need to scream!!!

thanks anyway, it was worth a thought.... this really is becomming soooooooooo difficult

The best thing you can do for yourself is to hire an immigration consultant, regardless of who it is, to help you out. It sounds like you were wronged in the last denial. But if you didn't take up garry and VictoriaS's advice about it then you've left it a long while.

I think the problem is that there's not much additional advice we can give you that wasn't given when this thread was started. If you choose not to take the advice then its hard to continue to be sympathetic to put it bluntly. It does seem like you've been through hell and back but if you want him to come over you need help.

It's only difficult because you guys are making it so.  Sorry to be blunt, but if your husband won't let qualified immigration advisors know the reason he was denied then there is simply nothing anyone will ever be able to do.  It's your call - there is help here if you want to take it, but we can't give it without knowing the details.

Vicky

i do want your advice, its my hubby that is being difficult, he just thinks because everything has and is going wrong then it will continue if we upset people along the way... i will try and get him to see sense when i wake him later today. thanks anyway

claire

sorry if this comes across wrong..but are you sure he isnt trying to hide something?

thats ok hun,i dont think there is another way to put that, but  no he isnt hiding anything

Doesn't your husband realize that you are just talking to people who are trying to help you? And that no one will find out about it unless you pursue their advice (which, by the way, is always helpful as many on this board can attest to?)

I feel badly for you as well, but it seems to me that if he hasn't even met his 15 month old daughter he would be jumping through hoops to try to do so, including seeking professional advice on the best way to get over there.

Have you not been to visit him?

i cant cuz my daughter hasnt got her american passport yet,and i need him here to do that? and i have 4 other kids ... so its very difficult for me to get over there right now, because we havent seen each other since 2005 will this also go against us?

His strategy of appeasement doesn't seem to be particularly effective, does it?  Especially if they persist in refusals, and he doesn't want to upset anybody by protecting his own rights.  In the normal world, this case would have gone to the Tribunal a long time ago.

It's true that there's a time to back off and not get their backs up, and it's also true that there's a time to stand up and insist.  If he can't bring himself to do that, and you are unable to travel, then it looks like you have proxied yourselves into being apart for a while.

It that's the case, then the best course of action might be to devise a strategy that does not involve immigration.

forgive me but i dont understand what you mean....'If that's the case, then the best course of action might be to devise a strategy that does not involve immigration'

It just doesn't seem like your husband is willing to do whatever he can to get over here, since the advice you are being given appears to be going in one ear and out the other...so perhaps immigration to the UK is not the right step for him.

Where is he living? Can you move there?

he lives in MI ... but at the minute there is no way i can go there as ive got 5 kids and only 1 is his

I feel for you Claire.  I hope you can help him see sense.  I cannot begin to imagine being in that situation.  Hopefully your husband will realize that at this point seeking valid legal help is in his best interests.  I may be wrong, but I think a string of repeated refusals will begin to make him look bad, even if they weren't his fault.  I'd be jumping for help, and I trust Garry and Vicky implicitly.  They know their stuff and will look out for your best interests.

Please Claire, convince him to let Vicky or Garry help!   We had the opposite deal when trying to get my husband here in the US.  We had all sorts of trouble and seemed like we lived at the immigration office.  I finally contacted an immigration lawyer and she was able to point out exactly what the problem was to the IO.  And they didn't push it any further after that.  It was well worth our money and if someone is going to try and help for a small amount or no money, you should definitely take the help!  Should be cut and dry--he needs to see his child!

I think it is a good idea that I clarify the difference between Garry and I....

I am an advisor, so I am able to assist and advice on individual cases.

Garry is a public advocate, so will get involved if there is a question of bad policy or systematic abuses by ECO's, though is able to give information on general law and policy.

I need to clarify this as a) Garry asked me to and b) the OISC will use any flimsy excuse to tell Garry off if they think he is providing advice to individuals.
Thanks.

Vicky