LD-related travel question :)

I wasn't sure which section would be most appropriate for this question, since it's not about the emotional side of traveling back and forth...it's about passport control. But I thought some of you in here might have had experience with it, so here goes.

A bit of background: we've been dating for a while - he's in London, I'm in Dallas. He's going to move here soon, maybe in six months or more (we're still in the planning stages). He's gonna come over on a fiancee visa and we'll get married once he's here.

In the meantime, I've been flying over as much as possible...this year that's been every three months or so (I've had three trips so far), and I stay for 10-14 days usually.

The reason I'm posting this question is because 1) the last time I went through Gatwick passport control, they noted the number of times I'd been over and asked if my boyfriend was here (I said yes), and 2) I recently had a dream that I was pulled aside and questioned and not let into the country!

I have a lot of dreams where I'm trying to get to him which is a side effect of the long distance thing. But this one made me wonder...what should I say, the next time I go over? Are they less likely to allow me in if I tell them outright it's to see my boyfriend? I usually bring a copy of my lease and my most recent paystub, but the pay is now electronic with no paper receipt, and my return ticket is electronic.

If you have any experience with this, I'd really appreciate advice!

It really depends on the IO you get. Some people have problems visiting "frequently," others do not. I personally have only been over 3 times in the last 3 1/2 years to visit my fiancee (he's made 4 trips to the US to see me, and will be on his 5th when we get married next month). My trips lasted 3 weeks, 3 1/2 months, and 3 weeks, respectively. His lasted 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 months, and 2 weeks. I never had real trouble getting in. I did get questioned on having a boyfriend, which always spawned further questioning, but it was never anything really scary--I always got in with pretty much no problems. Then again, like I said, I've only made 3 trips, and the longest was for a summer. Plus, I made it very obvious that I had unbreakable ties to the US every time (I was a full time college student, I had an apartment lease, I had a job to return to, and I brought proof of all of it). They only ever asked to see return tickets, how much money I had, and to see my school ID.

If the IO has reason to believe that you'd attempt to settle (and an SO is typically one of their red flags to check out) then you will get some hassle. You just need to be extra careful and be sure that you have documentation proving that you are indeed returning to the US at the end of your visit (like the paystubs and lease you have been taking. A letter from your employer stating your date back to work can be helpful, too. Just make sure none of you luggage [carry on OR checked] has anything like personal diaries or letters, because if they detain you, they may look through your things and will read anything you've written, and if there's even the slightest mention of an SO, they can take things out of context and use them against you as means of saying you don't intend to leave...even if it's a line as simple as "I miss him so much--I can't wait to see him soon!"). You are not making frequent long trips (which almost always causes problems), and what is considered frequent otherwise is totally up to the IO.

You say that they "noted" how many times you have been over? Do you mean they just pointed it out, or that they physically wrote it down somewhere/entered it into a computer?

If you ever want to take the stress out of it, especially if you plan to make regular trips, even if they are rather short, you can always apply for entry clearance. There are several threads on it in the Visa section, and if you have any specific questions on it, garry and VictoriaS are great people to turn to.