gift registry dilemas

Again I have to agree with Peedal.  She knows her stuff!  The magazines are not worth buying.  I looked at a few for ideas on flowers but you will start to feel overwhelmed.  They said an average wedding in the Boston area would be $10,000.  Now I know you can get married on much much less.  I found a great cake that cost $600.00.  Yes six hundred.  I said no way and will get two cakes from Costco totalling $30.00.  The cakes are delicious and I refuse to pay those prices.  Not for a cake.  Personally, think about the things most important to you and your fiance.  If you can then find a less expensive way to get that - then do it.  I started getting sick and tired of hearing "its your wedding" then being told how it should be done.  LOL I tell you it can drive you batty.  But if it really is your wedding then tell them how you want it done.  They'll come around.  Good luck.

I'm so glad I found this thread! I'm new to the site so still finding all the forums and threads.  

I'm having a similar dilemma with registrys. We do need lots of stuff and will be in the UK for some time, but the reality is that I'm not happy with the department stores here. Generally, I prefer John Lewis, but they don't have the dishes we want (Denby White which is exclusive to Debenhams). So we checked out Debenhams and our store in Exeter is small so doesn't have a huge selection. They said I'd have to go to Plymouth if I wanted a better selection. I know this is American of me to want a wide choice but Debenhams in Exeter have the WORST glassware!

So, we can go to Plymouth or maybe Bristol to register but we'd have to arrange to pick the gifts up as they won't deliver out of a certain area!

On top of this, no one can tell me if, when we do register, if our American guests will be able to use their American issued credit cards on the web site. And now I've read on this thread that their web site isn't working anyway! Oh I want my Crate and Barrel!

Hi there,

I just wanted to let you all know about the service that I recently used for my wedding here in Scotland. I was concerned, as everyone else seems to be, about asking for money etc. So I set up an online registry at:

http://thegiftregistry.info/

What happens is they send you a book in which you choose items from like 10 or 15 UK stores. I was still in the States when I did mine, so I used stores that had online catalogs like the Pier, John Lewis, Laura Ashley, and Argos. You send them back the book, and they put your list online 7 weeks (or so) before your wedding. They even give you little cards to include with your announcements/invitations. Your friends and family log into the website and choose what they want to buy you. The website people go out and buy all the things FOR you, and you arrange to have it all delivered on the same day.

Our wedding was last month, and I didn't get around to calling to arrange a delivery date until last week. So now I've got to wait until May 8th to get my gifts! But they recommend you calling BEFORE your wedding to arrange a date, so you don't have to wait very long.

And what's great is that they don't charge shipping, you get PRE-PRINTED address labels to stick on your thankyou notes, and you can go back and buy anything off your list that wasn't chosen at a 10% discount after!

I still don't have my pressies, but when they do come, I'll let people know how it went, if anyone is interested in using this service. It's been brilliant so far!

-kate

Modified to add:

PS- my American friends and family didn't have any trouble using their US credit cards on the site. Just warn them that the prices are in POUNDS to avoid heart attacks when they get the bill

We registered at Debenhams and got that same deal - being able to buy whatever was left over on our list for 10% off.  PLUS - we got, I think, 5% in credit of whatever the total was spent on our list by our guests.  So we got 10% off AND gift vouchers to help get the stuff that was left over!

My mother didn't have a problem with her US card on the Debenham's site.  But my uncle in Arizona did.  So he ended up sending money!  

As far as choice - our closest one is in Gravesend, which is very very tiny.  So we went to the one near Phil's parent's place which was the one in Romford.  We used their address as the delivery address.  No problems.  We simply picked up the gifts from their place the weekend after the wedding.

Thanks Kate, I had heard of that service but was wary of it since I didn't know anyone who had used it. I will definitely give it a closer look!  

That's how I'm feeling with all the wedding planning now plus trying to finish the writing on my PhD.

I bought my dress in the States and am now trying to figure out the best way to get it over here without paying huge customs and excise! Will it never end? I should have eloped!  

Just to second that we have shopped at Debenhams, Marks and Spencers and even Boots with no problems online.  

Balmerhon, the Plymouth stores actually do have quite a nice selection of glassware and dishes.  Dingles is nice too. Not sure when you are going over or if you are over, but they are also buliding a huge new shopping mall so the shopping selection is going to get even better.  

There is also a artisanal glassworks place ont he waterfront in the Barbican for some of those more unique pieces.  We got a lovely vase from there for our wedding.  

Not sure if this helps.

Also regarding your dress, I think you should not have a problem brigning it over.  I took mine as carry on and not one person said a thing about it or the wedding favors or anything.

We actually took over Hersey's Kisses as part of our favors. Oh and that bird friendly rice in the shape of hearts from Party City.  Everyone was greatly amused with that and the bubbles.  

Yes, I think we will go to Plymouth to do the actual registering. I'm already in Exmouth so Plymouth is only about an hour or so from here.

As for my dress, right now I can't afford to travel home to collect the dress so we're hoping to enlist some friends who are coming over this spring. We don't have a confirmation yet, though on that. If we send it by mail or Fed Ex and declare the actual value of it, we are subject to VAT on the dress value and a customs and excise charge of 12% on the value of the dress + value of insurance + shipping cost! Heck, that might actually end up being a plane ticket home to get it instead!

The customs and excise office basically told me that getting it through the airport would be far easier than shipping it!

I'd like to do kisses but the fiance actually doesn't like Hersheys!  

Now you've got me wondering if shipping a wedding dress from here to the US will be a problem?? How do you show US customs that the dress is a 'gift' or 'used'? We were trying to avoid having to carry the dress on the flight....and were going to ship to my mother who lives outside of Vegas (Vegas wedding)....do you think there would be a problem?

I can't say for sure that sending it to the US will be a problem. I can tell you that if you contact customs and excise in the UK and tell them what you are doing (dress form US to UK), they will give you a 'by the book' answer. I did ask what would be the case if the dress were old (ie my mother's) but they did not seem impressed with that and seemed to indicate it wouldn't matter! The problem with shipping things as a gift to the UK is that the official limit is only £36 per box! I'm not sure I want to risk sending a $800 dress and only claiming the value as £36.

I hope this helps some. It's very confusing and stressful!!

The other thing you have to be aware of about shipping is that boxes are searched. I've even seen on TV where they actually DRILL into suspect boxes for drugs (though I'd hope they xray them first)!

Your best bet is to look at the US customs web site and if that doesn't clarify it, call them. You may be better off carrying it on the plane as the customs officers in the US are far less likely to search you.

That said, if you look like the 'profile' they are after these days, maybe not. I recently flew to Baltimore and watched several Jewish and arabic looking people pulled aside for luggage searches!