Advice needed please: bridal showers?!?

Hi there! My fiance is moving to here in the UK from the US in 35 days - not that I'm counting!! - and we're getting married in March. (Leaps for joy!)

He thinks it's important that I have a bridal shower. Maybe it's just me, but I have no idea what a bridal shower is, what it involves, or how I go about organising one. Is it because I'm British that I'm not sure what to do or just because I'm stupid?! Can anyone please advise me?!

I'd really appreciate any advice you can give. Thanks

I think there are some threads on this here, but it is certainly an American thing, and I believe it's another excuse for the bride's female friends to get together and give her presents. 

Perhaps it could be considered as a less boozy version of a hen night, and I think it usually takes place at home.  I am sure the American girls will have some idea of what is involved, but if you already had a hen night planned, I don't think you can really do both.

Vicky

I agree with Vicky, it is definitely a US tradition and not common in the UK.   The idea is to "shower" the bride with gifts to help her build a home.  It's not usually expenisve china and stuff, but more everyday things, spatulas, towels, mixing bowls etc. 

I would just explain to your Fiance that it wouldn't be something that British people do.  It's not supposed to be hosted by the bride/groom anyway - so you would have to rely on one of your friends hosting it for you.  If it's not something they are familiar with, it may seem rude to them. 

It may be that his mother/sisters/friends are telling him that every girl must have one, so if his parents or friends wanted to host one for you in the US with their friends and family maybe you could go to that. 

Good luck!

If one of your relatives or friends wants to learn about it and host one for you, then go for it! It could be lots of fun!

Could it be compared to the 'showing of presents' events that I remember from my childhood?  My sister had one when she got married and i remember being dragged round to others whenever one of my cousins got married (i'm a brit!).

So,  basically everyone that had given a present was invited and all the presents were already opened and laid out for all to see... this invite was extended to only the women involved and it was normally held about 1 week before the wedding at the brides mothers house where tea and cakes were served...

but it was most definately a seperate occassion than the hen night!

Could it be compared to the 'showing of presents' events that I remember from my childhood?  My sister had one when she got married and i remember being dragged round to others whenever one of my cousins got married (i'm a brit!).

So,  basically everyone that had given a present was invited and all the presents were already opened and laid out for all to see... this invite was extended to only the women involved and it was normally held about 1 week before the wedding at the brides mothers house where tea and cakes were served...

Wow.  Never heard of that one.  What if someone couldn't afford to get a really nice present and then they were embarrassed by others comparing the niceness of gifts?

Personally I don't like the idea of a bridal shower and was  kind of pressured into it before my first marriage by my ex's good meaning sisters and step-mom.  I was glad this time around that the tradition doesn't exist in the UK.

Wow.  Never heard of that one.  What if someone couldn't afford to get a really nice present and then they were embarrassed by others comparing the niceness of gifts?

Actually it wasn't too bad, mostly the presents I remember were things like casserole dishes, toasters and towels...all good starting a new home type pressies.  Of course, these were when girls usually were still living with their parents before leaving home for the first time to live with a boy!

If we'd had one for our wedding it would have been a pile of travel vouchers, so not much to look at! 

Thanks! I'm so glad it's not just me that thinks the whole thing is a little strange! I suppose its just another example of the cultural divide - which is part of the fun It just wasn't something I'd ever heard of! I've not heard of the 'showering of presents' thing either. Maybe my friends/family just aren't that generous?!?!

If its something someone else needs to worry about I wont stress about it any more! Thanks so much everyone. I do like the idea of being given presents though!!!

Actually it wasn't too bad, mostly the presents I remember were things like casserole dishes, toasters and towels...all good starting a new home type pressies.  Of course, these were when girls usually were still living with their parents before leaving home for the first time to live with a boy!

If we'd had one for our wedding it would have been a pile of travel vouchers, so not much to look at! 

Ahh, these days things can be so "staus oriented", especially when the couple already has a lot of the basics.

Thanks! I'm so glad it's not just me that thinks the whole thing is a little strange! I suppose its just another example of the cultural divide - which is part of the fun  It just wasn't something I'd ever heard of! I've not heard of the 'showering of presents' thing either. Maybe my friends/family just aren't that generous?!?!

If its something someone else needs to worry about I wont stress about it any more! Thanks so much everyone. I do like the idea of being given presents though!!!

I'm sure you'll *still* get presents!    Even without a shower. 

A funny aside, my ex was more interested in the type of presents usually given at wedding showers (kitchen type stuff, sheets, towels, etc.) than I was.  I knew he'd have more fun than I would at the shower so I said he could come even though traditionally it is just for the bride and her female friends and family.

Showers are becoming much more common on the UK. I'm sure I've seen them mentioned in bridal magazines and such. I have several British female friends who are aware of the concept and who have been to them.

I'd say if you're going to be in the US and his family and friends want to organize one for you, then go with it, but I wouldn't worry about having one in the UK if you don't want one. It's not a requirement to the big day!

We're getting married here in the UK. Which I think is why my fiance was telling *me* about it instead of letting my relatives organise it. It's not something anyone would think of - I certainly wouldn't! Maybe I'll just let him casually mention it to a few people and see what happens?! Bring on the presents

Thanks again everyone. Such a helpful bunch

As an American who has attended many weddings and showers this year, my opinion is that most American woman secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) hate bridal showers. Most brides feel akward about sitting around and playing games and then opening presents in front of a bunch of people. Showers are almost always a huge expense for everyone involved. I would explain to your fiance that it is simply not something you do in the UK. An alternative might be to have a friend/attendant host a fun luncheon or girl's day that is appropriate for older woman in your family and/or his that may not attend a hen-do. Also, I once attended a couples shower which was really just an engagement party and social gathering of close friends and family; it was a blast. Some people took gifts to that event and others didn't without remorse. They did play a cute trivia game at the party and I think by the end people felt like they knew more about the couple and it just escalated my happiness for them. Sorry that was a long post, but basically you have options. Do what you want. 

I was very happy not to have a bridal shower, personally.  I didn't have a hen night, either.  No need.  We got whatever presents we "needed" as wedding gifts, and I really didn't see the need for any "last night of freedom".

But I'm strange. 

Do what you want. 

motion seconded!