really depressed, was about to od on my valium

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you.

Just remember you can tell your GP anything in complete confidence. Antidepressants can be a b*tch, this I know for sure

There are people who care about you and are here to listen, you can PM me anytime.

I really hope you get the help you need and deserve. Thinking of you!

let us know how it went with the gp! we're worried about you

hi everyone, just wanted to say thanks for everything and all the replies, i went to my gp yesterday and he reffered me to the lammas centre, anyways went there talked to a duty worker, comes to find out cause im on the boarder of ealing and hounslow i cant use their services cause of my post code, anyways so i went to west middx hosptial a and e cause brentford didnt have any appts. so i stayed there most of the day, they let  me come home i thought they would admit me, but they didnt in america if u say u will od they will admit you but my dh  watched me . anyways i tried this last month, i went into my room and took a whole bottle of ativan my dr in america gave me, but my husband happened to walk by, and he got them outta my mouth with his finger, stupid i know.... anyways they are suggesting day treatment at the hosptial... i guess i will take it one day at a time, thanks again for all the PMs and replies .... amy

Amy,

If you can, try to find a therapist who practices cognitive therapy. The premise is that your thoughts lead to your emotions, which then lead to your actions. If you can change your thoughts to more-rational, less self-destructive ones, your emotions and behavior will follow. I believe it's currently the most accepted form of therapy in the psychological field.

Also, if your current SSRI isn't helping, definitely switch to something else, particularly in the SSRI family. I take Citalopram, because I've battled with depression my entire life. My mom died recently, and although I was beside myself with grief (and still am), I can't imagine what state I'd be in if I hadn't been taking Citalopram. Something is bound to work for you--just try your best not to look at yourself as being helpless and hopeless. You will get better. Please send me a PM if you'd like to talk.

Suzanne

Hi Amy,

I just noticed a few posts back you mentioned some thyroid problems.  This could really be related to the way you are feeling now.  I'm not discounting any difficult circumstances you might be in right now, but when you are in the throes of hormonal imbalance everything can seem out of proportion to reality. 
Whatever you are going through, I hope the dark cloud soon lifts and you are able to get some help and support. 
Thinking of you,
grace

Amy - I used to work for the Mental Health Trust that covers Lammas Centre and West Mid Hospital. There WILL BE a community team that can see you - Lammas Centre covers Ealing and referrals go by your post code. Where is your GP? In Hounslow the centre you are referred to depends on your GP's post code - most GPs do not know this. If your GP is in Hounslow you can be referred to one of several CMHTs (Community Mental Health Team) in Hounslow. DO NOT give up on this. If you have any more troubles getting the right referral ring the Patient Advice and Liaison Service on 0800 064 3330.

Also, if you see the psychiatric liaison at West Mid you can ask to be admitted as a voluntary patient if you think that's what you need. West Mid has a woman's ward and I would HIGHLY recommend that you ask to be admitted there if at all possible. I'm very, very familiar with the wards there, and the mixed wards can be very disconcerting if you feel vulnerable already.

Please, please pm me if you need help negotiating the system there - I know it really well.

hi everyone, just wanted to say thanks for everything and all the replies, i went to my gp yesterday and he reffered me to the lammas centre, anyways went there talked to a duty worker, comes to find out cause im on the boarder of ealing and hounslow i cant use their services cause of my post code, anyways so i went to west middx hosptial a and e cause brentford didnt have any appts. so i stayed there most of the day, they let  me come home i thought they would admit me, but they didnt in america if u say u will od they will admit you but my dh  watched me . anyways i tried this last month, i went into my room and took a whole bottle of ativan my dr in america gave me, but my husband happened to walk by, and he got them outta my mouth with his finger, stupid i know.... anyways they are suggesting day treatment at the hosptial... i guess i will take it one day at a time, thanks again for all the PMs and replies .... amy

Grace made a really good point about thyroid problems. You should have a blood test to see if you have hyper- or, in particular, hypothyroidism (which is what I have). Having either too much or too little of the hormone can greatly affect your mood.

I agree with what Anne said. Please continue to seek help. There is help out there and I know it is very hard right now, but please know that it will get better. In the meantime ask your husband to lock up your mediciation and only get out the amount you need each day. I had a partner once that suffered from depression and when it got really bad we did this. He said it really helped him during the tough times. Take care and I'm sending lots of hugs.

hi everyone, anne, i live in brentford but im right on the boarder of ealing in fact my gp is ealing health park. but im not in the manated area ... im feeling better, and really taking things easy, my thyriod is underactive so im due for blood works which i will be doing in the next few days,  i will keep on looking, my dh suggested that if i am not happy with the services here,  i can go to america to my dr, and go intreatment there, i have really good insurance still there, until feb.. so im still looking at all options, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers i really need them, again thanks so much for all the support you guys are great, amy

I think everyone needs to take a step back on offering medical advice. From what I know, nobody here is a doctor, let alone a psychiatrist with a specialization in adult depression. It's important that anyone with suicidal feelings go to their GP, a psychiatrist, or the hospital. Only they will be able to diagnose and treat any psychological problems.

A therapy that works for one person might not work for another. No type of therapy or drug is the silver bullet that solves ALL depression. (I've tried all the "talk" therapies that people have mentioned and none of them have worked. I've even had a psychiatrist tell me that, with my specific brain, such therapies are a waste of everyone's time.)

The OP is doing the right thing by getting treatment, and she's lucky to have the support of her husband.

mspotts, hang in there. I'm glad you're taking things one day at a time. You'll get through it. If you ever want to talk, PM me and I'll give you my number. Of course, having been there before, I know that talking is sometimes the last thing you want to do.

hi everyone, anne, i live in brentford but im right on the boarder of ealing in fact my gp is ealing health park. but im not in the manated area

Try ringing the Brentford, Isleworth, Chiswick CMHT: 0208 583 3365 - ask them if you fall into their catchement and if you don't, ask them where to ring. They should be well aware of where in Brentford you could go!

I agree with Anne.  Get help now!  There is no reason for you to be suffering this way.  There is help out there.  Maybe your husband can read this thread and make some calls for you.  This might help as I am sure you are feeling overwhelmed.  My mother suffers from depression adn when she has a bad spell, she needs help quickly.

There IS help out there.  I'm glad Anne is able to provide you with helpful information.

thanks again everyone for ur advices, anne will def give them a call... i really do appericate all the support here. thanks so much, amy