After reading this review of the winning Idol song, I’m glad I didn’t win! I saw this on Yahoo News.
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Why Was David Cook REALLY Crying At The Idol Finale?
Answer: Because now he has to release "The Time Of My Life" as his first single. Ugh.
Heck, I'd be crying too if I had to sing, with a straight face, a line like "I'm lookin' for that magic rainbow." What, is David Cook the new spokesman for Lucky Charms cereal, too? Come on now, the only singer who can get away with a line like that is Kermit.
Other cringeworthy lyrics include some Bette Midler-esque line about "findin' my wings" and a whole dang verseful of muddled metaphors ("Now I'm out on the edge of forever/Ready to run/Keepin' my feet on the ground/My arms open wide/Facing the sun"). Huh?
Not even the much touchy-feelier David Archuleta would've been comfortable singing that. Archie was in fact probably relieved that he'd lost, after watching Cook belt out such cliché-riddled drivel. Meanwhile, I half-expected Ashton Kutcher to scamper out onstage and tell Cook he was being punk'd before the song was over.
And you know, Cook sure doesn't look like he's having the "time of his life" in the disturbingly expressionless, passport-style photo that graces his new song's single. But hey, at least he is keeping a straight face. I'll give him that.
Really now, why is it that every freakin' American Idol "coronation song" has to be so toothless, it makes "You're The Voice" sound like something by Megadeth in comparison? Sure, "A Moment Like This" and "Inside Your Heaven" were solid ballads that (important point alert) SUITED THE WINNERS WHO SANG THEM. But this triumph-of-the-spirit formula is getting, well, way too formulaic. Please note that Jordin Sparks' debut single last year, the awkwardly titled victory anthem "This Is My Now," was the first Idol coronation song to miss making the top 10 Billboard singles chart. Will Cook's "Time" miss as well?
Well, maybe not, since David's got the number one track on iTunes right now...but with a sap-soaked song like "The Time Of My Life," his time in the spotlight may only last about 15 minutes.
Please note that when David had the chance to choose from a batch of potential coronation songs last Tuesday, he didn't choose some snoozy "Sending Our Love Down The Well"-style ballad. No, he went with the much catchier, much faster, much more rockin', and altogether much less embarrassing "Dream Big." Why 19 Management didn't let that be David's first single, I do not know. The mind boggles. Not only is "Dream Big" a better song (and a better fit for David's musical style), but many more viewers probably heard that tune when David performed it mid-show on Tuesday.
See, anyone who recorded Wednesday's finale show on their DVRs just might have missed David's performance of "The Time Of My Life" entirely, since most prescheduled recordings of the overlong program were frustratingly cut off right around the time Ryan Seacrest announced the winner as "David--"
Yes, that's right: Finale DVR recordings were stopped short before the winning David Cook got to actually sing "The Time Of My Life" on live television for the first time. D'oh!
Anyway, as much as I am so not lovin' his new single, I still unconditionally love me some David Cook...so I wish him luck in his quest to find his pot o' gold records at the end of that magic rainbow. I just really, really, REALLY hope the 19 powers-that-be don't make David record an entire album of maudlin mushfests like this. Cook is talented and deserves the opportunity to make the kind of music he wants to make. Plus, I didn't sit up all night speed-dialing his voting number at a tendonitis-inducing rate so he could record this sort of crap. Seriously.
