Does your UK spouse want to leave?

Very wise words, Karen.

TBH, you don't even have to live abroad to think that the grass is greener somewhere else. My FIL is a PERFECT example of this. For YEARS he harassed my MIL to move to the Lake District from their home (born and bread) of Newcastle. About 5 years ago, she finally caved in. And yet he still moans and wishes they could find something 'better'. Every year there's a new 'idea'. Last year it was Scotland, the year before another village in the Lakes, etc etc. He will never be satisfied (because he doesn't want to be but that's another story!) but your DH is well young enough to step back and try to grasp the bigger picture.

Big hugs!!

I completely second the recommendation to try and get involved with the local community. If I had made more of an effort in the UK, I'm sure we would have stayed there. I thought the US was 'better', but now we're looking to move back to the UK.

I drove my husband crazy with all my talk about the US when we lived in the UK. He supported my decision to move back, but it was very, very hard on him to hear negative things every day from me. I hope you are not in a similar situation! Worth mentioning is that I feel a lot of guilt about it now. Not sure how your husband feels, but it's very hard to be the one who thinks the grass is always greener!

Anyway, not much help, but I can sympathize with him. Best of luck to you!

My husband really likes the United States, but he's going back to school here for three years to finish getting a university degree (and more power to him--I've told him it's not that difficult). After that, he'd love to get a grant to study in the States, and we could work out spousal sponsorship from there. My only regret will be leaving my in-laws behind (my husband is an only child, and I come from a family of six kids). But I figure I'll have spent 10 years here by the time he gets his degree, so fair is fair.

I'm the UK spouse in our relationship and sometimes I do daydream about moving to the US.  I have lived there before and enjoyed it although I probably wasn't there long enough to really enjoy it.

Sometimes I just get frustrated with life here and think "Oh if we were in the US our mortgage would be x amount cheaper and I would earn y amount more".

Realistically I know grass isn't greener on the other side however and I would miss it here.  Every time I hate where I live I go for a walk and realise how beautiful the Highlands are and how much I love the people and the relaxed way of life and I feel all better.

We might move one day for a while but I don't see me spending the rest of my life in the US, no way.

We might move one day for a while but I don't see me spending the rest of my life in the US, no way.

That's exactly the way I feel about the U.K. I certainly wouldn't want to die here.

I'm the UK spouse in our relationship and sometimes I do daydream about moving to the US.

We talk about it and one day it's well we'll give it a few years here and then go over there and then see what happens and the next it's him saying he can't see himself back in the states ever. 

It's great that circumstances (all being well) would allow us the option to move there and i'd like to have the opportunity to go through what he's been and is going through (good and bad) but if he's happy to stay put then we'll stay put. 

I think we're all pretty fortunate to have a dilemma of which country to live in...some people are just stuck where ever they are without any choices.

Just found this thread and it resonates with a lot of what I am going through, as the UK spouse who brought the whole family over to the UK after 10 years in the US. Carrie, just wondering how everything is going for you now and how your husband is doing...

I don't think Carrie visits UKY very much these days but I don't think she'll mind me saying she and her family moved back to the US some time ago.

I don't think Carrie visits UKY very much these days but I don't think she'll mind me saying she and her family moved back to the US some time ago.

Are Carrie and her husband doing well since their move? I hope so.

As far as I know, they're fine.

dent_arthur_dent, I was wondering whether you have decided to move back to the US or not yet?
The reason I ask is I've been thinking about moving back since I've been here also. I was born and brought up in England then moved to New Jersey when I was 19. I always felt a little homesick and wondered how life would be over here. 9 years and 2 children later I persuaded my husband to give it a try! We decided it was a now or never thing as my husband took a buy out from hid company for medical reasons. Well April 2008 we landed back in London. It was a big struggle at first as we were living with my Mum until my husband got a job and rental house etc. We are renting my brothers house and it's OK and my husband has a job which pays terrible! Problem is he needs another hip surgery (scheduled for this coming Monday) so will be out of work for a couple of months. We think about moving back although I think my husband is more content here than me. With his medical problems etc. I just imagine how hard it will be to get another job in the USA with good medical etc. My husband just got his ILR last week and April next year will be able to get his citizenship so we will probably be here until at least he gets that...........
How is you wife and children finding it over here?

Hey Coral -- still in the UK, at least for the time being. How're you guys doing?

I know that this thread is old but I still found it incredibly helpful! I'm moving to Wales next year after my boyfriend and I get married and this thread brought up a lot of excellent points. Totally shed some light on issues I hadn't given a good deal of thought to.

I loved the quote "bloom where you're planted"...That's going to be my motto! Thanks!