depressed

Hi

im really down today, so I have one month left to go for this whole big change in my life, marriage, move. I dont know if I can handle it im acutally a bit scared, what if I move and I will hate england and im stuck living there! I wont have my family close to help me if I mess up, ill be alone with my fiance/hubby he will have hes parents to help him if he needs help...I dont know anymore... is this normal to feel this way? 

Of course it's normal! 
...and lots of people *do* come here and hate it... it's not for everyone!

But you won't know if you don't try.   

Try to relax and just think of it as an adventure.
It's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out. 

Oh, goodness, yes! Of course it's normal! It's a big change, and big changes are inherently scary.

And there are going to be tough days, no doubt. It's a lot to adjust to. But sometimes you have to close your eyes and step into the void. Think how many people would be deeply envious of you, getting married and moving to a new country! Risk is hard, but being in a rut can be harder.

Sometimes I think being American helps us do this. You know, the whole pioneer thing. You know, "pack the china and strap it on the mule, Margaret -- we're goin' to Oklahoma!"

Me, I'm depressed because I have to sell my house before I go, so I don't know *when* I'll be leaving. Let us be depressed together today  

..."pack the china and strap it on the mule, Margaret -- we're goin' to Oklahoma!"

Good lord, I would be depressed if I were moving to Oklahoma!

It's normal, Pinkstar!  It'll be an adventure and a challenge & all of the above - what they said.  A lot of us have done it successfully, others haven't fared as well - different strokes & all.  Good luck!

Hope you're soon feeling up again.

And of course, like others have said, what you're going through is normal.  If you were totally calm about it, then it would be time to worry!  I can't imagine anyone doing anyone doing each of the things that you're about to do ON THEIR OWN without feeling a sense of nerves about it, add them all together, and it's a wonder anyone manages it!

Try to remember to take a day at a time...when you are able to manage that, it helps to keep things manageable and in perspective.

It is a hard thing when your changing so much of your life.  It's very normal to go through this.  Be prepared to give yourself some time to deal with all of this.  Good luck, and feel better soon. 

Try to remember to take a day at a time...when you are able to manage that, it helps to keep things manageable and in perspective.

I second that...it also helps if you're patient.  It took me 2-3 years before I felt really content & settled here.  Try to manage your expectations in a reasonable manner, in that things aren't going to be 'just like home' here -- it's a different country!  And it may take you some time (not mere days, weeks or months) to make the adjustment.

Cross posted with persephone!

Of course it's scary.  And everyone is right.  You'll adapt and if you don't, you can always come back to the US. 

Good lord, I would be depressed if I were moving to Oklahoma!

LOL It isn't all that bad..I spent almost my whole life there!!! It has it's charm.....

Of course it's normal!  In fact, I'd be more worried if you *weren't* stressing out. 

Mrs R and persephone are right, though - give yourself time, not just now but after you move.  I've been here for a year and a half (!) and I'm still adjusting.

Good luck, and feel better!

thanks its nice knowing im not alone(I thought maybe im getting the bad vibe). I know if I told my man about this he would start panicing hes like that at times. So its really nice that I have people that acutally understand me.

I'm going through that right now I'll be moving there this summer with no other friends other than my fiance. His parents hate me because of how we met, and havent spoken to me in over a year, completely avoiding me this summer when I spent it in England

I'm really close to my family and its going to be really hard/stressful to move there but I'm trying to stay positive because I KNOW I am meant to be with him and everything else will just sort of fall into place because its meant to be.

If you ever want to talk you can talk to me, cos I get it

Even someone like me who took on this whole thing as a big adventure, someone like me who has always fantasized about living in either England or Ireland....well, I still have days where I feel so foreign.  Days where the bus schedules seem to be written in Japanese.  Days where I think about the massive amount of friends I left behind and get sad. 

So, as the others have said, you are definitely not alone. 

Even someone like me who took on this whole thing as a big adventure, someone like me who has always fantasized about living in either England or Ireland....well, I still have days where I feel so foreign.  Days where the bus schedules seem to be written in Japanese.  Days where I think about the massive amount of friends I left behind and get sad. 

So, as the others have said, you are definitely not alone. 

Very well put Andee.... couldn't have said it better myself... so I'll just 2nd what Andee said 

Yup.  Just what Andee and Chrissy said.  I've been here just over 2 years and there are still good days and bad days...luckily the good outweigh the bad.    Keep an open mind and give it time.