ILR without Ex's Permission

Alright, I have to apply for ILR by the end of May. Two months ago I sent an email to my ex-husbeast asking for another letter stating that he gave permission for our 17 yo son to remain in the UK and receive ILR with me. (Turns out that my 19 yo will have to get an extension on her FLR because she is over 18 now...the kids came in November, but have the same June expiry date as I do...so she will not have been here long enough for ILR.) I have had the kids speak to him twice since then...because he refuses to speak to me saying that if HIS kids need anything they are old enough to ask him themselves. He said he never got the first email, so I resent it last week, still nothing. We are running out of time here. Is there any chance that they will grant ILR to my 17 yo? I can include a long letter explaining the situation, copies of the emails and even the dates of the phone calls off our bill.

My son is finishing his GCSEs and has already been accepted into a good college for his A-levels. He has friends here. He does not want to go back to the US. If he did, he would be behind in credits to graduate from high school. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at my ex's behaviour he always has been a selfish s*$, but I could cry, scream and beat the crap out of him for this one.

I didn't get a new letter for my daughter's ILR. I used the same one that I used when I first moved to the UK- it gave permission for her to move and live in the UK. Any chance you have a copy of the original letter? (I assume you had one)

I am almost certain that was not in the paperwork that they sent back to us, so they must have kept that original letter.

You can say a lot of things about the BIA, and a lot of them are true.  But they have the sense to know that ex spouses are not always in perfect harmony - even when the well-being of the child is at stake.  So the rule of thumb in these situations is to take into consideration what's best for the child; and that gets factored in with all the other evidence.

Gather up what you have, get a document check, and you should be fine.

I am almost certain that was not in the paperwork that they sent back to us, so they must have kept that original letter.

ahh..I photo copied the original letter- that doesn't help you now though, sorry.

Take anything you have that will show you have tried to corrisponde with the x and they should have it on file, they did ask for the divorce papers, but the lady said I know you will have shown them in NYC so if you have not got them, they were very nice were we went, but I would call the PEO and just ask explain that they kept it when you did the first visa, and ask the school to do a report/letter on your child how settled, attendance so that it gives the PEO a good idea of the fact they have settled.

Good luck its such a stressfull time especially when its your children.

Indy and Sonya

Thanks for all the great advice. I will follow it all...especially the letter from his school...he is even a prefect so that should help. I am giving it one more try this weekend...and taking the gloves off...which usually gets results. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

OK, I spoke to him myself. On the advice of DH I was even nice. He said he would send it so here is hoping. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Hope everything works out!

Good luck Terri

Wishing you good luck!

Fingers crossed for you Terri!

Good news...I think. I received the signed letter in this mornings post (along with our adopted son's graduation announcement and pics...he is getting fat). The reason I said I think is that I typed the letter for him to sign. I don't have a mobile number for him so in addition to his home phone I put in " or my mobile, 001-xxx-yyy-zzzz" and the moroon didn't even change it to his actual mobile number. So I am going to ask the kids to get his number and write it by hand. But then I will need to explain the situation in the application. Hope that works.