end of my LDR

As for the support of my friends and family - HUMPH!  They all couldn't be more pleased this is over.  My mother "THANK GOD, now I don't have to get on a plane for an 8 hour flight!"  or the best was on the night I had my break-down..."GET OVER IT!"  My very best friend..."I knew this was doomed from the start!"  Talk about kicking me when I'm down!  So now I don't say anything to anyone.  If anyone asks me, I say I don't want to talk about it. 

OMG... people who's friends and family act this way make me so angry for the person, even though I have no right to be angry on their behalf.  Just because the person is far away doesn't mean that it still doesn't suck.  Sometimes, I think it's worse, because you are all psyched up for a big move and that can be exciting, and so you aren't losing the person, but a whole different life too.  Anyway, sorry to rant, but it does really, really bug me how unsupportive about their ldrs (and break-ups) some forum members have said the people in their lives are.  Rant over. 

Also, glad you aren't leaving the forum!   

As for the support of my friends and family - HUMPH!  They all couldn't be more pleased this is over.  My mother "THANK GOD, now I don't have to get on a plane for an 8 hour flight!"  or the best was on the night I had my break-down..."GET OVER IT!"  My very best friend..."I knew this was doomed from the start!"  Talk about kicking me when I'm down!  So now I don't say anything to anyone.  If anyone asks me, I say I don't want to talk about it. 

  What on earth would ever make saying things like that okay?! I'm very sorry to hear that your relationship ended the way it did, but all I can think of is that thank goodness he didn't do it after you moved there. Whatever his reasons, I'm glad he didn't leave you heartbroken and stranded in a foreign country. I'm glad you're staying in the forum, we'd all miss you if you disappeared! And as everyone else said, we are all here if you need someone to talk to.

 

OMG... people who's friends and family act this way make me so angry for the person, even though I have no right to be angry on their behalf.  Just because the person is far away doesn't mean that it still doesn't suck.  Sometimes, I think it's worse, because you are all psyched up for a big move and that can be exciting, and so you aren't losing the person, but a whole different life too.  Anyway, sorry to rant, but it does really, really bug me how unsupportive about their ldrs (and break-ups) some forum members have said the people in their lives are.  Rant over. 

Also, glad you aren't leaving the forum!   

I agree totally. WTF?! 

I'm glad you're sticking around - and hopefully I'll get to meet up with you in merry olde England someday!

I'm glad you're not going away.. 

And good for you for staying focussed on marathon training.  I have more than a few friends who have used marathon training to get them through the worst! 

We'll see you in London!!!  (DH and BIL may be joining you!!)

It's hard to find people who understand the crazy choices that we make in life.  Just hope that there are some who stick around to offer support no matter what.  those are the keepers!  (weeds out the riffraff too...)

As for the support of my friends and family - HUMPH!  They all couldn't be more pleased this is over.  My mother "THANK GOD, now I don't have to get on a plane for an 8 hour flight!"  or the best was on the night I had my break-down..."GET OVER IT!"  My very best friend..."I knew this was doomed from the start!"  Talk about kicking me when I'm down!  So now I don't say anything to anyone.  If anyone asks me, I say I don't want to talk about it. 

That was the same reaction my family/friends had when my LDR ended!    It made me so mad, I finally just ignored all of them for a week or so until I was able to sort myself out a bit more. My family was just happy that there was "no chance of me moving over there"  I ended up moving to England for six months anyways.

As for the support of my friends and family - HUMPH!  They all couldn't be more pleased this is over.  My mother "THANK GOD, now I don't have to get on a plane for an 8 hour flight!"  or the best was on the night I had my break-down..."GET OVER IT!"  My very best friend..."I knew this was doomed from the start!"  Talk about kicking me when I'm down!  So now I don't say anything to anyone.  If anyone asks me, I say I don't want to talk about it. 

I made a conscious effort to adopt England as my home on every visit.  I fell in love with the country and was looking forward to making it my home.  Plus I was really looking forward to meeting up with some of you!!!  Which I still can!  I'm only 20 min. from NYC and I'm sure I'll be visiting London again at some point.  The marathon is on my "To Do" list.
Thanks again so very much!
xoxo
meka

It's good that you have supportive friends on here since the ones at home don't seem to care more about your happiness.  It sounds like you really love England, maybe one day you will end up there and with the right person.  You seem like a strong and very together person, good luck with everything.

I'm glad you're finding ways to help yourself through this. That's just awful the way your family and friends have reacted. Even if they feel that way, it is just not right for them to stay it to you.

Hi, I'm a newbie, and I don't know you, but reading what you've written here really breaks my heart, no one really knows how bad a broken heart can be unless you're in that situation the distance (imho) makes it so much worse, because it feels very intangible, because it's not like their suddenly missing from your flat or your bed because they always were, they just suddenly become missing from your heart, that last connection, and oh, it feels so bad.That's probably what your family don't understand (grr) but I'm sure lots of people here will. I hope this pain lessens soon spa treatments and ice cream sound good to me!

I don't know if I'm really qualified to give advice...but I just want to say that, well, whatever his "reasons" for ending the relationship, try not to let them "invalidate" all the time and effort and energy you spent with him over the last few years.
You didn't do anything that warrants regret, you were brave and commited and you risked your heart for love, that means you're an amazing person, far better than some guy.

When I was about 16 I got involved with someone very much older than me, it was a very slow process of being friends and of trying to avoid it, but sometimes love is like a train wreck, you get on these rails and however much you fight you still end up colliding, well... he was ready to give up his life, his job, everything and come away with me...and I just couldn't do it. The pressure of being his "one" was far too much because I was a young, stupid, fool, and I ran away...and I never even said goodbye.
It took sometime to realise, but now I regret it each and every day, being a idiotic, coward in the end, I feel shame everytime I think about him, and I can't even feel happy about those times because I remember how awful I was, and I imagine what the look on his face must have been
God, I'm being so obnoxious and talking about myself...what I'm trying to say is...He's a stupid idiotic coward who will regret it one day, but I'm sure you know that...you were the better person, and the better person always prevails.
I hope you find someone worthy of your love and attention

Mekaw,

Late posting,  I hated to hear of your relationship ending, I am so sorry.

And I'm sorry your support group does not have a clue of what you need right now. They just don't know what you are going through - but lots of people on this forum can relate! 

All I can say is I hope you are feeling somewhat better soon and hugs to you.

Dawn

I just read your post, I'm so sorry. You deserve all the hugs and support you can get.

It's horrible to lose someone you love, but at least you know he cared about you and respected you and the relationship you had enough to call you and tell you that his feelings had changed. In an LDR it's easy for somone to try and fade away, or to pretend everything is ok and string you along (I believe that's happened to at least one person here, they've married, moved to the uk and then had things fall apart). But he didn't, which I think is a testament to the relationship you had and something to be proud of and maybe take some comfort in.

Yeah it really sucks that my "support" group isn't being very supportive, but then again they were never very supportive to begin with so I wasn't really that surprised on their reactions.

I do find comfort in knowing I did all I could for this relationship.  I have always put in 110% and it was something that he acknowledged.  And I did tell him that he was going to regret this, maybe not next week or next month, but eventually he would regret losing the best thing that ever happend to him!   

I do think I'm being pretty reasonable about all of this.  Hey I'm no Spring Chicken!  I've loved and lost before!  This relationship was just very different from anything I have ever experienced.  There was mutual respect and admiration on so many levels.  We had some rough times, but they were very few and far between.  And there were never any unrealistic expectations.  We discussed everything with each other.  I do appreciate that he was honest, it's just confusing and upsetting because it all seemed so sudden.

If I didn't have running, I'd be on medication.  Honestly, I think it's the best way to think things through and work out some anger! Marathon's are a part of my life.  They were before I met him and they will continue to be.  I am a bit angry because WE had discussed where I'd be living this year and I had decided not to run NYC...which, so far, is my favorite marathon.  The decision was made not only because I'd be living in the UK, but because we planned to start our family this Fall.  SO - now I'm missing NYC!   But on the positive side this means I can focus on qualifying for Boston 2008!  London is my goal 2009. 

Thanks again for all your kinds words - I'm so lucky to have you here for support!!!
I really can't thank you ALL enough!
 

Mekaw, I'm so sorry to read this    Please stay strong and know you've got tons of support!

I am late posting on this, but I wanted to chime in and say how sorry i am...I can only imagine what you are going through.  I think it's great that you are continuing to do the things you love, such as running!  I am a runner too (not a marathoner, but I have done a half marathon) and understand the therapeutic benefits of running.  London in 2008...what a great goal to work towards!

I hope your recovery from the loss of your relationship is short lived....and you are on to better things soon!