Sleepless Toddler

I really really need some advice.

We have a nearly 2.5-year-old daughter who has never been a great napper.

On December 18 my husband, child and I flew to the US to spend Christmas with my mother. From the day we got there our daughter slept in the same bed as her grandmother. I knew it wasn't necessarily a wise thing to do, but my Mom doesn't get to spend much time with her granddaughter, so I relented.

We arrived back into England January 4th, and so far getting the kid to nap/sleep alone has been pure hell. She screams like she's never screamed before. Her screams sound like pure temper instead of fear.

If I keep her downstairs during nap time, take away any toys and make the environment dark and quite, it doesn't lull her to sleep. (Tried this technique many times before the jet lag and it has never worked.)

Her room doesn't have very many toys in it, so she's unable to play until all hours of the night.

Aside from visiting her frequently, or letting her scream for 40 minutes between visits, what else can I do?

I can't spend all nap times and night times lying next to her, as I have too much to do, and she's too old for that anyway.

At present I put her down for a nap 40 minutes ago and have been upstairs twice. I point to the bed, she gets in, I cover her up. I don't talk to her or even make eye contact with her. I calmly leave the room. The screaming continues....

P.S. I realize it's still early days and she still needs time to adjust, but after three days of screaming I think I need more techniques in my arsenal!

it's the screaming that does my head in!! Squidge is only 18 months but we had one hell of a night last night w/ her screaming.  I don't have any advice for you as I'm in almost the same boat!!

It's amazing what damage 2.5 weeks away will do to a stable routine.  :\\\'(

You've only been back three days so I wouldn't panic just yet.  It takes at least that long for their little clocks to get back on track.  Plus she probably misses Grandma and can't really articulate it.  I'd just hang in there and keep doing what you're doing at least for a few more days.  If she was really resisting the nap then I wouldn't push it, just let her wear herself out and hopefully have easier bedtime. 

I agree with Mindy.  It always takes a while to get things back to normal after a trip.  Even if you don't let your toddler sleep with Grandma this kind of thing happens.  Believe me!

I know I'm jumping the gun, but I can't help but revert back to the long 11 month stretch where she slept 3 hours (within a 24 hour period) a night the majority of the time. That was so painful.

Mom's getting dead daffodils on her birthday! 

Maybe she doesn't need a nap any more? My son stopped having a regular nap of his own accord soon after his 2nd birthday.  He sometimes has phases of not sleeping well and when that happens I make sure he gets PLENTY of exercise during the day, and definitely no nap,  so he can't wait to go to sleep at the end of the day.  It might help get her back into her night routine??

Oliver did not sleep through the night till he was just over 19 monthsish and then he just did he would wake up I do not know how many times.

Now he sleeps in any room but his he starts there and by the morning when you go to get him up he is in with his brothers. He has also started sleep walking we found him having a wee on his chair few nights ago he was still asleep caught him and got him to the loo before he emptyed his whole blader over the seat and carpet errrrrrrrr.

I have woke up and found him in the bottom of our bed well my wife did she got up went to the kitchen came back in and the quilt started moving as she got back into bed, he frightened the life out of both of us that night.

It does get better but then they just do not want to go to bed.

Maybe she doesn't need a nap any more? My son stopped having a regular nap of his own accord soon after his 2nd birthday.  He sometimes has phases of not sleeping well and when that happens I make sure he gets PLENTY of exercise during the day, and definitely no nap,  so he can't wait to go to sleep at the end of the day.  It might help get her back into her night routine??

I did consider that, and I don't try to get her to nap every day. However there are days where she's played all day, rubbing her eyes by 3 - 4p.m., desperate for a snooze, and refuses to nap. She then can't eat dinner at 5:30 because she's too exhausted. Sorry I didn't mention nap time wasn't something we did regularly.

Did your son ever reach a point where not getting enough sleep seemed to make him worse?

I did consider that, and I don't try to get her to nap every day. However there are days where she's played all day, rubbing her eyes by 3 - 4p.m., desperate for a snooze, and refuses to nap. She then can't eat dinner at 5:30 because she's too exhausted. Sorry I didn't mention nap time wasn't something we did regularly.

Did your son ever reach a point where not getting enough sleep seemed to make him worse?

Sometimes he does as you describe, is very sleepy by about 4 ... I just give him a light meal then and there,  like some yoghurt with a ham sandwich, and let him go to bed early.

I'll give that a try then. Thanks Britwife.

I'll give that a try then. Thanks Britwife.

You're welcome.  I hope it helps! You may find she wakes up very early for a few days til she gets her rythm back but at least she'll be getting a long stretch of sleep (and so can you!).

My older daughter also stopped taking a nap when she was 2. But then I had to make sure I would not go anywhere by car in the afternoon because she would always fall asleep in the car and it would mess up her night schedule. I think as Britwife says a light dinner and early bed time should work. Or at least it's worth it trying it.

We just went through the same problem after Thanksgiving.  Our boy is 2 years 9 months and we travelled for 3 weeks in US and stopping in Bermuda on the way back.  In Bermuda I shared a hotel bed with our boy while my wife shared a bed with our baby daughter for the week.  We knew it was a bad move but it was a nice.

It took 3 or 4 days after we got back for our son to stop begging for an hour for me to sleep in his bed, with me going up every 10 minutes to reassure him and tell him he had to sleep on his own.  Based on that you're nearly there!!!

Bad mistake but worth it at the time!

I agree with the no nap thing, we often go to just having quiet time unless she is just exhausted.  But we will read books, I hate putting in a movie, but she is big into musicals, so if she has been really good, we'll put in Annie or something and she has quiet time while she watches her movie.  Good luck, and I hope yours gets back in her routine again soon!  We had the opposite, we had 6 people staying at our house for the holidays and when they left it took her a day to settle back into playing by herself and eating dinner at her regular time and stuff.