W.....T......F

yeah, over the last 24 hours I've come to the realization that Im getting married regardless of what she does, and it shouldnt and doesnt matter. I've calmed down.  I've given thought to sending her a msg or calling her, but I still dont know how to phrase what I need to say.  Any way I look at it it looks insulting or pushy.

Im still thinking about it, and thank you Becky and Groovy for your advice!


I hope others still read my above response.

I've been in several weddings and most of times the dress was paid for by the bride.  Planning a wedding is very stressful and I'm sure you don't need this drama on top of everything else.  Yeah, she should have said something sooner but I think if someone is willing to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, it's only right to include the bridal parties dresses as part of the expense because like a wedding gown, those dresses will probably only be worn once.  I got to pick out my dress so I chose something classy that I would possibly wear again and, luckily, three of my friends all chose that same color for their weddings. 

I guess what you decide all comes down to how much you really want this person as a friend.  Good luck with that.

I hope others still read my above response.

I am sure others have read your response. I get the feeling you don't like the advice that was given by others, but please realise when you post on a forum you will get a variety of advice from a variety of points of view. It is up to you take and leave that advice.
Good Luck in whichever path you choose to take.

I am sure others have read your response. I get the feeling you don't like the advice that was given by others, but please realise when you post on a forum you will get a variety of advice from a variety of points of view. It is up to you take and leave that advice.
Good Luck in whichever path you choose to take.

Seconded.   

To the OP - I can totally relate. I was married just over a year ago and had 5 bridesmaids. You are NOT a bridezilla. You are under tremendous stress, you are paying for enough with this wedding and the last thing you need is a moh that flakes out! I say, stuff her, if she can't get it together for such an important event for you, then leave her to it. I cannot believe she is going to a party and cutting out early from your reception. That is selfish and immature behavior. Either stick to 1 bridesmaid or add another, different one to the date. Good luck, let us know how it goes

I've read the response and the op. I did see from the beginning that it was more than just a $130 dress issue and if you have as you stated in the response been burned before by your friend's apathy over things that are important to you then really you two needed a talk wayyy before the bridesmaid colours were chosen. With what you're describing about her behaviour seems she's not interested in being part of this ceremony for whatever reason you two need to have a talk. Write a email tell her how you feel. Tell her that you need her as it's a happy occassion that you felt that she was a special person in her life you wanted to share it with etc , etc.

kawalimidori--you almost gave me a heart atttack!  I'm getting married on the 27th too, but that's the weekend *after* next weekend!

Haha, I always confuse people with that! I don't know if it's just the way I understand "next weekend" or if it's the way my family talks, or if it's the way the town I grew up in talks, but I always always confuse DF with that. I think of the 20th/21st as "this weekend" or "this coming weekend" and the 27th/28th as "next weekend." Does that make sense? lol, probably not, since everyone always goes "...what?" :-D

Haha, I always confuse people with that! I don't know if it's just the way I understand "next weekend" or if it's the way my family talks, or if it's the way the town I grew up in talks, but I always always confuse DF with that. I think of the 20th/21st as "this weekend" or "this coming weekend" and the 27th/28th as "next weekend." Does that make sense? lol, probably not, since everyone always goes "...what?" :-D

In theory your logic makes sense, but in *reality*.... 

In theory your logic makes sense, but in *reality*.... 

Yeah, my reality is definitely different from everyone else's :-D