American side of the family attending weddingin UK

I don't think it's that uncommon for not many or even none to cross the pond for a wedding - either direction.  We had a small wedding here in Leeds - only 20 all together, including us.  It was mostly DH's family & friends, but it didn't bother me in the slightest.  One (out of two) of my brothers & his wife came over - but he's a commercial airline pilot - so fairly easy (free!) for him to travel, and we paid for my best friend & his girlfriend to fly over -- they couldn't afford the airfare themselves.

Because we didn't have many there - we were able to splash out a bit on dinner & booze for those who did come, and we had it in a lovely 'country house style' hotel here in Leeds.  (It also helped that DH's parents paid for it. )

Not only did I have no family on my side attend our wedding, we forgot to get a cake! (Husband's grandmother, who is housebound, asked for a piece of cake. She was incredulous when we told her we didn't order one!)

We were so happy to actually get married, and it was such a beautiful day, to be honest I still have no major regrets. Having a nice mum-in-law helps too.

I did not have anyone from my family attending my wedding either.

I wouldn't expect anyone to make a transatlantic flight just so they could spend a few hours at my wedding.

I wouldn't expect anyone to make a transatlantic flight just so they could spend a few hours at my wedding.

I wouldn't expect it, but I'm fairly sure my friends and family would come over for mine! It's not as if they'd be here only for "a few hours" - most would plan to make a vacation out of the trip.

I wouldn't expect it, but I'm fairly sure my friends and family would come over for mine! It's not as if they'd be here only for "a few hours" - most would plan to make a vacation out of the trip.

Yep, this is what is going to happen with my wedding (which is in the US, but all of FH's family is in the UK.)  Only about 8 members of his (gigantic) family are coming over in October, but they're making an annual vacation out of it and are going to the Grand Canyon the week before the wedding.  They're all really excited about it!

I did not have anyone from my family attending my wedding either.

I wouldn't expect anyone to make a transatlantic flight just so they could spend a few hours at my wedding.

It is not that we expect them to be here for a few hours, My hubby is military and he has hardly seen his family due to deployments etc. We are already married, this is our vow renewal, we got married just before he deployed with non of my family or friends present, we were a few states away from his family and they did not show, even though they said they would.. The majority of his family are very well off, have the means and time. I am more upset than anything for Hubby in that they could come but they choose not to. There is nothing stopping them so to speak.

I know it is our day but it would be lovely for him to see his family there, we gave them almost 2 years notice of our vow renewal and wedding, but still does not look like they are coming, so just have to accept that and get on with planning "our" wedding. It would have just been nice for him to have his dad and brother there thats all.

My story is basically the same as everyone elses! Hubby and I got married in the US - gave his side of the family tons of notice - but only his mother came. I'm not going to lie and say that we didn't feel a little bitter about it (a lot of his family were not being supportive because they thought we were too young to get married - and his dad decided that the best way to deal with it was pretend that we weren't actually getting married so no need to renew his passport - then at the last minute when he decided oh yeah maybe I *should* go he couldn't due to the whole not having a valid passport thing. SIGH) but anyway, the point is that these things happen - and your day can still be WONDERFUL anyhow!

Our story has a happy ending, too - we went back to visit his family and they threw us a giant belated "reception" with all of hubbys family and family friends! It was great. Two receptions! So if anything, you can always arrange to go back home and have a big party-celebration of your marriage later for the people who couldn't make it...

I know it is our day but it would be lovely for him to see his family there, we gave them almost 2 years notice of our vow renewal and wedding, but still does not look like they are coming, so just have to accept that and get on with planning "our" wedding. It would have just been nice for him to have his dad and brother there thats all.

Have you considered offering to cover expenses for the one or two relatives who your hubby would most want there?

Our story has a happy ending, too - we went back to visit his family and they threw us a giant belated "reception" with all of hubbys family and family friends! It was great. Two receptions! So if anything, you can always arrange to go back home and have a big party-celebration of your marriage later for the people who couldn't make it...

That's what we are doing, I'm not that concerned about people not coming, I understand their reasons because of the timing, kids at school etc rather than they don't want to/can't afford to attend. My best fried and his partner said they would attend and that was really all I was bothered about.

Have you considered offering to cover expenses for the one or two relatives who your hubby would most want there?

The problem I'd have doing that, is it could cause resentment within the family as to why you'll pay for one but not another. Ok I guess if it's parents but if you are selecting one sibling over another.

We had hardly any on my side - thankfully those I was closest to for the most part were able to come (apart from the cousin who is like a brother to me, but they couldn't afford it so we understood).

We got married in the States and almost no one from his family or his friends made it over...or any of my friends in the UK (I had been here for 2 years).  It's just what happens - too much expense or time...it stinks, but you have to expect it.

We got married in the States and almost no one from his family or his friends made it over...or any of my friends in the UK (I had been here for 2 years).  It's just what happens - too much expense or time...it stinks, but you have to expect it.

yes thats what i expect now, not so worried as i was back in November, we just have to remember it is our day.

We're having two receptions as well.  We know how much it all costs, so we're making them both inexpensive.  Mum and dad and maybe my sister will come to the UK for a celebration/picnic after the US wedding, and his mum and dad will be coming to the US for a week.  His brothers and sister would like to come, but it's simply too much money. We're going to make sure that both sets of families feel involved in the celebration, though. 

That's what we are doing, I'm not that concerned about people not coming, I understand their reasons because of the timing, kids at school etc rather than they don't want to/can't afford to attend. My best fried and his partner said they would attend and that was really all I was bothered about.

I wouldn't expect it, but I'm fairly sure my friends and family would come over for mine! It's not as if they'd be here only for "a few hours" - most would plan to make a vacation out of the trip.

Yep - like my father did for my wedding.  He spent a total of 10 days in the UK - and he planned it so my wedding was on his last full day and he left BEFORE the official photos were taken as he had to get up early for his flight back.  Didn't see him but for about 20 minutes in total, and he's in ONE post-ceremony picture taken by his wife - with my sons and my brother, not even with me.

Not sure why I even bothered asking him to come, really.