 months again....I wouldn't think it should bother them if I could prove to them I could afford it right?

why does the LDR thing have to be so hard sometimes....lol

Dar, almarial, include me in on castle crawls.  I left uni before finishing my degree, which would have been in medieval studies, but I'm still fascinated, especially regarding women's studies (my special area of interest was/is clothing).