Pro & Con between life in UK & US

I wouldn't mind being rich, though. 

Until then, I think we're just going to have to make like ostriches and play it by ear.

I've been thinking about this alot lately...

Why are we all so concerned and some get so defensive when others state their opinions about this subject?  Obviously we all have different circumstances to why we are in the US or UK.  Some people love it in one place and hate the other.  Most of the time it takes moving to the other country before you decided it's for you or not.

Why cant we just all have some empathy for each other and not be so mean?

And yes, I understand it sux to continually hear from certain posters who constantly complain about life in the UK but do nothing to change their situation.  Even some of my dear friends back home read my blog and tell me how depressing it is!  They know I'm unhappy here, they know we are planning our move home and they have told me point blank "deal with it".  So thats what I'm trying to do now!

Anyhow, sorry for straying off subject I just wish we could all post nicely instead of so many rude and snarky responses. 

I wouldn't mind being rich, though. 

Me too! If we were, I would want a house in the US and one in the UK.  

Even though we are moving back to the states I am definitely caught between the two countries. Believe me it would be much easier to be one sided regarding preference. I want both but since we are not rich, that can't happen.    

Oh well, maybe someday.  

I think about this, too, jennredd.  And the problem seems to be that those who are unhappy make insulting remarks about how NO ONE could POSSIBLY think life in the UK is better than life in the US unless they were somehow mentally deficient.

I really can't recall a post by anyone saying that people who are happier in the US than in the UK are either  - sniffing glue, sitting too close to kitty litter, are lying to themselves, are out of their heads, are "trying" too hard - just a sample of the comments that have been made in this thread and over the years.

I've been thinking about this alot lately...

I think it's a mixed bag.  You get those who don't enjoy it here & they take action (such as you are doing).  Then you get those who don't like it here, are depressed (either generally, over their situation specifically, or both) -- and either don't or can't take action (possibly because of finances or other reasons).  It's not uncommon for people who are depressed to be nasty to other people -- in some instances, I think it's far easier to do so on an internet forum because the chances are less that you will see these people you're being nasty to.

At the same time, as someone who has finally got to the stage where I'm pretty happy with my life here (it wasn't always so), I do understand how the snarky comments (about a place that I and others love) tend to get on your last nerve sometimes.  I have to try & remember to give people the benefit of the doubt, and remember when I still felt shaky about being here, etc.  In my case when I was feeling down about things, I was ever so (sincerely) grateful when people challenged me on (what I believe were) silly overgeneralisations I was making - my husband did this, QG did it & I'm sure others did too.  (Btw, I thank you all!   Keeping things in perspective is always useful!)

Maybe if we can all bear in mind - different strokes, and it's ok to say 'I like it here because of thus & so'...'I don't like it there because of thus & so'.  (Vs 'man you people are ignorant/stupid/deluded/weirdy weirdy weirdos...nanner nanner boo boo!')

Why cant we just all have some empathy for each other and not be so mean?

I think you're right, and I get a little surprised when people get "snarky" out of the blue. On some posts, I think people didn't mean it to be that harsh, but didn't realize what their comments would "sound" like in print. Other times, I think people are just being rude on purpose. Disagreeing with someone or debating an issue isn't rude in and of itself, but sometimes people take it to a rude place.

BTW, I am among those who thinks the Uk is NOT all that and a bag of chips, but we came for a specific reason and don't plan on making it our home. But I don't put down those who love it here; different strokes for different folks. It all comes down to what you are used to and what your personal situation is, and that's different for everyone. Hell, a few years ago when I was dating and talking possible marriage with a Brit, had I done it and moved then, I might have thought everything here was a wonderful adventure. But at different points in your life, you want and need different things, and I'm not at that place anymore. We're all at different points on the wheel, that's all.

Sorry, but you are making me feel claustrophobic.

By the above I meant that I don't like the idea of a screen fencing me in, acting as a barrier between myself and the outside world. I like being close to nature, including insects, and I would rather have mosquito bites.

Different strokes.

Well, having also grown up with SoCal beaches, and been to some beautiful Mexican beaches, I have to say, the beaches here, while visually beautiful (it's hard to be a beach and not be beautiful), are pants compared to the ones in California. Unless you are into the whole windblown, freezing, rocky, waveless thing (which could just be NI, granted), which as a California Girl, sadly, I am not. When it comes to beaches, I want loads of warm sand, a soft, barely noticeable breeze, hot sun, warm water, the sticky scent of salt spray and seaweed, all to the sound of the surf pounding the shore. Sitting huddled on a half rockish, half sand strip of beach that is riddled with plastic bags, empty crisp packets, broken WKD bottles, while wishing I had brought one of those windscreens but doubting it would do any good, and watching my child in her incandescent skin grow goosebumps the size of gooseberries as she bravely tries to play in the ice cold water, and dodging cars that are parking on the beach (more effective windscreens, I must say, than the half-tent-without-a-roof ones) is just not my cup of tea for what going to the beach should entail. LOL

As someone who lives in a crap working class estate and has done since I lived here in an area of NI that ranks as one of the highest in terms of deprivation on the poverty index with all that entails, I also believe that life in the UK would be far superior to the US if you had buckets and buckets of money. Being poor and living poor sucks, and it sucks hard in a foreign country. I think I would be questioning my grip on my sanity if I didn't think that life in the US had some better aspects than what I live in now.

But that does NOT mean I am b*tching or moaning or appreciate getting painted as a moaner who is unhappy and should just move back, for saying stuff along the lines like that above, and I reckon the others who have expressed similar opinions that are easy enough to understand if not relate to or agree with, also don't appreciate it. It's like you're being deliberately misunderstood, and to what point? I am happy enough with my life here and mature enough to know that wherever you live in life, things will look greener somewhere else, and that there's good and bad everywhere.

And hey! Isn't that what this thread is supposed to be? People chucking in their two cents on what they think is good and bad about the US and the UK?

Now, lemme get back to my kitty litter and see if that relieves me of the horrible life I must be living here because I can understand that people don't always worship at the altar of LIFE IN THE UK IS PERFECT. If I can just sniff enough, maybe I too can join the cult.

 

It's not uncommon for people who are depressed to be nasty to other people -- in some instances, I think it's far easier to do so on an internet forum because the chances are less that you will see these people you're being nasty to.

I think that when people are depressed express their opinions, they are often just looking for others to validate them, rather than to discuss different points of view, and that if someone doesn't agree with them, they consider that their feelings are being discredited and feel personally insulted,  instead of just accepting that people feel different ways about different things.

Also, people who are depressed tend to exaggerate things, and tend to simplify things into black and white, either/or arguments.

And hey! Isn't that what this thread is supposed to be? People chucking in their two cents on what they think is good and bad about the US and the UK?

Absolutely! And nobody's complained about anyone doing that. In fact, it's welcomed.

It's when people call me stupid, deluded or mad for liking it here that I do object. And I object strongly. I'm not going to apologise for that.

It's when people call me stupid, deluded or mad for liking it here that I do object. And I object strongly. I'm not going to apologise for that.

I'm with Chary.
I've said before that living here is not for everyone.
But it is definitely for me, and my life here is a damn sight better than the So Cal existence i left behind, so when people accuse me of being somehow 'not right' because i like living here, i take issue with that.

It's when people call me stupid, deluded or mad for liking it here that I do object. And I object strongly. I'm not going to apologise for that.

I had this exact conversation with a taxi driver* on my way home from the grocery shop this afternoon:

Taxi Driver, slightly curious, slightly unbelieving: So, you're not from around here, are you?
Stella Marie, slightly deadpan, not very forthcoming: No, I'm not.
TD: Where're ya from then?
SM: California.
TD: You're living here now?
SM: Yes.
TD: How long?
SM: 7 years.
TD: Are you mad?
SM: Yes. (at this, the woman who was sharing the taxi in the backseat starts to laugh).
TD: You must be.


* Please note, I have this exact conversation with every taxi driver I ride with. Every. Single. Time.

So rather than object everytime someone calls me mad (to my face, even!) for living here, I just have learned to smile and agree. Because they are right, you know.

 

Because they are right, you know.

Opinion.

Again, this kind of thing really annoys me. And the fact that it's only coming from one "camp" is pretty telling. If I were to say, "only an insane person would choose to live somewhere as horrible as the US," I'd never hear the end of it.

Can we please get back to what this thread is supposed to be about?? At this point, I'd even welcome a conversation about mixer taps.

But it is definitely for me, and my life here is a damn sight better than the So Cal existence i left behind, so when people accuse me of being somehow 'not right' because i like living here, i take issue with that.

C'mon, now, QG, I know you are a wee bit overly fond of the kitty litter... that could explain a lot....  

Opinion.

Tongue in cheek it was, too. I am laboring pretty hard to try and lighten things up and my god, it's an awful task.

Again, this kind of thing really annoys me. And the fact that it's only coming from one "camp" is pretty telling. If I were to say, "only an insane person would choose to live somewhere as horrible as the US," I'd never hear the end of it.

Well, that depends on where you say it. I am sure you could find some of those Brit boards where they would be all over you singing your praises and joining in the chorus of how right you are indeed.

Can we please get back to what this thread is supposed to be about?? At this point, I'd even welcome a conversation about mixer taps.

Well, you know, I have to say, the faucets back in California where the best faucets I have ever washed my hands under in my whole life. Not only that, but, I really miss the paper towel dispensers that are in every public toilet in the whole of the US of A and I think it's a disgrace that we have to use those hot air blowers here in the UK and waste so much energy and do so much damage to the environment while doing so. It's a bloody disgrace so it is.


Better?