Well i dont think i phrased the original question judging by the replies. What i meant in my case Rhia keeps asking me why i ever married her as she is no small person. Ive constantly said that being skinny as a rake is something that would attract me even though she seems to think that it would have. My main reason for getting involved in the first place was that her personality and general demeanour were the things that attracted me, not her looks. But sometimes she gets all fired up, and continually puts herself down. How do you convince someone, who seems to think you crave the thin and dumb blonde type???
Well, I know this is for the spouses to discuss, but I see myself as being very similar to Rhia. (Although maybe I can get Steven to put his two cents in ....lol). Anyways, you're not the reason why she feels that way, or at least you're not the reason she feels that way if she's like me. I've always viewed myself as ordinary and no one has ever thought I was beautiful, or no one ever told me they thought I was beautiful, until I met my guy. It's hard to believe that someone is truly attracted to you just the way you are when you are constantly bombarded with messages from the media, or usually more so from other women, telling you that you're not beautiful unless you're blonde, tall, and stick thin.
I know that my guy gets really frustrated with it, but I don't do it to frustrate him, and I'm sure that Rhia isn't doing it to frustrate you. It's just the way you feel deep down about yourself. The thing you can keep doing is telling her how much you truly do love and appreciate her for who she is. It makes me nearly cry to hear my guy tell me such things, especially when I know he is being completely sincere and saying it because he wants to and not because he feels he should.
Even though we women argue and say we don't think you think we're beautiful, we do know it deep down. And nothing feels better than to know that your man's eyes are looking for you, and only you, in a crowded room. Ok, it was a lot of babble and I didn't explain it well, but I hope you get at least the jist of what I mean.