Cultural differences in marriage?

Technically I'm the expat, not the spouse of, but I wasn't sure where this post shoudl go...

How much do you feel cultural differences affect your marriage/relationship? I never thought it was a big deal until recently - I'm starting to realize that in addition to all of the everyday strains and stresses of a "normal" relationship, we have a whole other dynamic to deal with.  It's interesting...

in addition to all of the everyday strains and stresses of a "normal" relationship, we have a whole other dynamic to deal with. 

examples?

What sort of things are you thinking of? I'm sure there are differences between us that are cultural but I think I tend to put things like that down to just being different people.  I mean there are obvious things, llike he wants to watch American sports and eat certain foods that aren't available here but I think you mean something deeper than that?

The biggest cultural difference that I've observed is that Americans tend to let their feelings known, while most Brits keep things pent up (my MIL is a walking time bomb as far as that's concerned). My husband is similar.

The biggest cultural difference that I've observed is that Americans tend to let their feelings known, while most Brits keep things pent up (my MIL is a walking time bomb as far as that's concerned).

Yes!  DF isn't very vocal about his feelings.  In person, I can see them (sort of--only because I have practice), but, if something bothers him, he tends to ignore it.  Drives me crazy!

I've felt this as well.  We've had a bit of an argument because of it as well.  There are things that culturally, I as an American, do differently.  I shouldn't be faulted for not knowing unless he tells me.

One example....
We had a bit of an argument over the holidays because I was sitting at dinner next to one of his friends and I patted him, his friend, on the back.  I was told that I was flirting.  I disrespected my bf and embarrassed him in front of his friends!?  BF saw me do it and it wasn't until someone mentioned it to him later that he got furious.  Of course I WASN'T flirting!!!!  I didn't even remember doing it until he mentioned it.  That's how insignificant it was.  The entire table was telling a story to me to embarrass the friend.  I patted him on the back as an "It's okay" kind of thing...two quick pats...that was it.

It was made clear to me that people DO NOT touch each other in casual conversation and I should have NEVER touched him.  I am an "attached" woman and it was inappropriate behavior.  The exact phrase that was used, "I know you all do this in America, but here it's not appropriate!"  I find this confusing since we kiss each other on each cheek as a greeting???  IMO that's a bit more personal than a pat on the back.

I've felt this as well.  We've had a bit of an argument because of it as well.  There are things that culturally, I as an American, do differently.  I shouldn't be faulted for not knowing unless he tells me.

One example....
We had a bit of an argument over the holidays because I was sitting at dinner next to one of his friends and I patted him, his friend, on the back.  I was told that I was flirting.  I disrespected my bf and embarrassed him in front of his friends!?  BF saw me do it and it wasn't until someone mentioned it to him later that he got furious.  Of course I WASN'T flirting!!!!  I didn't even remember doing it until he mentioned it.  That's how insignificant it was.  The entire table was telling a story to me to embarrass the friend.  I patted him on the back as an "It's okay" kind of thing...two quick pats...that was it.

It was made clear to me that people DO NOT touch each other in casual conversation and I should have NEVER touched him.  I am an "attached" woman and it was inappropriate behavior.  The exact phrase that was used, "I know you all do this in America, but here it's not appropriate!"  I find this confusing since we kiss each other on each cheek as a greeting???  IMO that's a bit more personal than a pat on the back.

Oh, wow, that's different!  And good to know!  Will keep me from making the same mistake!

man oh man... all of andy's friend must think i'm hitting on them constantly. 

man oh man... all of andy's friend must think i'm hitting on them constantly. 

Two days after this one of his married friends put his arm around me??? Why was that okay.  Because he was married and the other friend was single?
I don't get it.

Hmmm.....I think that "cultural difference" may be particular to your spouse?

It was made clear to me that people DO NOT touch each other in casual conversation and I should have NEVER touched him.  I am an "attached" woman and it was inappropriate behavior.  The exact phrase that was used, "I know you all do this in America, but here it's not appropriate!" 

Sorry Mekaw, but i think this is just your boyfriend being jealous (?) and blowing things out of proportion.   

i agree that brits do "seem" to me to be less touchy/feely than americans.  at least the ones i've come across.  but it def seems that he overeacted about patting someone on the shoulder....

Mekaw, I think it was ridiculous for you to be taken to task over a friendly couple of pats on the back. I'd do the same thing if people were taking the piss out of someone.

IMO - you are all right!  Yes, he's jealous and over-reacted!  I told him that.  It was only because someone else at the dinner made mention to him about it.

He knows I'm a touchy person...but to say "we don't do that here" made me think and feel it was a cultural difference.  If not - I'm going to keep grabbing!

Nah, I think you'll find that "cultural difference" the world over - it's called insecurity/jealousy!