Getting to grips with being together

I know that this is going to sound odd...

It has taken me 5 months to get used to the fact that Knowles isn't going back to the USA.  I have know gotten to grips with it, but I am still finding totally relying on him or sharing the decision making a little difficult.  As I have been used to doing most things by myself with our son, etc.

Don't get me wrong.  I love the fact that we are together for good.   It's just been hard adjusting to sharing all of my space .

Porsha

It is very difficult at first.  It took me a long time to realise that I wasn't leaving...that I was here for good!  The first four or five months were hard and I relied on DH for everything as I was just totally lost here.

It'll get better!   

It took me a long time to realise that I wasn't leaving...that I was here for good!  The first four or five months were hard and I relied on DH for everything as I was just totally lost here.

Same here.  I'll have been here a year in September and it's definitely become easier with time.  That said, I've been home three times since I moved (a total anomaly - I won't be doing that every year!) and so each time I've come back to the UK, there's been a small adjustment period.

Yep.  This may sound awful, but the first few months I was here, I'd just do things like go out for a walk or a drink with friends or decide to go on a camping trip, whatever I felt like without remembering that there was someone who was expecting me to be around or who I should at least say, 'hey, I'm going to go do this, so don't worry about me' Or 'I want to do this on this date, do we have any other plans?'  The worst was, we'd both take out money from a cash point for little things and when there is double, that can add up.  We had to sit down and budget and remember to communicate about times we'd be gone, and if we were taking money out. 

Yep.  This may sound awful, but the first few months I was here, I'd just do things like go out for a walk or a drink with friends or decide to go on a camping trip, whatever I felt like without remembering that there was someone who was expecting me to be around or who I should at least say, 'hey, I'm going to go do this, so don't worry about me' Or 'I want to do this on this date, do we have any other plans?'  The worst was, we'd both take out money from a cash point for little things and when there is double, that can add up.  We had to sit down and budget and remember to communicate about times we'd be gone, and if we were taking money out. 

I am finding that we are doing all of that now .  Gosh, I can't wait for it to be easier.  Nobody understands as they always say things like "you two have been together ages... "
So glad I found this site.

I am finding that we are doing all of that now .  Gosh, I can't wait for it to be easier.  Nobody understands as they always say things like "you two have been together ages... "
So glad I found this site.

Like anyone in a LDR-turned-0DR can understand, there's a huge difference between "being together" and "BEING TOGETHER." 

Like anyone in a LDR-turned-0DR can understand, there's a huge difference between "being together" and "BEING TOGETHER." 

Definitely!

There was a big adjustment when i moved in and again when we were married. I was depressed after we got back from our honeymoon, it was really hard for me to adjust. They call it the "wedding blues". I had to see a counslor, and it took about 2 months to feel normal again. It was so weird to think I had to think about this other person now forever and that his feelings really do count and we are now together, even if we were before and that I wasn't goign home again in the foreseeable future. Scary stuff.

We've been married 8mts and I have been in the UK almost 2yrs, it has gotten sooooo much better. First, we bought a house and have more personal space, which was a big thing for me. Next, we have agreed when to start a family (in another yr) and I am going home next month to visit friends/family.

Make sure to keep in touch with family/friends or discuss it with other friends recently married. Stay away from friends that are only engaged, there is a huge difference in understanding. I can't believe the transition from being engaged to being married and how much I feel different. We are really happy together now and I wouldn't change it for anything. Any chance you two can take a romantice night or weekend away together? Might make things a little better.

Any chance you two can take a romantice night or weekend away together? Might make things a little better.

Thanks for all of your responses, makes me realise I am not abnormal!

We definantly need to, as we haven't even gone on a proper honeymoon yet.  Got to wait till my birthday in Nov for that though.

Make sure to keep in touch with family/friends or discuss it with other friends recently married. Stay away from friends that are only engaged, there is a huge difference in understanding.

I totally agree.