I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Not just England.

All this fuss about me moving to England, I've been trying to focus on the "Me moving in with David" aspect of it. Living in England for a while will be a nice side-effect of being with him, but certainly the most exciting thing for me is that I finally get to BE with him, after more than a year of long distance.

But now... With what, 54 days to go?... I'm remembering that I've never lived with anyone before. No one, except family. Not even in college, I lived in my own room (paid extra to not have a roommate since I had a roomie the first 2 months and it was hell on wheels), and when I left college I moved in with my brother before hopping out on my own.

I've certainly never lived with a boyfriend. David has... I mean c'mon, he was married for crying out loud. But I haven't.

So I'm nervous about it! Happy, yes... of course, but this is just going to be such an adjustment on so may levels. It's going to be OUR bathroom, OUR garbage bags, OUR dishes, OUR laundry, OUR dust, OUR icky smells from old food, OUR cold milk. That idea is so exciting for me - but yeah, I'm starting to get nervous about it. Not bad nervous, but "ohmygod" kind of nervous.

Am I making sense?  

Well, if it is any consolation I was in the same boat as you a few months ago.  I met my husband 2 years ago and in that time we only saw each other a grand total of about 1.5 months   until last fall when I came to Britian on a Bunac visa .  I had to move in with him straight away as there was no way we could afford two accomodations.  

It is NOT easy.  We were both very headstrong and wanted everything to be the way that we were used to.  There just came a point where we knew we had to change or it wasn't going to work.  Luckly we both reconized that we wanted to be with each other and it wasn't worth bickering over the small things, just for the sake of having them the way we were used to.  

The good news is that we worked through everything and are now married.  The best advice I can give is to expect changes, and realize that you aren't always going to get your own way.  (Although, as the woman, you'll still win the majority of the fights[smiley=2thumbsup.gif])

Yeah, it's a big step, I understand completely. There is one thing to keep in mind for both of you. There is a period of adjustment to living with another person. You're going to have to agree to comprimise when you disagree, and you WILL disagree. You may have full blown arguments over silly things, it's natural I think. You have to be prepared to accept their little annoying habits, and all that stuff. I'm no relationship expert, but I think it's best talked about early. (Wouldn't hurt to get it in writing either, lol.) Maybe it was different for me being an only child and not having to share with siblings.

I also know what it's like to be united after a long distance relationship of years. It is really great, and you're going to have a great reunion, so concentrate on that! I am sure that you'll be as happy as can be!

It's A LOT OF HARD WORK!!!!!  I never have lived with anyone except my family and college roommates when I was abroad.  Let alone living with a man!!

Marlespo there are a lot of emotions and I am going through them now..  You're talking about two adults who are use to doing what they want to do, when they want to do it, and how they do it.  Now there's a second person involved you have to think about.  Think of a rubberband.  BE FLEXIBLE.  One day you may be more and other days he may be more.  It's never 50/50.  My mom gave me some good advice.  She told me relationships are never equal always expect 40/60, 70/30, 80/20......but it does eventually balance out  and "NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY AT EACHOTHER"  They've been married for 42 years and still going strong.

Not only is there an adjustment of living with a man but also as a "full-fledged couple".  Are you going to have a joint account, how to pay bills, chores, etc.  There's a lot to keep in mind.  I'll be the first to admit at times it's very hard and is not easy everyday.  But relationships need work and maintenance just like a car.  If you let little problems go they will only make for bigger ones  until the engine ceases..  

There is also the adjustment of living in another country, not having a job (right away or even for a long time - legal anyway) not having your family, your friends, your comfort zone.  So this only adds to the stress.  

Keep the humor and talk, talk, talk.  No matter how stupid it is.  Because he (David) has to be prepared that you may have bad days just reassure that it's not him.  And you will no doubt go through growing-pains.  Just as long as you grow together.  But what do I know, I'm just as new at this as you will be.  

Hi lady. I was so happy so see that someone else has had to do what i have just begun - moving in with my boyfriend and moving to england.  I wonder how are things going for you>??  i just ended another relationship so i kinda jumped into this one.  i moved here because he has a house and good job.  I just finished school in the states...
last nite he showed me the airing cupboard..how funny i thought and what is the point...but its cool to find out new things...
good luck...

Hi LisaLisa - we'd love to hear more about you - please feel free to introduce yourself to everyone on the Intorduce Yourself board, since maybe everyone won't see you tucked in here. So we have similar stories, do we? When did you move over? Where are you living? How did you meet your man?! So many questions! LOL I'm going in 52 days, and ever-so-nervous about it. David & I had a goooood long talk about it again last night, we're both nervous for different reasons but are determined to make it, and know that we will. We're expecting rough patches, but we'd be super-hero robots without them, you know? Also, you can check out my website where I'm keeping a journal of my progress: http://members.tripod.com/~lessermoon - and click on England, then My Journey. Hope to hear more from you soon, we'd love to have you play here on our site. I'm in chat frequently (as are others from here) so drop by if you see a bunch of us online.

((hug))

Hey girl
We met over the internet believe it or not...lol
I was bored at work so id play in the chatrooms in MSN and we just started chatting one day and then we started talking over the phone and now it led to this.. I just moved to Eastbourne - a couple of days ago (it is near the channel and about an hour from London)...i am still jet lagged
we have only known each other since Halloween and it definitely is different living with a man again...congrats on your poem by the way

You make total sense!  I married at 33 and had been on my own for quite a while.  It is exciting and yet there will be so many little things to overcome living together so get ready.  Funniest for Rowley and I:
He is 6'6" tall and hates anything to go in lower cupboards (which I didn't get for awhile) as they are impossible for him to reach.  In our first home we didn't have wall cabinets in the Bathrooms.  He would put everything on the counter for easy reach, practical, not intentionally trying to aggravate me.  I hate clutter, so every day I would put everything away and he would take everything out.  Rather than discuss it (because I thought it was being petty and he did too) we went on for weeks this way.  WE got so aggravated and eventually it led to the most ridiculous fight.  COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE!  even discuss the silly little things or they pile up!  

You're all so sweet, and thanks for your posts. David & I have had a couple of big talks in the last few days bout our fears, and we both feel like we're mature & in love with each other enough to make it through the inevitable struggles. He's a doll, really. Only 47 more days!