Coping strategies for public transport

I guess my point is that the behaviour is cumulative.  If they realise they can get away with loud music, then they get away with being intimidating.  If they can get away with being intimidating, then they can get away with being demanding.  If they can get away with being demanding...

It's kind of like when people say someone is one thing, but their actions prove otherwise.  "He's really a good kid, honest" - except the parent is being quoted in the paper after their kid has been charged with being aggressive at some small child or old person.  No, they are NOT a good kid if they don't know how to behave like a decent human being.  Actions speak louder than words.

I do understand your issues, Mussy. You just have to be careful. And if it's not worth the risk, then you might have to just come up with some coping mechanisms.

I agree with this!

And I thought of another one of my favorite moments on the bus (again people watching, etc):  instead of pressing the buzzer to indicate she wanted the next stop, or going to the front of the bus to indicate it to the bus driver in some way -- this woman (different woman from the one I was talking about before) remained seated and then shouted, "ARREST THIS BUS!  THIS STOP!  RIGHT HERE!  RIGHT NOW!"

OMG -- sometimes I just love the bus!   (and sometimes it can also be really annoying too)

  There's a lady we call 'budgie lady' who often rides our bus -- I suspect she may have some form of autism or mental illness (of course that's not funny & I sincerely mean no disrespect

I know exactly who you mean. he sat down next to an unsuspecting new student yesterday and proceeded to ask her whether she should clean under her cat's tail or not.I have to say the student dealt with it very well. There is also the man with multiple safety pin piercings who looks like a gnome and goes 'pss pss' to himself, and the woman (who may have Tourettes) who sits very quietly but bursts into loud sobs every few minutes. My friend has been on the bus with all three at once on an unforgettable occasion.

I think it depends on what type of public transportation you're on.  On the bus ride from Derby to Nottingham, I take a coach bus (The Red Arrow) and I'm generally undisturbed.  Rush hour is terrible, though, as it's always full.  Yesterday there was a drunk a**hole on the bus who wouldn't shut up.

I have also experienced what you've experienced on the public buses here.  The music that people crank is absolutely annoying.  I honestly dislike the bus in general, as there are so many annoying people clogging up the seats, talking loudly, eating food on the bus.  It truly depends on the mode of public transportation, though, as I think the trains are quite better.

I absolutely hate the mobile phone thing.  On the bus ride home from Nottingham today a woman was having a full fledged argument with her boyfriend on the phone, yelling at him, repeating herself.  It was just terrible.  I was sitting with other passengers that found it to be equally ridiculous.  By the end of the bus ride we were all laughing about it... but seriously... an argument, on your mobile, on public transportation.  Ugh.

I swear, one of these days I'm going to give my opinion to someone spewing their personal life all over the train over a mobile phone...some people have no concept of what should be kept to themselves.

Aye!  I was sitting about three seats in front of her, so I could hear her quite loudly, but people could hear it more than half way up the bus.  When I was getting off the bus at Derby City Center I could still here her talking... and she was still in the back.

"Did you come to me?  I SAID, DID YOU COME TO ME?  Nuhuh!  You left then send me like 10  hundred textesses*, then you came back later, like nothin happened.  Did you come to me?!  I said, did you come?!  No, you didn't come to me!  You did not come to me!  I don't know what you're talking about.  Then  you read through my phone!  But did you come to me?!  You left the lights on, and I always turn the lights off.  I turn 'em off and you turn them on and turn them on and turn them on and turn them on!!!!!  YOU NEVER SHUT OFF THE LIGHTS!"  This was a portion of what went on for about 20 minutes. 

*She couldn't say this word correctly, which started to piss me off.

Aye!  I was sitting about three seats in front of her, so I could hear her quite loudly, but people could hear it more than half way up the bus.  When I was getting off the bus at Derby City Center I could still here her talking... and she was still in the back.

"Did you come to me?  I SAID, DID YOU COME TO ME?  Nuhuh!  You left then send me like 10  hundred textesses*, then you came back later, like nothin happened.  Did you come to me?!  I said, did you come?!  No, you didn't come to me!  You did not come to me!  I don't know what you're talking about.  Then  you read through my phone!  But did you come to me?!  You left the lights on, and I always turn the lights off.  I turn 'em off and you turn them on and turn them on and turn them on and turn them on!!!!!  YOU NEVER SHUT OFF THE LIGHTS!"  This was a portion of what went on for about 20 minutes. 

*She couldn't say this word correctly, which started to piss me off.

*chokes on drink* too funny.....

It was like she was auditioning for East Enders or something.

*chokes on drink* too funny.....

Me Too!!!    I wished you'd stayed on the bus to find out the rest of it...i love to earwig peoples arguments.

I know exactly who you mean. She sat down next to an unsuspecting new student yesterday and proceeded to ask her whether she should clean under her cat's tail or not.  I have to say the student dealt with it very well. 

She always says something entertaining!  One time, she was interrogating another unsuspecting young person -- who apparently indicated she was in town, having come to see her sister.  'Budgie lady' inferred from that that something was wrong (illness) with the person's sister, that the sister must be in the hospital, and nearly started to cry over the poor health(?) of the person's sister -- who in fact, from the other person's very confused reaction didn't seem to be sick at all.  That person made fast for the door when it was her stop!  I'm not sure how 'budgie lady' got to that conclusion, but she's quite a character!

Oh & I overheard another conversation once between 'budgie lady' and a fellow she apparently did know - an acquaintance at least by his responses.  'Budgie lady' was telling him that she was about to go on her holidays at a resort -- somewhere down on the south coast, I forget where.  Then she kept firing questions at him about whether the B&B she booked was going to have a private bathroom there for her or not?!  And did he think her B&B would be clean?  How he was supposed to know about her booked holiday accommodation -- when it was the first he'd heard about the trip, I have no idea!

There is also the man with multiple safety pin piercings who looks like a gnome and goes 'pss pss' to himself, and the woman (who may have Tourettes) who sits very quietly but bursts into loud sobs every few minutes. My friend has been on the bus with all three at once on an unforgettable occasion.  

Yes, that must have been quite a ride!  I think I may have seen those two also before, but not enough times that they are a fixture - like 'budgie lady'.

*chokes on drink* too funny.....

Me Too!!!    I wished you'd stayed on the bus to find out the rest of it...i love to earwig peoples arguments. 

Me three!!!  Enquring minds want to know!

Wow - hi again everyone - I've been away for a short bit and look at all the differing responses.

Well I can admit that one hour on the bus really shouldn't be something that a person should consider to need "coping strategies".  But it's not about what should be for me - it's about what is.  Perhaps using the word "coping" was a wrong word - or perhaps just difficult.  I think different things affect each of us differently - what bothers me may not bother you and vice versa.

I am actually getting some help over the people issue - haha it makes me laugh to say it - but I've the understanding now that it's a people issue I have - I hate the lack of personal space even off of the bus.    I think perhaps I was looking to see if other people also had problems with similar things when on public transport.  In that respect, I could have used a different title - such as "Does it piss anyone else off when this happens on the bus?!"

On the one hand, I am very much aware of the fact that approaching someone can get me into trouble (they may hurt me) - so I try to pick my battles (and yes, for me, riding public transport has turned out to be a surprising battle).  On the other hand, balmerhon has it right in terms of my other issue - I have the belief that putting up with crap feeds into the social psyche of getting walked all over.  If you have the frame of mind that you can change things and you work to do it - you may not succeed, but at least you've tried. 

I said that it was a lie that the bus driver couldn't do something about the loud music because it's in the Lothian Buses by-laws that it's against policy to have music busters on the bus.  I did write Lothian and got no response.  When I had trouble on the train, I wrote First Scotlrail and they immediately responded to see what else they could do to help me.  In fact, what the guy had done must have upset a lot of people because at the next stop, the police got on the train and rode all the way to Waverly station.

I wish I were at the point in my life where I could enjoy people watching - I used to be.  But not at this point - so hopefully I'll get there again and enjoy the "variety".

Thanks to everyone.

In that respect, I could have used a different title - such as "Does it piss anyone else off when this happens on the bus?!"

I reckon you'd have got different responses if you'd used that title... 
To me, the term 'coping stragegies' screams of psychobabble and perhaps someone who has read too many self-help books!   

Good luck to you... I'll be on the Lothian 35 for over an hour tomorrow, so charging up my iPod even as we speak! 

Ear plugs work nicely too. 

I used this at work when I had a colleague who used to tell anyone who would listen her men problems MULTIPLE times a day. Then I moved offices and lived happily ever after.

About the woman, she probably didn't do anything about it.  She's probably still with the guy arguing with him on her mobile on public transportation.

I know a couple of you have talked about how crappy it is to ride the bus in Edinburgh. On Location, Location, Location last night, it was named the best city to live in in the UK. I guess they didn't consider public transport, lol.