I just wonder, what is being taught the child in all this. It's a court ordered phone visitation, so her dad can talk to her before she goes to school and have a little involvement in her life. And she is blowing it off - not just once, but all the time. So what is being taught?
A) Courts don't matter, judge's orders don't matter, the law doesn't matter - you just do your own thing
B) Her dad doesn't matter - you just do your own thing
C) Consideration for others or learning how to deal with people and situations you would rather not does not matter.
D) Having manners and being polite does not matter.
If she doesn't like her dad or doesn't want to deal with him or whatever, it's still court-ordered time. The least her mom could do is teach her that sometimes in life you have to do things you don't want to, you have to be polite to people you don't like, and you have to show consideration for other's feelings by doing things that you'd rather not. And her mom could make sure she takes the call. Even if she is a sullen brat on the phone, that's got to be a step better for her dad than not even answering the phone (he should have an idea that with or without the mother's influence that age will start bringing attitude in buckets).
But her mom isn't even doing that. Her mom mightn't even be around when the call is scheduled (apparently it's a cell phone?). Her mom is blowing it off just as much as the kid is.
I don't want to be blaming the mother, we don't know all sides to this, but it doesn't look good for her, and this is without even getting to the point where the voicemail is made public.
Even if the guy is the biggest a**hole in the world, how does violating the court visitation help? Cause that gives the a**hole ammunition to go to court and say, "I'm not getting my visitation" and cause more problems. Wouldn't the easier thing to be to have the daughter just take the call and be done with it?
Whatever the case is, I think that the tactic of releasing the voicemail has monumentally backfired on the mother, big time.
Also, what I was most surprised about, when hearing the tape, was that given the people swearing up and down it was child abuse and he was scarring her for life, I was surprised at how restrained it was. I was expecting a tirade of abuse, and tbh, a tirade of abuse that was not. Very little swearing, the worst name used was pig, and the threat that was being claimed was your bogstandard parental threat which could mean anything (and nothing). Given how angry he was, and it is clear he is pissed off, he could have been a lot worse.
And I think a lot of parents who hear it are going to hear themselves, and are going to understand. So there's another backfire to the mother's plan.
I am in no way condoning abuse. I just think there is more to the story than what we got and even if he is an angry guy, I'm not 100% that amounts to abuse. Especially if you have a situtation where someone else is manipulating that anger and winding it up to make themselves look like the victim. In reality, that makes the angry dude the victim, not the manipulator.
It's just awfully sad, what a waste of time and lives. How much could they have done with themselves if they weren't wrapped in this never-ending clusterfck sprial of bullsh!t? Some personalities just need to stay away from each other, otherwise together they are just a black-hole of angst.
Her dad is making the effort, which should be a positive, not a negative.
Thinking about this just makes me sad. Such wasted energy.
