How do you do it and is it worth it?

Badmoon,
Is that the AWE site at Aldermaston in Hampshire (just over Berkshire border)?
I've played tennis there a couple of times, they have pretty good artificial grass courts.

I suppose you could look to live closer to Newbury or one of the Hampshire villages which might be a bit cheaper being farther out than Reading and London.

All of this is to say you trade off what you want for what you need, what you use for what you don't, and sometimes the difference in culture makes those choices for you.

That's exactly it, in a nutshell. Brilliant, Stella! 

Yeah, AWE is in Aldermaston...it is of course very expensive to live there! But it would be worth it to live somewhere close by like Reading or Newbury if my DH did't have to commute very far (we've heard they have car share programs and a lot of buses and the like) so we wouldn't have to get a car.

Thanks to the other parents out there! I know my lifestyle will change when baby comes...but it is hard to imagine since he isn't here yet! Although I suspect my early mornings writing at coffee shops might be a little more complicated.

I have been to England with my DH for Chrismas. His parents live in Petts Wood just outside London, but started in the housing market very early on in their life and as they say "Paid 5 times the price of a Citron 2V (sp?)" for their house that is now worth well over 500,000 and that is an attached 3 bedroom 2 bath with an extra loft bedroom at the very top.

My worry does come from what pp have suggested that we'll move, we'll struggle, but then we may never get out of the struggle. If I had the extra money, I would try my hardest to get on the property ladder from the get go, even if it meant living in a miniscule place for a year or so, at least it would be equity...but I'm thinking that isn't going to happen for awhile  . Luckily this is a job my DH would have secured before he moved, but I didn't think about asking for relocation expenses. It would be so great to get a little extra help with rental deposits and the like.

Even though it "seems" like we get more for our dollar in the U.S. I don't know if that is really true many places (except for Albuquerque perhaps!). Right now, even on the high salary my DH makes and the miniscule salary I bring in as a graduate student teacher assistant we have just now made it into a position to crawl out from under some credit card debt. The goal for moving to the UK would be NOT to accumulate more debt since it will all be eliminated by the time we move.

But maybe this is just a pipe dream? That financial advisor Suze Orman is always saying that the up and coming generations are going to be a debt generation and the important thing is to know what is "worthy" debt (like student loans etc.) and what is not worthy debt. I just hope I actually know the difference. I keep thinking, okay, so this year my DH and I have managed to live without using credit cards, and if we do we can pay them off right away, and we have managed to pay off debt and put aside money for moving. What if this all goes to heck once we move?

Then I think about the reasons to move some of which included initially the ability to travel many places cheaper than I can here, access to great free cultural exhibits, museums, a large variety of culture in London, being close to family (DH's), but now I wonder...with such a tight budget traveling to the city every weekend won't be a viable option and if i can barely save enough money to put a downpayment on a house how can I afford vacations and such?

Also, to be honest, this is my biggest fear, I had a great time being near London when I went to visit England at Christmas with hubby...but I'm SO worried about moving too far out of a city environment. I'm worried I'll get lonely and feel isolated. I've noticed too that the English Pub is basically the equivalent of an American coffee house....but what if I really miss my coffee house?! and there is none to be found for miles and miles!

I'm SO glad I found this messaging board. The honest advice has been so helpful.

P.S. Is 30-40,000/year REALLY considered higher income? I was suprised at the PP about council housing, tax credits and other social services. It seems like so little for a family to live on! I guess if other people can do it though....

I'm a bit scared too We're taking the plunge in August. My employer is finally sitting down with me for the first time today to talk specifics because I have to give my notice at my apt complex tomorrow if we're going to do this. I'll be making 35K (pounds) and we're still working out my husband's position (we work at the same place) so I'm not sure if initially it will just be my salary or not.

julia_atlanta--I found a really good UK Salary Calculator at www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk and I also found a really good Home Budget Calculator at www.thisismoney.co.uk/calculators. I looked up council tax costs for the County I'm looking at (in my case it was on the West Berkshire County webpage). I know there are other sights where you can look up transportation costs etc. Like some other PP said, I would ask about relocation compensation AND I'm going to ask DH what his job might pitch in for transportation costs (like a monthly train pass which are pretty pricey!). Anyway, I hope that helps you work out a budget. Putting one together is why I've spent all this time asking others if it is a feasible move! Good luck! I do wish I was moving sooner rather than having to wait until NEXT August!

Thanks to the other parents out there! I know my lifestyle will change when baby comes...but it is hard to imagine since he isn't here yet! Although I suspect my early mornings writing at coffee shops might be a little more complicated.

Yes, they will be, especially with a new baby. Complicated is not the word for it.

Then I think about the reasons to move some of which included initially the ability to travel many places cheaper than I can here, access to great free cultural exhibits, museums, a large variety of culture in London, being close to family (DH's), but now I wonder...with such a tight budget traveling to the city every weekend won't be a viable option and if i can barely save enough money to put a downpayment on a house how can I afford vacations and such?

You can't. You will have to choose, and work towards your goal. But just remember, living here is far different from visiting - I don't mean to be stating the obvious but what I mean is that when you live in a place, you don't do stuff you think you would from visiting the place. Yes, there are incredibly cheap flights to all sorts of neat places in Europe, and you are surrounded by all sorts of historical sites of interest and whatnot, but the day to day reality of living here means you probably won't get out to see them, unless you make an extra effort. And believe me, moving house from one country to another, being pregnant and having a new baby, settling into a new area and job, real "normal" life doesn't begin right away. It takes months and sometimes even years to finally settle in and click and be able to stretch out beyond your normal daily life. So what I would suggest is not to be overambitious in your planning; you will get to do these things but they shouldn't be at the forefront of your worries (although I can understand why they would be at the fore of daydreams!).

I don't know where you live in the states but think about all the cool stuff that you are near to, tourist stuff and whatever, and think of what if any of it you and your husband or perhaps just your husband has seen. If you've managed to see a lot of it, fair play to you, you'll figure out how to do it here, too. If not, you can maybe start to see how reality has a way of taking over.

Also, to be honest, this is my biggest fear, I had a great time being near London when I went to visit England at Christmas with hubby...but I'm SO worried about moving too far out of a city environment. I'm worried I'll get lonely and feel isolated. I've noticed too that the English Pub is basically the equivalent of an American coffee house....but what if I really miss my coffee house?! and there is none to be found for miles and miles!

I'm SO glad I found this messaging board. The honest advice has been so helpful.

You will get lonely and feel isolated. This board is a great resource for it. You will get homesick and you will go through culture shock. You'll go through the honeymoon period and then come winter or so, you will hit the skids and start to realize, holy crap, this is my life now! Combine that with the new baby issues and you will be in for a doozie. But you'll get through it - we all do, someway or another.

P.S. Is 30-40,000/year REALLY considered higher income? I was suprised at the PP about council housing, tax credits and other social services. It seems like so little for a family to live on! I guess if other people can do it though....

It wouldn't be rich but it would not be poor. You could live quite comfortably on it, no question.

The lifestyle is really different here. You do without more than you do with - and you don't mind. You realize how much you already have.

What does PP mean?

Hey badmoon, DW's mother lives about 5 minutes from Petts Wood in Bromley Common.  We're on the other side of Berkshire from where you'll be just over the border in Buckinghamshire.  It takes us about 1.5 hours to get down there, I suspect it'll be about the same journey time for you, just to give you an idea - that is to drive.  You can do it on the train if you take First Great Western to Paddington and then go to Victoria and down to Bromley South or Petts Wood or whatever station is nearest/best, maybe 1.5 - 2 hours journey?

Regarding coffee shops, they do have them here.  They have Starbucks of course but also Costa Coffee, Cafe Nero and a few non-chain ones.  You'll most likely find them in towns so if you value the ability to wander to your coffee shop and also good public transport I'd look at living in one of the towns.  I've not been to Newbury but I imagine the centre is like many other English towns.  Reading can be expensive because the train links to London are phenomenal and the shopping is excellent.  Basingstoke just over the border in Hampshire is another possibility although I've only been by there on the motorway.  Wokingham looks like a lovely village/town and a bit further east is Bracknell although it doesn't win marks for beauty!

One thing I'd suggest if you are having a baby while over there is the National Childbirth Trust (NCT)  http://www.nct.org.uk/  They are a brilliant organization and we've met some lovely new mums and dads that we get together with all of the time.  It costs a little bit to join and the series ante-natal classes is over £100 but it is a lot better than the NHS classes.  The NCT does "nearly new" sales all the time all over the country where you can buy and sell all kinds of baby and kids stuff.  Not sure what your timeline is for being over here and when baby is due.  It's a real lifeline.  DW gets together for coffee and all kinds of other stuff with the other mums.

Then I think about the reasons to move some of which included initially the ability to travel many places cheaper than I can here, access to great free cultural exhibits, museums, a large variety of culture in London, being close to family (DH's), but now I wonder...with such a tight budget traveling to the city every weekend won't be a viable option and if i can barely save enough money to put a downpayment on a house how can I afford vacations and such?

It is going to be unlikely you can travel to London every weekend (especially with a baby, I'm afraid). I live just 2 hours from London and I visit the city maybe once every 2 years!! I've only been there 4 times since 2002 - a day trip to meet up with my aunt and cousins (2005), a day trip with my best friend (2004), for my visa interview at the US embassy (2003) and to take the GRE (2007).

Also, to be honest, this is my biggest fear, I had a great time being near London when I went to visit England at Christmas with hubby...but I'm SO worried about moving too far out of a city environment. I'm worried I'll get lonely and feel isolated. I've noticed too that the English Pub is basically the equivalent of an American coffee house....but what if I really miss my coffee house?! and there is none to be found for miles and miles!

You know what? I felt more isolated in Albuquerque than I have ever done in England and I technically live in 'the country'!! I had no car in the US, so my only option for getting around Albuquerque was the Central bus, followed by the Louisiana bus to Coronado mall!! I never made it to Old Town, or to anywhere else in the city, and the only time I managed to leave the city in semester time was on an OIPS organised trip or when my parents came to visit (7 months after I arrived)!!

Here in the UK, my town is classed being in the country, but a 15-minute drive (20-minute bus journey) gets you to the largest shopping mall complex in the region (150 shops, 12-screen cinema, bowling alley, TGI's etc.) and on that 15-minute drive, I pass through 8 towns and villages!! A further 20-minute drive on is a city of 400,000 people - which I currently drive into every day of the week!!

Although you can feel isolated in some areas of the UK, it's not like the US, where you can drive for hours and not see a single town. England is 1/3 the size of New Mexico, but has almost 30 times the population - there are towns and villages pretty much everywhere (we're an overpopulated country - 976 people per sq. mile, compared to NM which has on average 15 per sq. mile). For example, my county is one of the smallest in England (less than 200 sq. miles), yet there are 1/4 million people living in it - the largest town in the county is the one I live in, which has about 14,000 people (and it's considered to be 'the countryside').

P.S. Is 30-40,000/year REALLY considered higher income? I was suprised at the PP about council housing, tax credits and other social services. It seems like so little for a family to live on! I guess if other people can do it though....

In general, yes. My mum has been working at the same computer programming job for 15 years and after several salary increases, she's still making only about £30,000. My dad is a self-employed percussion teacher (goes round to local schools) and is earning maybe £13,000-£15,000.

To give an example, if your household income is less than a certain threshold, the government will contribute towards your child's university fees and you will be entitled to extra student loan. This threshold is currently about £21,000 (if I remember correctly). Even just counting my mum's salary, my parents earned way to much for me or my brother to be entitled to any government money for university - we were considered 'rich' according to those terms.

with the possible exception of Child Tax Credit if that child is being cared for by a registered childminder

Actually this is not true, if your child is under 1 yo then your household can earn up to £66K before you are no longer eligible for child tax credit.  If the child is over one then it is £58K.  This doesn't take into account having registered childminders.  Granted, when you start to reach these thresholds the amount you get tapers off quite a bit but you still get something.

As you said Child Benefit is for everyone so it doesn't matter how much you make you can claim for it.

It is going to be unlikely you can travel to London every weekend (especially with a baby, I'm afraid). I live just 2 hours from London and I visit the city maybe once every 2 years!! I've only been there 4 times since 2002 - a day trip to meet up with my aunt and cousins (2005), a day trip with my best friend (2004), for my visa interview at the US embassy (2003) and to take the GRE (2007).

Well, probably not every weekend, but it certainly is possible to go on a regular basis.  We probably go to London once every two to three months on average and have done for the last eighteen years.  But that's because it's something that's important to us.  I'm sure that there's other stuff-eating out, cinema, pubs-that other people do that we don't.  It's just all about what your own personal priorities are. 

P.S. Is 30-40,000/year REALLY considered higher income?

In many parts of the UK, yes.