I've got a history not unlike Darwin's and have struggled with food and body issues for literally as long as I can remember - I don't recall ever having a normal relationship with food and even after many years of therapy I still struggle with it. Interestingly the quote that you've pulled, Mort, is a key factor for me. My family NEVER celebrated a happy event without food. And food for me became intrinsically related at a very early age to my emotions. Happy? Eat! Sad? Eat! Bored? Eat! Angry? Eat! When I went vegan and my mom rang me to ask what on earth was going to happen at Thanksgiving, suddenly I made the connection and I told her that it didn't matter because it wasn't about eating, it was about having a nice time together. The lightbulb went on! Not that I don't still struggle, but understanding that celebrating, mourning, etc. can be done without food has been a big revelation for me.... So I would actually agree that using food to celebrate can (though obviously not always) be very much linked to disordered eating.
Very interesting. I come from a Jewish family where food and celebration as well as mourning (sitting shiva--oh all the food!!) went hand-in-hand. I have a feeling it is that way with many cultures. I don't think it's a bad thing for the "normal" non-disordered eating person.
For me, the issue was more about a compulsion to control. I was borderline (I was never diagnosed, and I never got below 100 lbs., so I just say borderline) anorexic in high school. I got into counting and severely limiting my calories and weighing myself everyday. My gym teacher noticed that I had gotten thinner and said something to me about it, but that was it.
Then when I was in college I boomeranged in the opposite direction (bingeing, but never purgeing)--I was now *out* of control and I'm pretty sure I was soothing myself--college life and then moving out in my early 20's was a big change from my teenage life. At this time I also got addicted to sugar and a spiral of sugar / depression ensued--I didn't understand how the two were integrated.
Finally, in my mid to late 20's I got interested in healthy eating, organics, and vegetarianism. First for diet reasons, then for spiritual ones.
I do agree with you Anne that the major focus should be on spending time with loved ones and not so much on the food.